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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is in the wrong - vegan or manager?

649 replies

iloverobbrydon · 28/09/2023 18:05

A group of friends go into a pub that do food. One of them is vegan. She looks at the menu and sees that there are no V or VE signs on the menu at all. Even for items that clearly veggie and vegan, the pub don't use the signs. However, they do list the ingredients and a description of the meal under the meal title.

There are 2 or 3 vegan options. One of them is a pasta where the ingredients are listed as pasta, tomato, basil etc. And have a little description of the taste. No animal products listed at all so the vegan orders this.

The meal comes out and it has a fried egg on top of it. The egg was not listed in the ingredients so she sent it back explaining why.

The manager who took the order is not happy because she never actually said she was vegan and they arent mind readers. They come out and say if you can't eat certain foods then you need to tell the staff to make sure that those things are actually 100% ok for you to eat.

It does escalate into a bit of an argument because the vegan is saying well if you list your ingredients then how am I to know that you only list some ingredients and not others? Where on your menu does it say how your menu works and that you won't list everything? That's just confusing. Either list everything or nothing. The manager is saying if you need a meal to not have an ingredient you need to tell us.

You can probably work out which one I am but I didn't want to write it one sided, just wanted to explain the situation and ask who you think is in the wrong here?

OP posts:
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ididntwanttodoit · 29/09/2023 14:34

So now you have to list all the things you don't want to find on top of your pasta? No rhubarb for me, thanks. Or turnip. Or crushed walnuts. or .... where does it stop? Manager is bonkers.

IfYouDontAsk · 29/09/2023 14:35

The restaurant did nothing wrong. The dish wasn’t labelled on the menu as vegan so there’s absolutely no reason to assume it was. As others have said, it’s quite likely the pasta itself was made with egg, it’s likely that a pasta dish would either be finished with cheese such as Parmesan or have it in the sauce.

If you didn’t want the dish and offered to pay for it as well as a replacement meal then that’s fine- did you offer to pay for the dish you sent back? If not then I can see why the restaurant staff weren’t best pleased.

Mammajay · 29/09/2023 14:35

Manager

IslaWinds · 29/09/2023 14:36

You should always inform staff of dietary requirements no matter what the menu has or doesn’t have on it. I have family members that are gluten free, vegan, vegetarian and a few with food allergies. It’s just what you do to ensure your meal is made correctly.

The manager is correct in this case. In future the vegan should mention they are vegan when ordering their food.

Longdarkcloud · 29/09/2023 14:45

A bit off the point but in response to those who feel an egg is weird. In Brittany, at least, it is common to find a raw egg in shell on top of a pasta dish. Comical to see the expression on the faces of DC who had ordered spaghetti bolognaise

vicky46 · 29/09/2023 14:52

Pubs in the wrong. I can’t eat raw onion, gives me migraines. I’ve done this before where I’ve ordered a burger on the menu seemed to have a very long list of ingredients, no raw onion mentioned, along it comes with onion 🙄just frustrating. I agree with your friend, list a general description or list ‘all’ the ingredients.

BatteryPoweredMammy · 29/09/2023 14:53

Pasta itself can be made with eggs, so surely you should have asked if the Pasta dish was suitable for vegans?

If you’re unable to eat certain foods, then it’s obviously your responsibility to ensure that the food you buy meets your particular requirements.

I don’t eat most fish and seafood, so if there’s any doubt, I always ask.

5foot5 · 29/09/2023 14:57

Longdarkcloud · 29/09/2023 14:45

A bit off the point but in response to those who feel an egg is weird. In Brittany, at least, it is common to find a raw egg in shell on top of a pasta dish. Comical to see the expression on the faces of DC who had ordered spaghetti bolognaise

Yes, I encountered similar elsewhere in France. Normally I would have thought "Bit weird!" but would have stirred it in anyway. However at the time I was four months pregnant so decided not to risk it. I just removed the shell with the egg in and ate the rest.

Differentstarts · 29/09/2023 15:01

Did any of your friends dishes have random extras added. It's just so bizarre

5foot5 · 29/09/2023 15:08

Nagado · 29/09/2023 14:33

I refer you to my post at 14:05. If you read that and still don’t understand the point I was making then I suggest we draw a line under it and both move on. The day is too nice to be getting frustrated with internet randoms over eggs.

You are right. It is a nice day. So perhaps we should draw a line.

I have read your post at 14:05 and accept that, for you at least, the thought of an animal product touching your food is sickening.

I still find that quite an extreme reaction and question whether all vegans would feel like that. After all, many people surely become vegan as a moral choice, not because they dislike meat, eggs, cheese etc. I respect that. They are making a sacrifice for their principles by giving up food items that they would otherwise enjoy eating. In that case I would be surprised if they would feel actually sickened if their food appeared adjacent to an egg.

However, enough. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Nagado · 29/09/2023 15:20

5foot5 · 29/09/2023 15:08

You are right. It is a nice day. So perhaps we should draw a line.

I have read your post at 14:05 and accept that, for you at least, the thought of an animal product touching your food is sickening.

I still find that quite an extreme reaction and question whether all vegans would feel like that. After all, many people surely become vegan as a moral choice, not because they dislike meat, eggs, cheese etc. I respect that. They are making a sacrifice for their principles by giving up food items that they would otherwise enjoy eating. In that case I would be surprised if they would feel actually sickened if their food appeared adjacent to an egg.

However, enough. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Just to clarify (in case you ever notice my name in a post raving about Turkey sandwiches and wonder whether I was just being a goady fucker) I’m not vegan, or even vegetarian. I’m just surrounded by an uncommonly large number of them, and they all feel like this.

However, enough. Enjoy the rest of your day And you 🙂

MartyMcFlysPurpleUnderwear · 29/09/2023 15:21

@BatteryPoweredMammy only the fancy fresh pastas are made with eggs. A pub is hardly going to be serving expensive fancy pasta.

ttcat37 · 29/09/2023 15:23

As a veggie I always always check before ordering. Often things are cooked with bacon, or cooking dripping etc. Being vegan is much harder as so much is cooked in butter- I used to work in a kitchen and even the vegetables were cooked with butter.

MartyMcFlysPurpleUnderwear · 29/09/2023 15:26

@IfYouDontAsk why is it quite likely the pasta was made with eggs? Only fresh pasta has eggs in. Do you honestly think a pub is serving expensive egg pasta rather than standard cheap pasta (which is always vegan)? Come on now 😂

diddl · 29/09/2023 15:28

The restaurant did nothing wrong. The dish wasn’t labelled on the menu as vegan so there’s absolutely no reason to assume it was.

But how does that explain that it was served with an egg which wasn't in the description?

Louiseb85 · 29/09/2023 15:28

The pub are wrong but I would have probably asked if it was a vegan dish as it wasn't specified

BatteryPoweredMammy · 29/09/2023 15:33

MartyMcFlysPurpleUnderwear · 29/09/2023 15:21

@BatteryPoweredMammy only the fancy fresh pastas are made with eggs. A pub is hardly going to be serving expensive fancy pasta.

Why not? The local pubs I go into definitely cook food from scratch and sell fresh egg pasta.

Mind you, we don’t have crappy pub chains like Witherspoons or Brewers Droop over here. 😂

https://www.baltimore.ie/venue/sibin-bar/

Baltimore - Venue Details

https://www.baltimore.ie/venue/sibin-bar/

SeatonCarew · 29/09/2023 15:34

Restaurants need to stop adding random major "extras" to dishes which wouldn't normally be expected. It's not clever or edgy, it's just annoying, whether you have allergies or preferences or not.

A few years ago I ordered gammon in a pub. It arrived swimming in a hitherto totally unmentioned cheese sauce, despite other accompaniments being listed.

I'm a coeliac, but I don't think anybody reasonable would expect that to turn up, and I can imagine a lot of people would send it back. I did.

saltyseashell · 29/09/2023 15:35

@MartyMcFlysPurpleUnderwear I'm not sure why you're being so insistent that a pub wouldn't serve fresh pasta. Plenty of pubs serve really lovely quality food with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. I'd imagine there's a fair few that would even make their own pasta on site. Not all pubs are Wetherspoons quality!

Ffion21 · 29/09/2023 15:39

The manager but….pasta is more often than not made with egg. I’m assuming it didn’t say “egg free pasta” so regardless it likely wasn’t vegan.

Anotherdayanotherdramaa · 29/09/2023 15:48

The manager is completely in the wrong. Even if you weren't vegan, a surprise fried egg on your pasta dish is weird and reason enough to send the dish back.

HoneyBadger525 · 29/09/2023 15:55

I’m lactose intolerant. I don’t bother flagging it when they ask as it’s not going to kill me but I make my judgment on what to have based on the description. I’d be pissed off too if I was the vegan. Like asking for your hair to be dyed brown and the hairdresser deciding to do random streaks of purple in your fringe?? YANBU - Manager/establishment definitely in the wrong.

Lotus3 · 29/09/2023 15:59

ESH.

The manager is in the wrong, that is a significant omission on the menu and the V/Ve signs make this sort of thing much easier.

BUT the vegan needs to make sure they mention their dietary requirements when ordering a dish. Because legally, the restaurant only has to have an allergen sheet available on request. He is right, they are not mind readers. For example, the pasta could have had some butter added to the cooking water or something which wouldn't be mentioned. If you care that deeply or have significant dietaries, please always inform your server.

Everyone could have communicated better, honestly. I don't think taking sides is needed here.

MysteryBelle · 29/09/2023 15:59

It is a heinous crime to plop a fried egg on top of a perfectly good tomato basil pasta. Yuck. I’m with the vegan on this.

allhailthebrain · 29/09/2023 16:03

I don't like fried eggs. I would have been pretty dismayed to find that on top of my pasta - especially the kind of oils it would now mean my pasta was covered in... I'd still be able to taste it even if I moved it off (I probably would have just done that though, I'm one for the quiet life).

To me it is very odd to not mention that it comes with a fried egg on top as I've never heard of that combination before - not here in the UK anyway!

As you mentioned, while adjusting, I guess you need to ask when ordering (though it's unusual they didn't have vegan and veggie meals marked anyway!) till you get to grips with it, and checking for things like egg in fresh pasta, oils etc - but I would have assumed, like you, that pasta would not come with an egg on it!

It sounds like the attitude was the problem - because at face value, yours was accepting of the misunderstanding and the manager's was not.