To think that people should use their manners when I'm out walking my dog

[politenesspooch]

I've changed name for this due to the dog haters on here.

I walk my dog on lead of an early evening (he has a long off lead walk in the morning). I'm training him to walk properly by my side on a loose leash, but it's a work in progress and will take some time. He's a spaniel and very high energy, so I use lots of treats and encouragement. I've used and paid for a trainer to be able to do this correctly and I'm following her instruction and technique.

So why then do I have to contend with joggers, people on bikes and walkers coming up right behind me and my dog, spooking us both? Why don't they say "Excuse me!" because I would quite happily move to one side and make room for them?

Tonight it was a woman who exclaimed as she walked right up behind me and surprised both me and my dog and so my dog jumped towards her because he was taken by surprise?

AIBU to think people should just use some basic manners?

OP - speaking as a dog owner and dog walker, people generally don't give a shit that you're training your dog when you're out in public.

People just want to get on with their lives - they're not interested in the fact that you're loose-lead training - they just want to carry on with their bike ride or get to work on time.

Their thoughts won't be "oh, that lady looks like she's training, I'd better go into the road/stop/wait/go around her" - they just think "she's blocking the path and I need to get home".

You're imposing your dog's needs on others. If you are training your dog in walking on paths like this, you need to train him to deal with how people actually behave, not how you would like them to behave.

There have been a few threads recently where people have argued that they need to train their dogs using other (unwilling!) people - most notably the ones who decide to 'socialise' their dog by taking it to primary school gates at hometime so it can get used to children. And when it chases, jumps at, barks at and frightens children then it's the kid's fault for being nervous or 'surprising' the dog that they never asked to be near in the first place.

I do understand the logic of having to train your dog to behave around strangers and having to do that in the real world but there are just so many dogs now and they are everywhere. You talk with scorn about 'dog-haters' OP but some people have been attacked by dogs, some are allergic, some people have health and mobility issues that mean someone's 'playful, friendly, just saying hello' dog can knock them over or hurt them badly. There are so many lovely walks around me where I can't take my kids because of the amount of unpredictable dogs. Maybe they're all in the process of being trained but for those of us who don't choose to have dogs, it can get very wearying to constantly be a training tool for other people's every time you step outside.

This thread is making me feel very grateful that I live where I do, even though it normally feels like the land that time forgot. Round here the normal etiquette is to be aware of everyone else's use of the paths, to overtake or pass with consideration, to smile and nod or (brace yourselves) even say 'good morning' when it goes well, 'thank you' when someone steps aside or waits for you, and 'sorry' if you misjudge it.

OP the only practical suggestion I can make (apart from moving here) is maybe break the training into smaller steps if possible. So wider paths with no-one else around, narrower paths with no-one else around, go back to wider paths with a few people around, narrower paths with a few people, wider paths with lots of people, and finally narrow paths with lots of people. You mentioned traffic noise, you might have to add that in as another variable too. It takes more thought and organization on your part, but it makes it so much easier for the dog to learn that overall it doesn't take any more time.

I suspect you're taking up more space than think. On a shared pavement you need to be ready for someone to pass at any moment. Just like I have taught my dc to go in single file ahead of the pushchair, your dog needs to be on a short lead and right next to you. It's on you to be aware of other people imo.

A lot of people in general are rude and selfish. Am just starting latest puppy training, socialising. It's the previous mentioned plus a lot of very fast electric scooters, mobility scooters, they don't say excuse me. Those ridiculous long extending leads get my goat. There's one neighbour who walks her 2 dogs,fully extended, one often goes into the road. When the sun is very low in winter, after the clock change in October,dogs on leads on the prom (local beach) you can't see those cord ones stretched across the path

But, no, I don't expect anyone to get out of my way.

YABU I'm a jogger and I'm sick to death of all the fucking dogs blocking pavements! Go and train your dog elsewhere or choose a quieter time of day to do it. Early evening is peak time for people to be out taking exercise before it gets dark. Your sense of entitlement in a public space is irritating, but not unexpected, since I frequently have to run in the road to get round people like you who are taking up all the pavement with their fucking dogs.

Cyclists should ring a bell or announce they're coming past IMO as one nearly knocked my dog over the other day.

If I'm overtaking someone I always say "excuse me", basic manners n

Well this is interesting. Unless I could see a good reason why I shouldn’t, I’d definitely squeeze past, rather than speak to someone.

this reminds me of a time when the kids were small and we were out on bikes on a quiet road and totally inadvertently spooked a horse - I didn’t think we were being particularly quiet, and (not being a horse person) had no idea a horse wd be scared by people on bikes. Rider was FURIOUS w me - and accused me of putting her, horse and kids in real danger. But I genuinely had no idea that what we were doing - passing fairly quietly - would cause any problem.

maybe it’s a similar situation? Pple think what they are doing is just fine/polite.

Are they having to physically push past you, OP? If so, then of course they are being rude and they should say "excuse me". If they're simply walking past without actually making any contact with you or your dog, then you are being a bit unreasonable in my view.

I know nothing about dogs personally but I don't hate them. It just wouldn't ever occur to me that someone would take an untrained dog for a walk on such a narrow path.

I also don't really understand how someone saying "excuse me" when they pass would help your dog. Surely your dog would still be surprised by someone coming up behind him and having to pass by?

The excuse me gives the owner time to move her dog to the side or put him in a middle or down etc if that’s what they do.

You all keep doing what you want though. Don’t take 5 seconds of your time to make someone’s life easier. Why should you?

I understand its different on small paths as really you should say excuse me rather than just barging past someone. And I guess in smaller villages you come across less people.
However in London it amazes me how unaware some people are that other people might exist and be walking on the same road. Only yesterday I was walking along a pavement and I was walking about 10 meters behind a woman and 2 children. Our pace was very similar so i wasn't getting closer while walking. They then stopped to get something out of a bag. All fine. It was a wide pavement so huge amounts of room to get past. I carried on at my normal pace and went to overtake. As I was level with them they started walking again. So now we're all walking at the same pace next to each other. The woman looked at me and pulled the child nearest to me away and said "EXCUSE ME!" It was so weird. I was simply walking down the road and overtook other stopped pedestrians. The woman just seemed shocked and annoyed that another person was on the road. What should I have done? Stopped behind them and waited? Said excuse me when passing them despite there being about 5ft of passing room? Waited to cross the busy road to the other side to get round them?
I find this happens with dog walkers a lot as well in London. You're walking at a normal pace way behind a dog walker. But they obviously keep stopping so eventually you catch up with them. And they always start walking again just as you're right next to them. So you're now walking down the road next to them like you're with them. And they always seem to look at me like I'm the weird one. I just these people should be aware others might be walking along as well and wait 2 seconds for them to pass.
(This is kind of lighthearted because in my part of London you certainly do not talk to strangers so walking next to a stranger is the height of awkwardness!)

I'm a dog owner, I trained my dog on a lead, they need to get used to people coming up behind them and traffic, other dogs etc. I wouldn't have minded joggers etc going by, that's what the dog needs to show him it's all normal behaviour. No good walking him and not seeing anyone else, that will teach him nothing.

That's not it though, is it? I would be perfectly happy to say "excuse me" if I thought it was going to make someone's life easier, but it wouldn't necessarily occur to me that this would be needed if there is enough space for me to walk past without any physical contact. Like I say, I know nothing about dogs, why would I?

There are so many lone walkers with earphones in now anyway, I wouldn't assume that they would even hear an "excuse me" from behind in any case. If I'm walking alone, I am typically listening to something and have to stop it and take my earphones out to talk to someone.

The dog owner and dog are taking up so much of the pavement @Spanne that the runner has to say excuse me or squeeze past closely, but it’s the runner than should change their behaviour? Really?

I have a pack of dogs. I frequently look in front and behind to check in case anyone is approaching so I can step to the side.

Why can't you do that?

Entitled much? I’m a dog owner and the world doesn’t revolve around me.

Because on a public pavement I shouldn't have to be worrying that a fucking dog is going to growl/jump up/bite me. Take your dog to a park or something.

As I'm training my dog I can assure you I'm definitely not wearing headphones.

Exactly. The onus is on the dog owner to be aware of their surroundings and to keep their dog under control at all times - that's the law. It's not optional.

I own a reactive dog (after several attacks) and I'm also a dog walker - I'm constantly risk-assessing walks to make sure the dogs are safe. Yes, it can be tiring and yes, it can be frustrating when people just barge past but it's not their responsibility to be aware of your dog and to change their behaviour to help you - though of course, it would be nice if they did.

I am both a dog owner and a jogger. I have trained my dog not to be spooked, I constantly look behind me when walking so I can gauge if joggers are coming. Sometimes I make him sit and watch if the path is narrow other times I just give him a treat if he doesn’t bark which is now all the time.

when I am jogging I wouldn’t say excuse me however if the path is narrow I might cough from a distance away and if I think a dog might be deaf as dogs generally turn when you are running up to their owners, I will say morning/evening etc.

I think you need to be more observant of your surroundings to be honest.

I am thinking your idea of "right behind you" is different to that of the jogger

I would say if I was really close but if it was just a normal passing distance - say not within arms length - I wouldn't

Depending where you are you could make that easier by walking in one side of a path : trail

I'm intrigued. I'll bite.

How 'narrow' is the path, and when people 'swerve' around you, they must go on a verge to swerve, I guess? Unless perhaps they squeeze past in a few inches. How wide is the path including verge onto which swerves happen, but excluding wall-fence-ditch-brambles-gorse etc. type barriers?

At what distance behind you would you like the person to call out 'Excuse me!" I think OP is saying absolutely everyone overtakes her wordlessly like shouldering ghosts, but presuming they were polite instead, should they call out at 10 feet behind you, what is the best sort of distance to advise you of their approach?

I also wondered at what distance the OP expects people to say "excuse me". Surely by the time you're close enough to say it, you're close enough to have surprised the dog I'm any case.

If I was going to say "excuse me", the natural time for me to say it would be as I was actually passing. I would feel really stupid shouting out "excuse me" from e.g. 10 paces behind.