I'm going through a hard time at the minute so I apologise if this is mostly me venting, but I do want some advice on whether I'm being fair or not. My relationship with my husband isn't working out and I have a baby. I live next door to my mum and dad and my mum doesn't work. When I was pregnant, she promised that she'd help me, give me support, etc, etc, but so far she hasn't helped at all with the baby, even though matters have been complicated since with my marriage failing. She will have my oldest children happily because she doesn't have to do anything with them; she can lie down and just let them do as they please, but she won't have the baby because he's harder work.
I'm struggling with the baby atm. I think I might be starting with a bit of PND so I've made a doctors' appointment. She knows I'm struggling and feeling overwhelmed with the baby and my marriage but she won't even ask me if I'm okay or give me a hug, let alone take the baby for a minute so I can breathe. He's going through a clingy phase and it is hard. Three times in the past week she's walked past me - either at her house or mine - as I've been sat crying and hasn't said a word to me. Each time I've been really upset and asked her to have him she's told me she'll have him if she can take him out in his pram, but by the time I ask her I'm too overwhelmed to get it out of the car, build it, wheel it through my house, fight it through the back garden to get to her house, and get him ready so that she can take him out. I just want her to hold him for a bit but she won't and when I say no to the pram she says 'well, I offered' and that's the end of it.
Today it's come to a head because I was upset this morning - crying on my sofa with the baby crying again (he's non stop atm) - and she came into my house to use my prep machine to make milk for her dogs' puppies and said nothing to me. My kitchen and front room are connected so she definitely saw me and heard, but she just walked out when she was done like it was all fine. It's come to a head now because I yelled at her that I'm fed up of her just walking past me when I'm sad and I need her to be a mum and help me but her response was that she isn't listening because I'm shouting at her and she just left. She also keeps saying that she shouldn't have to help because she's had her kids and me having a 3rd baby was my choice, which is why I think I might be in unreasonable, but it's all about her being a babysitter; I'd just like her to ask how I am and have a conversation with me. Atm whenever we talk it's about her. if I say I feel down she says 'everyone does'. My husband's granddad died recently and I saw his body. I don't deal with seeing the dead very well, as she knows, but she hasn't even asked me how it's affected my current mindset and if I'm okay with it. She's jsut gone on about how hard it is for her when she hears about his passing because it reminds her of her mum going. Literally no thought is given to me and I'm sick of it but I don't know if i'm just being selfish. Am I?
Thanks if you got this far x