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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is in the wrong - vegan or manager?

649 replies

iloverobbrydon · 28/09/2023 18:05

A group of friends go into a pub that do food. One of them is vegan. She looks at the menu and sees that there are no V or VE signs on the menu at all. Even for items that clearly veggie and vegan, the pub don't use the signs. However, they do list the ingredients and a description of the meal under the meal title.

There are 2 or 3 vegan options. One of them is a pasta where the ingredients are listed as pasta, tomato, basil etc. And have a little description of the taste. No animal products listed at all so the vegan orders this.

The meal comes out and it has a fried egg on top of it. The egg was not listed in the ingredients so she sent it back explaining why.

The manager who took the order is not happy because she never actually said she was vegan and they arent mind readers. They come out and say if you can't eat certain foods then you need to tell the staff to make sure that those things are actually 100% ok for you to eat.

It does escalate into a bit of an argument because the vegan is saying well if you list your ingredients then how am I to know that you only list some ingredients and not others? Where on your menu does it say how your menu works and that you won't list everything? That's just confusing. Either list everything or nothing. The manager is saying if you need a meal to not have an ingredient you need to tell us.

You can probably work out which one I am but I didn't want to write it one sided, just wanted to explain the situation and ask who you think is in the wrong here?

OP posts:
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6
BabyStopCryin · 29/09/2023 21:53

Fried egg - weird!

Lindyloomillion1 · 29/09/2023 21:57

The manager, obviously

Scylax · 29/09/2023 21:59

I completely agree with the PP who said that veganism is the red-herring here - putting extra
major components on a dish without listing them puts the manager in the wrong - even if that component had been vegan it wouldn’t have been ok. That it’s an allergen makes it even worse.

side point but egg on top of tomato/basil pasta?!? Yuck!

Elvis1956 · 29/09/2023 22:18

No that's vegetarian, not vegan...do the research. Protein, vitamin b etc, provided by eggs, yoghurt, cheese...you have to eat a lot of fucking nuts to make up the deficit...or a lot of dodgy chemicals in processed food

Emz6103 · 29/09/2023 22:28

Mostlyoblivious · 29/09/2023 20:11

Both are in the wrong.
The pub needs to list it’s menu properly for a very good few reasons and your friends needs to state that their meal needs to be vegan. It felt like the friend was waiting to see if they messed up to then have the discussion instead of flagging it at point of order which is a little churlish

This ☝️ totally agree!! Its four words "is this vegan friendly?" ......the pasta could have contained egg. Same for allergies "is this ok for xyz allergy?"
Personal responsibility is a must when you don't cook your own food, if you don't ask.....the onus is on you.
Then after ditching personal responsibility then over reacting because"it's not vegan" makes you look not only foolish but childish too!

Whataretheodds · 29/09/2023 22:29

YABVU.

The vegan should have checked before ordering. I can't remember the last time I ate out and wasn't asked, as I was handed the menu or just before orders were taken, if we had any allergies or intolerances.

But the vegan should have asked. The establishment should have had allergens clearly labelled on the menu, which would have highlighted a number of non-vegan items.

Emz6103 · 29/09/2023 22:33

Sarbears28 · 29/09/2023 18:52

The vegan, as how did they (the vegan) know if the pasta contained egg or not? The person who has the dietary issue should be the one to make sure what they are ordering is suitable for them. We live too much in a nanny state and expect every one else to be mind readers to our wants/needs.

This ☝️

plantsandwich · 29/09/2023 22:34

I am not interested in an argument, but thanks for the offer.

It'd be unusual (as I've said before) for pasta to contain egg in this sort of scenario in my experience.

Rmr40 · 29/09/2023 22:43

I would have thought the pasta had egg in it? I think it’s best to clarify which dishes are safe to eat…no bother on your part and avoids this situation.

Stirrerofthings · 30/09/2023 00:18

The pasta could well have egg in it too unless specifically mentioned as vegan! I’d have checked with the server!

plantsandwich · 30/09/2023 01:00

Someone else really needs to say 'Wouldn't the pasta have egg in. They MUST!

Poppins2016 · 30/09/2023 01:41

This thread has turned a little bonkers. Putting the issue of being vegan aside (to be honest, I think that's almost a red herring, but appreciate that OP mentioned it to the manager), it really is perfectly normal to expect a meal to arrive as per the description.

E.g. if I ordered a slice of sticky toffee pudding, I wouldn't expect it to arrive with a slice of bacon on top (and then to be told, "oh, but you can't complain, you should have said you were vegetarian"). This is really no different.

JuliusWho · 30/09/2023 01:58

BatteryPoweredMammy · 29/09/2023 14:53

Pasta itself can be made with eggs, so surely you should have asked if the Pasta dish was suitable for vegans?

If you’re unable to eat certain foods, then it’s obviously your responsibility to ensure that the food you buy meets your particular requirements.

I don’t eat most fish and seafood, so if there’s any doubt, I always ask.

So, in this example, if you ordered the pasta dish, with the ingredients listed as ‘pasta, tomato sauce and basil’ and the pasta arrived with anchovies on top, you would think ‘well I guess that’s on me because I didn’t check that they wouldn’t put a fish on top’?

AzraiL · 30/09/2023 04:09

.

NoGNoDNoClue · 30/09/2023 05:23

Being vegan is really not a red herring in this scenario.

There are very many reasons why a pasta dish might not be vegan - butter, cheese, anchovy, egg - and the dish was not listed as being vegan. Any sensible vegan would have asked the question.

I'm not sure why people are so insistent that it has to be one or the other that's in the wrong here. Both are. Even the op has come back to acknowledge that!

StillGotBabyBrain · 30/09/2023 05:40

Elvis1956 · 29/09/2023 20:43

Personally I can't stand the while vegan bullshit. It's not a diet that a human can live on without artificial supplements.

However the manage is wrong...what if you don't like eggs, or allergic...the menu is crap because 1 in 70 people are vegan in the UK (according to the BBC food programme) so you are excluding over 1% of your customers and as someone who owns bars/hospitality businesses...that's just stupid

Oh dear, what a positively odd thing to say when it's simply just untrue. Maybe you should stop talking bullshit 🥱

Veganism isn't even a diet, vegans eat a plantbased diet.

StillGotBabyBrain · 30/09/2023 05:50

Elvis1956 · 29/09/2023 22:18

No that's vegetarian, not vegan...do the research. Protein, vitamin b etc, provided by eggs, yoghurt, cheese...you have to eat a lot of fucking nuts to make up the deficit...or a lot of dodgy chemicals in processed food

How odd that you're telling people to do the research.... given your ridiculous comments... 🙄

There are plenty of wholefood plantbased proteins, which are more nutrient packed than meat for less calories, and include fiber which meat doesn’t. Where do you think all the massive herbivores get their protein from?!

Also, have you ever heard of anyone you know being protein deficient, I haven't.

MercedesD · 30/09/2023 07:24

The vegan is in the wrong for not asking and clarifying. If it’s not labeled as vegan you can’t be sure so just ask. There could be many reasons it’s not vegan other than having a blatant egg on top.

the manager is in the wrong for the way they handled the situation. It’s not a big deal, take it back apologise make a new dish without the egg and say “in future please feel free to ask about any dietary requirements before hand”.

MrsLighthouse · 30/09/2023 08:43

The dish sounds yuck ..but surely if you have a specific eating requirement - especially somewhere without the V signs - you would mention it to the staff ?

Cakeaddict007 · 30/09/2023 08:46

They are both in the wrong.

Egg is an allergen but anybody with any dietary requirements has a responsibility to let the restaurant know.

dawngreen · 30/09/2023 08:51

Some ones eating habits have nothing to do with it. You don't sell a meal with a description of it, then when it turns up it has some thing added to it that the person do's not like.

Did that actually happen or has some one got a issue with vegetarians/vegans? And some ones choice of food is nothing to do with others. Junk food, processed food, or nut roasts!

NewName122 · 30/09/2023 08:55

Yanbu. Had the same thing. I HATE cheese and read a menu and picked a meal and they sent it out with cheese on. Not listed on the menu. I don't get it at all. Do they think people would like something extra and just chuck it on?!

Mothership4two · 30/09/2023 08:57

Manager is in the wrong. They should stick to the items that are listed - that is surely the whole point of doing that and potentially dangerous not to do it. Obviously OP should now check that the pasta used is vegan. I'm a vegetarian and have never felt the need to announce myself to a restaurant or pub, but will ask for clarification if in doubt, such as if it is a pasta dish to check that parmesan cheese isn't in it.

Manager is also very wrong in getting snotty and angry especially with a very apologetic customer. It sounds as if there was an argument because of their awful behaviour. I would be leaving equally snotty feedback on their site or TripAdvisor.

Barney60 · 30/09/2023 09:40

You are not wrong, im veggie had i ordered a meal with what was listed for it to have a lump of mince or bits of steak on top is the same principal, the manager should have said when it was ordered there is an egg with this, or it should be on the menu, anyways who puts a fried egg on top of pasta?

BabyStopCryin · 30/09/2023 09:40

My old boss has an egg allergy (and she would have quizzed then about the past) but a random fried egg lobbed on top is odd.