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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that people should use their manners when I'm out walking my dog

215 replies

politenesspooch · 29/09/2023 18:25

I've changed name for this due to the dog haters on here.

I walk my dog on lead of an early evening (he has a long off lead walk in the morning). I'm training him to walk properly by my side on a loose leash, but it's a work in progress and will take some time. He's a spaniel and very high energy, so I use lots of treats and encouragement. I've used and paid for a trainer to be able to do this correctly and I'm following her instruction and technique.

So why then do I have to contend with joggers, people on bikes and walkers coming up right behind me and my dog, spooking us both? Why don't they say "Excuse me!" because I would quite happily move to one side and make room for them?

Tonight it was a woman who exclaimed as she walked right up behind me and surprised both me and my dog and so my dog jumped towards her because he was taken by surprise?

AIBU to think people should just use some basic manners?

OP posts:
EtiennePalmiere · 29/09/2023 19:58

Thanks for the laugh. You know you're on public land ?

Original poster
politenesspooch · 29/09/2023 19:59

Velvian · 29/09/2023 18:30

Is thus because you are regularly stopping due to training? If so, I would say the onus is on you to look around you before doing so.

I am not a dog hater fyi, just back from a dog walk.

Fair point, I think I'd get it if it was because I was stopping and people were walking into us, but generally speaking, it's when we are walking and in motion.

OP posts:
Original poster
politenesspooch · 29/09/2023 20:00

DoooooWhoop · 29/09/2023 18:30

Maybe wear a top with the words written on the back saying "honk your horn".

Ha ha, I have thought of getting an "In training" hi vis.

It does make me wonder however if this happens to support dogs? Do they get other path users walking right up behind them?

OP posts:
Robinbuildsbears · 29/09/2023 20:02

Surely saying "excuse me" would surprise your dog?

Original poster
politenesspooch · 29/09/2023 20:02

Fairospop22 · 29/09/2023 18:32

Are you walking really slow?are the paths really narrow where you live? How much width of the pavement are you occupying?

Yeah, they're quite narrow in places and that's why they are coming up behind and squeezing past. In the wider areas they'll move around us.

OP posts:
CakeInAJar · 29/09/2023 20:06

But the woman who your dog punched in apparently DID ‘exclaim’ and that alerted your dog. I think what it sounds like you want is just for people to stay behind you and never overtake you which is of course v unreasonable

Original poster
politenesspooch · 29/09/2023 20:06

Helpmepleaseimbusy · 29/09/2023 18:35

What the OP is saying is that the joggers etc aren't jogging around her but getting very close and then when they are right behaind her making a noise so that she and her dog move out of the way. She has a point. People shouldn't even be cycling on the pavement, but yet they do this.

Of course, when one person is walking and another jogging, the jogger is faster, therfore should jog around/cross the road.

If I am walking at a faster pace than a toddler and their parent I walk around.

I get what you mean OP.

Yes, this. I'm the same with other people on the path if they're in front of me. I won't squeeze past, I'll just say "Excuse me" if I need to get past them. Where I live it's a village, the paths are narrow, surely it's just manners and being polite if you want to move past someone and there's not much room?

OP posts:
Stonebridge · 29/09/2023 20:09

Do you have any hearing difficulties that you don't hear them coming? I think I'd always notice if there was someone coming up behind quickly so I'd automatically move out of the way before they'd have to ask

Poppysmom22 · 29/09/2023 20:09

I'm partially deaf I just need a minute to get everyone settled before you do something that the dogs find scary or super exciting ( you are running therefore you must want chasing)

CakeInAJar · 29/09/2023 20:11

Ugh I hate the ‘the dog thinks you want to be chased’ shite. A well trained dog doesn’t chase running humans. I was once told by the owner of some bull breed to ‘stand fucking still for fucks sake’ when I was jogging and it chased me snapping at my ankles.
Er no come and get your out of control dog you fool

Original poster
politenesspooch · 29/09/2023 20:11

CakeInAJar · 29/09/2023 18:40

OP, with the greatest of respect, it’s not all about you and your dog and people aren’t psychic. it’s hardly the fault of walkers and cyclists that your dog isnt quite trained.

I find that 98% of dogs I pass when I run totally and completely ignore me. Therefore I don’t expect and can’t guess which 2% who leap up at me will be, as their owner insists they’re friendly (well I’m not friendly).

Unless this woman came up behind you and screamed for no reason then YABVU

Edited

Do you jog closely to others? Don't you give some space and then swerve around them, whether they have a dog or not?

OP posts:
Sprogonthetyne · 29/09/2023 20:13

Don't know much about dogs but when I walk holding hands with my toddler, we move slowly and take up most of the pavement width. I therefore am mindful of people around me, and we tuck in if someone is coming up behind. They very really say excuse me, as I've already clocked them and moved before they get close enough to need to.

Is walking with a dog on a lead similar to that? If so, I'd say it's on you to be more aware of your surroundings.

Original poster
politenesspooch · 29/09/2023 20:15

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 29/09/2023 18:42

I don't really understand what you're saying. If someone's walking along and I'm walking faster, and there's room for me to get past then I just walk past? Them having a dog with them wouldn't change that.

If there's no room, and I need to get past then obviously I'd say 'excuse me'.

I don't have a dog, know nothing about them. I wouldn't be able to tell you were actively training (unless you were doing something obvious like sit and stay) rather than just walking along. It wouldn't even occur to me that walking past would interrupt or affect what you were doing.

And surely someone saying 'excuse me' from behind you would be as much of a distraction as saying whatever it was that the woman said today?

Sorry, I'm probably missing something because I know nothing about dogs!

It's interesting you say "I know nothing about dogs" because maybe that's it? I do find other dog walkers don't walk right up behind other dog walkers. Perhaps we've all picked up the subtle clues that you just don't do that? You either hold back a bit and give some space or you cross or even change your route. What you don't do id get right up behind another dog walker and squeeze past.

OP posts:
CakeInAJar · 29/09/2023 20:15

politenesspooch · 29/09/2023 20:11

Do you jog closely to others? Don't you give some space and then swerve around them, whether they have a dog or not?

Show quote history

No, but if the path is wide enough that I can pass them easily without touching/brushing past them I don’t bother saying ‘excuse me’. Absolutely no need to at all.

Im a very heavy, puffy runner and it only comes out as “es-hooo-he” anyway so i don’t do it unless I need to so as not to terrify people 🤣

Rosiem2808 · 29/09/2023 20:16

OP Find somewhere else to walk is my advice !

CakeInAJar · 29/09/2023 20:16

But ‘walking up behind people’ is just walking? Just at a faster pace?

Original poster
politenesspooch · 29/09/2023 20:17

KrisAkabusi · 29/09/2023 18:48

So why then do I have to contend with joggers, people on bikes and walkers coming up right behind me and my dog, spooking us both? Why don't they say "Excuse me!" because I would quite happily move to one side and make room for them?

Tonight it was a woman who exclaimed as she walked right up behind me and surprised both me and my dog and so my dog jumped towards her because he was taken by surprise?

In the first paragraph you want people to let you know when they're behind you. In the second you're complaining that the jogger let you know that she was behind you. What do you want people to do? Start shouting Beep Beep from 50 yards away?

She wasn't a jogger, she was a walker who squeezed past. She didn't let me know, she only exclaimed after my dog jumped towards her.

OP posts:
Baaaaaa · 29/09/2023 20:18

I have dogs. There is lots of anti dog sentiment around, but sorry YABU.

You can't expect joggers passing you to say excuse me as they pass.

Very odd

CakeInAJar · 29/09/2023 20:19

politenesspooch · 29/09/2023 20:17

She wasn't a jogger, she was a walker who squeezed past. She didn't let me know, she only exclaimed after my dog jumped towards her.

Show quote history

You said in your OP she exclaimed (sorry what does this mean, did she scream?) as she walked up behind you? Not that she barged past you and only exclaimed when your dog jumped.

I have to say I’d say something loudly at a jumping dog I absolutely hate it

Original poster
politenesspooch · 29/09/2023 20:21

Spookymormonhelldream · 29/09/2023 18:48

Does your dog not hear the person coming up behind you? Maybe you should ask your vet to check his hearing.

He doesn't show any indication, no. He's either focused on me for a treat reward for his walking, or busy sniffing. As for his hearing in general, we do gundog dog training with him and he responds to whistle and verbal commands (and can hear the opening of the fridge just fine!).

I'm talking about personal space area here.

OP posts:
Lessexpected · 29/09/2023 20:23

Happened to me today. Jogger came up but didn’t say anything on narrow path and nowhere for us to go until she was upon us. So our small dog went towards her (on lead) and she looked scared. Common sense is lacking! Just say, ‘excuse me pls’! But you can’t legislation for everyone. It’s being a member of a society.

Lessexpected · 29/09/2023 20:24

Ps. I would recommend everyone says something if they’re approaching an XL Bully type dog for example in similar situation!

Original poster
politenesspooch · 29/09/2023 20:26

Cosyblankets · 29/09/2023 18:51

I've got a young dog.
I don't experience any of this. I'm constantly out and training.
Take note of your surroundings.... someone coming.... move slightly to one side... treat the dog for ignoring the runner or whoever as you carry on walking. Or get the dog to sit as they run past. Then treat. Then carry on. Hand feed the dog as you walk if you feed dry food so that the dog is focusing on you and nothing else. Catch the dog being good and make a fuss.
You are on the road to having a reactive dog if you don't do something about it

As I said in my OP, he's being trained under the guidance of a trainer using force free methods.

The paths are sometimes narrow, I can't always move to one side and sometimes have walked and then held back in people's driveways to allow others including joggers to move past. I guess I'm just asking for similar consideration that people don't get in my personal space to get past.

OP posts:
felisha54 · 29/09/2023 20:26

I have a dog and regularly walk where there are joggers and cyclists. It's up to you to be aware of your environment and know what's in front and behind you. On our normal morning walk there's s big green area we pass through where I met my dog off (mainly for sniffing, also a spaniel) but as soon as I see a runner or cyclist in the distance he's called straight over and lead out on.

Meowandthen · 29/09/2023 20:26

Maybe you shouldn’t hog the whole path?