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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this just hormones or am I right to be angry

69 replies

Lauryn95 · 28/09/2023 11:31

Partner had a random girl I've never heard of post a picture of him with nothing but multiple love hearts as the caption, it was a selfie he's pretty close like arm round her she's got her hands on his chest she's doing a pouty face they're faces are touching and the comments go on to say, This was so fun I got too drunk we'll have to do it again etc ,Anyway I said who is that and he said oh someone I don't really know ,Its my friends wife from a gig a couple years back ,I was confused cause he said this gig at the time he went to was just him and his brother ,I questioned why if he barely knows her why is she posting that and he said he doesn't know ,Anyway I'm really angry but I'm 8 months pregnant and I don't know if it's the hormones or what ,He's adamant I'm being stupid as it's one of his friends wives but I said if she's someone you barely know what's with the hearts and why is she randomly now putting it on your Facebook and why are you saying oh we should do this again, if you don't know her why is she even on your Facebook etc also looking back through posts this woman is always love heart reacting things he posts ,I find it really strange behaviour and inappropriate because the picture looks like they're really close like the kind of picture you take with your spouse not a stranger and also he told me it was him and his brother not him and his friends wives going to this gig ,I'm upset aswell because I wanted to go and he said it was just him and his brother ,what would you do ? Is it normal now to add your husbands friends that you don't know and start love reacting to everything and share selfie together with hearts when you only met supposedly one time years back ,Am I an idiot? would you assume there's something more to this or am I being an irrational hormonal jealous beast

OP posts:
Bellaboo01 · 28/09/2023 11:34

If it is your partner's friend's wives then, surely you know her?

Lauryn95 · 28/09/2023 11:38

Bellaboo01 · 28/09/2023 11:34

If it is your partner's friend's wives then, surely you know her?

No I don't know her ,I have absolutely no idea who she is ,I have heard of the friend briefly but it's not a friend he does things with it's a work friend from years ago

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 28/09/2023 11:40

It’s very strange, if it was a while ago then why would she post it now? If she was married then why would she post a bunch of love hearts around the picture?

It all seems very strange so I don’t think you’re being hormonal, I’d want to know what was happening too.
Can he prove it’s his friend wife? Does it say she’s married on her social media?

Bellaboo01 · 28/09/2023 11:41

Hiddenvoice · 28/09/2023 11:40

It’s very strange, if it was a while ago then why would she post it now? If she was married then why would she post a bunch of love hearts around the picture?

It all seems very strange so I don’t think you’re being hormonal, I’d want to know what was happening too.
Can he prove it’s his friend wife? Does it say she’s married on her social media?

This

Hibye23289 · 28/09/2023 11:42

Very weird but don't doubt yourself you have every right to be annoyed, it is not your hormones.

Lauryn95 · 28/09/2023 11:46

Hiddenvoice · 28/09/2023 11:40

It’s very strange, if it was a while ago then why would she post it now? If she was married then why would she post a bunch of love hearts around the picture?

It all seems very strange so I don’t think you’re being hormonal, I’d want to know what was happening too.
Can he prove it’s his friend wife? Does it say she’s married on her social media?

Yeah it says married and her profile picture is her in a wedding dress ,that's what I mean I find that odd behaviour to just randomly decide to post that with just hearts around it from 2 years ago ,if they were close I'd maybe understand but he says he doesn't even know her, said he met her briefly for a couple mins when that picture was taken ,idk my gut says he's lying because I just think that's super bizarre if what he's saying is true

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 28/09/2023 11:47

Based on your op , we have no idea if she is psycho or your h is a cheating liar.

But- you are absolutely right to be raising this!! And a decent husband, with nothing to hide, would be proving to you that it is the former of my two options above, not the latter. Because decent husbands don't want their wives to be unhappy.

This is fairly easy to sort - what does her husband think of all this?

smallshinybutton · 28/09/2023 11:49

Either she is in to him or he's seeing her

Lauryn95 · 28/09/2023 11:51

smallshinybutton · 28/09/2023 11:49

Either she is in to him or he's seeing her

I'm thinking both cause if she just fancied him he'd be weirded out and explain what is going on but instead he's telling me I'm being stupid and jealous ,Think he's trying to gaslight me

OP posts:
IAmAnIdiot123 · 28/09/2023 11:52

Has it come up as a memory? I have a few friends husbands on fb (I know them though) and I love react most of their posts but they are usually pics of the whole family, tbh i never really see which one of the couple has posted, just see a nice pic and love react it.

RoomOfRequirement · 28/09/2023 11:57

I'd message her to find out what tf she's playing at.

Lauryn95 · 28/09/2023 12:07

IAmAnIdiot123 · 28/09/2023 11:52

Has it come up as a memory? I have a few friends husbands on fb (I know them though) and I love react most of their posts but they are usually pics of the whole family, tbh i never really see which one of the couple has posted, just see a nice pic and love react it.

No it's not even come up as a memory she posted it for the first time yesterday, funnily she doesn't react to any family stuff ,I'm the same like I will react to other people's posts of success or family pics because I love it for them but It would be people I actually know and it wouldn't just be the husband's selfies or posts about him playing sunday league footy it'd be like family stuff and announcements and things.

OP posts:
KookyAndSpooky · 28/09/2023 12:17

Is your DH good-looking? My guess is that she's a nutty type that had a fight with her DH and she's shared this photo to wind him up. Maybe he 'likes' random girls photos on social or he's been chatting to a girl online. Who knows. She probably went through all her old photos and dug out one to post. If you know your DH hasn't seen her in a long while then I wouldn't be that concerned.

It's all guesswork. We don't know these people either.

Dumbles · 28/09/2023 12:22

I would message her and ask the situation. Obviously you should be able to trust your hubby but unless he can prove it’s a pic from ages ago it feels a bit odd

Rachaelrachael · 28/09/2023 12:23

I'd message her. Very strange behaviour!

Screwballs · 28/09/2023 12:24

Dumbles · 28/09/2023 12:22

I would message her and ask the situation. Obviously you should be able to trust your hubby but unless he can prove it’s a pic from ages ago it feels a bit odd

This is absolutely one way to look bat shit crazy. Do not do this OP.

I think you are overreacting personally. You either trust your partner or you dont.

Lauryn95 · 28/09/2023 12:28

He is good looking, people always try it on with him ,even when he's in the bar talking to me while I'm at work lol ,if that was the case though wouldn't he be like oh that's weird not commenting back to her like this was so fun we should do it again ,Idk

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 28/09/2023 12:30

You're right to be pissed off, but I don't think your husband has done anything wrong. It's clearly her with the issues.

Maddy70 · 28/09/2023 13:05

Lauryn95 · 28/09/2023 11:46

Yeah it says married and her profile picture is her in a wedding dress ,that's what I mean I find that odd behaviour to just randomly decide to post that with just hearts around it from 2 years ago ,if they were close I'd maybe understand but he says he doesn't even know her, said he met her briefly for a couple mins when that picture was taken ,idk my gut says he's lying because I just think that's super bizarre if what he's saying is true

Has this come up on her Facebook memories?

I wouldn't read too much into it tbh. Sounds like they saw each other at a gig and took a selfie

Dumbles · 28/09/2023 13:06

Screwballs · 28/09/2023 12:24

This is absolutely one way to look bat shit crazy. Do not do this OP.

I think you are overreacting personally. You either trust your partner or you dont.

😂😂😂

if someone put up a photo of them and my partner with love hearts as the caption I wouldn’t be too concerned about looking bat shit crazy. I would just want to know the situation.

’Hi, sorry to message you out the blue. I notice you put up a picture of my husband with some hearts the other day - it seemed a bit of an odd thing to do so just wanted to double check it was as friends? I thought nothing of it but a few of my friends have commented now asking what it’s about!’

Or could always blame the pregnancy hormones!

smallshinybutton · 28/09/2023 13:08

Dumbles · 28/09/2023 13:06

😂😂😂

if someone put up a photo of them and my partner with love hearts as the caption I wouldn’t be too concerned about looking bat shit crazy. I would just want to know the situation.

’Hi, sorry to message you out the blue. I notice you put up a picture of my husband with some hearts the other day - it seemed a bit of an odd thing to do so just wanted to double check it was as friends? I thought nothing of it but a few of my friends have commented now asking what it’s about!’

Or could always blame the pregnancy hormones!

That's a ridiculous way to ask if someone is shagging your partner

Dumbles · 28/09/2023 13:09

smallshinybutton · 28/09/2023 13:08

That's a ridiculous way to ask if someone is shagging your partner

What would you suggest?

smallshinybutton · 28/09/2023 13:11

Dumbles · 28/09/2023 13:09

What would you suggest?

’Hi, sorry to message you out the blue. I notice you put up a picture of my husband with some hearts the other day - it seemed a bit of an odd thing to do so just wanted to double check it was as friends? I thought nothing of it but a few of my friends have commented now asking what it’s about!’ has he been seeing you behind my back?

INeedAnotherName · 28/09/2023 13:15

It's not your hormones OP. There's something definitely a bit odd about it.

Just message the woman and ask how she knows your husband and take it from there. Your husband is being too laid back rather than curious or annoyed about the hearts.

Lauryn95 · 28/09/2023 13:20

I would never message her incase I got the wrong end of the stick plus if it was so ,she'd probably just lie anyway ,don't know what I am gonna do because it's super weirding me out but I know I won't message the woman

OP posts:
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