Mum went abroad for 3 months earlier this year. She didn’t need to go, it wasn’t for work or anything she just wanted to go.
At home she left 2 cats.
One is very laid back, spends most of the day sleeping and you can literally step on him and he’ll just sit there obviously I’m not advocating doing that but if it happens accidentally he literally just lies there looking at you as if to say “You’ll have to move not me”
The other is very younger and very very shy but loved my mum before she went, mum would talk about them sharing a bed or her handing feeding this cat.
I looked after the cats while she was away. Visiting twice a day.
For the first 4 weeks I didn’t see the younger cat at all. I knew she was okish as both food bowls where always empty and they had two litter trays with different kinds of litter in and the tray with younger cats preferred litter in was used – as was the other tray.
From about week 4/5 I’d see the younger cat in the corner of my eye, she’d run from under a bed or cabinet to another bed or cabinet, but as soon as I turned around she’d be gone.
By week 6 she was starting to come out but wouldn’t let me near her she’d watch me from under a cabinet or bed but disappear as soon as I got to close – which was fine, I was just pleased she was starting to accept me.
On week 9 the cat started to get closer to me but would still run and hide if I turned round a bit too quickly.
It was only in the very final weeks (week 12ish) did I actually get close enough to the cat for her to brush against me, but she still won’t let me actually touch her.
This was fine, all I cared about was her being fed and settled in her own home.
My DD has never seen the younger cat in person still just in pictures as the cat still hides when she’s there, which is also fine. She’d be with me for some visits and we’d only see older male cat.
Now to the issue.
My mums been home 4 weeks and younger cat is still hiding from her. She says she hears both cats at night but if she gets up to use the toilet she only sees the male.
The cats get on fine probably because the male cats basically horizontal.
She’s upset that younger cat hasn’t been to see her since she got home and is not considering rehoming her. She says that I should take the female cat as she obviously likes me and will settle with me.
But I don’t want to. I like cats, I’ve had my own cats before, but if I was going to take any of mums cats it’d be the older male because my DD likes him, played with him on her visits with me and he’s basically the type of cat I’ve had before. But I don’t really want a cat. I looked after hers so she could go abroad not because I want my own.
Mum says IABU though and I should just take her. I think she should give it longer given it took nearly the entire 3 months for said cat to come anywhere near me.
WIBU me or mum? Should I just take the cat and go through the whole process again in my home while also being a single parent to my DD?