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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have money left over at the end of the month?

103 replies

hopeitneverends · 26/09/2023 20:48

Today I bought two coffees from Starbucks for me and my colleague/friend.

Another colleague remarked “two coffees before payday?” It cost me £7. Aibu to think it’s a weird remark?

OP posts:
MustGetOutofBed · 27/09/2023 08:00

I think it was a bitchy comment designed to make you feel bad.
Yes some people don't have a penny to spare one week after payday, but guess what? Lots of other people do. Why is it OK to comment on the fact that op can afford 2 coffees, but not OK to comment that coworker can't?

TooOldForThisNonsense · 27/09/2023 08:21

Dotcheck · 26/09/2023 23:00

Maybe they don’t have a choice?

Show quote history

Maybe not, when my kids were small I lived in my overdraft but I knew people who had plenty of money for treats and talked about it, I wouldn’t have made snarky comments to them though. It’s not the OP’s fault she’s got some money and they’re skint.

TrashedSofa · 27/09/2023 08:23

People can get quite strange about other people's money.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 27/09/2023 08:27

I used to work with someone who, every pay day, said "I haven't spent last months yet!"

tennine · 27/09/2023 08:41

I used to work with someone who made similar passive aggressive comments about people. I was quite close with her out of work for a time but had to pull back when I realised she was basically a bitch behind my back too. It wasn't just about money but she would regularly comment 'where is she getting all the money from?' if she got wind of another staff member buying or doing something nice. She would always dig down about how hard it was managing (her DH also worked FT) and was totally unaware that a great portion of their income was spent on smoking. They were going through 60 a day roughly between the 2 of them and had seemingly no awareness that this was the reason they had little free money.

It's really weird to comment about someone buying coffee.

Onthegrid · 27/09/2023 08:48

Weird comment, in my office they all talk about payday, CoL etc, but then we have people with very different circumstances, and to an extent salaries.
I keep out of the 'banter' as much as possible as I know that I am in a much more comfortable position than my team, and I would never pass judgement on anyones coffee or lunch buying habits

MikeRafone · 27/09/2023 08:54

The colleague may be the type that come the end of the month, hasn’t got any money left and is bad at budgeting or maybe not flush for money

or they think you aren’t capable of budgeting and are surprised you have money left on the last week of the minth

ginandtonicwithlimes · 27/09/2023 09:16

MikeRafone · 27/09/2023 08:54

The colleague may be the type that come the end of the month, hasn’t got any money left and is bad at budgeting or maybe not flush for money

or they think you aren’t capable of budgeting and are surprised you have money left on the last week of the minth

Should have said nothing though. I have several colleagues that seem to be able to afford annual holidays abroad despite being single and on UC. I wouldn't say anything though. It is none of my business.

BananaPalm · 27/09/2023 09:20

I probably wouldn't have understood the comment and just stared at them blankly 🤣🙈

usernother · 27/09/2023 09:31

In my office I was always amazed at people who didn't realise when it was payday. I was always counting down the days and trying not to go overdrawn before it. Perhaps the person who commented is as hard up as I was.

honeylulu · 27/09/2023 09:33

A lot of people do spend all their salary every month, sometimes out of necessity but a lot of the time it's just because it's what they have always done and "money is for spending". (Husband, I'm looking at you!) So in the last few days of the month there isn't much left.

It's alien to me because I'm naturally frugal and my spending is always spread evenly throughout the month and these days some left which gets moved to savings when it builds up. Splurging most of my salary in the first half of the month would make me feel really panicked. But everyone is different. My husband says he loves the "I'm rich" feeling of the salary landing and enjoys a bit of mindless frittering.

I don't think it's necessarily a rude comment. It's either banter/ one of the things people say or the person assumes we are similar to them in spending habits!

Ienjoyedthebarbiemovie · 27/09/2023 09:34

@NeverDropYourMooncup

yes, summed up the whole thread, thank you 😊

Ladyoftheknight · 27/09/2023 09:43

People who make comments about those of us who have money can't take any comments back. I wouldn't say "In your overdraft a day after payday?" or "Surely even you can afford 2 coffees?" so why do they say snarky comments to us?

FawltyTower · 27/09/2023 10:05

So much projection and indignation on this thread over what was a fairly bland comment.

It was Starbucks. Takeaway coffee. Lots of jokes and memes flying round about saving your coffee money to pay your mortgage due to CoL and that kind of thing.

I read it as a joke and would probably have replied with 'I know right, beans on toast now for the rest of the month!'. I don't think it gives any indication of the finances of the commenter at all.

Someone in work made a comment about putting her heating on last week. She was immediately met with 'ooh look at Miss Moneybags here, heating on in September!'. It was a joke, not a dig. It's topical, it made us all chuckle (rich and poor alike!)

jonesysy · 27/09/2023 10:07

My old boss when I was just starting work used to refuse to buy the first round in the pub on a Friday because, despite earning more than us, he had his kids in private school and so claimed to be poorer than us.

People on here like to virtue signal about knowing hardship but its fair game to call them out as frauds. If you spend all your spare money on starbucks in the first half of the month and then make snarky comments about others buying theirs in the second half and double down claiming that they don't know what its like to be poor then you're clueless

Luckydip1 · 27/09/2023 10:08

Having money left over at the end of the month means you are no longer living paycheck to paycheck, good for you.

tennine · 27/09/2023 10:42

FawltyTower · 27/09/2023 10:05

So much projection and indignation on this thread over what was a fairly bland comment.

It was Starbucks. Takeaway coffee. Lots of jokes and memes flying round about saving your coffee money to pay your mortgage due to CoL and that kind of thing.

I read it as a joke and would probably have replied with 'I know right, beans on toast now for the rest of the month!'. I don't think it gives any indication of the finances of the commenter at all.

Someone in work made a comment about putting her heating on last week. She was immediately met with 'ooh look at Miss Moneybags here, heating on in September!'. It was a joke, not a dig. It's topical, it made us all chuckle (rich and poor alike!)

Probably the autism but i juts don't find these things at all funny. Office banter or some shit they call it while really it's just an excuse to make nasty comments.

I don't understand why it's funny to call someone names because they put their heating on or bought a coffee.

Jokes my arse, it's passive aggressive bullshit.

Tartareistasty · 27/09/2023 10:43

@tennine it's not you. It's not funny

Seagrassbasket · 27/09/2023 10:43

I’d think it was a bit of an odd comment really. Just not something to be mentioned

FawltyTower · 27/09/2023 10:45

Probably the autism but i juts don't find these things at all funny. Office banter or some shit they call it while really it's just an excuse to make nasty comments. I don't understand why it's funny to call someone names because they put their heating on or bought a coffee. Jokes my arse, it's passive aggressive bullshit

Well I'm glad I don't have your view. Living to be offended must be exhausting.

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 27/09/2023 11:17

The tone can be "I've no money left 3 days before payday, so how come you have?"

As mentioned above, even if you are living paycheck to paycheck, some people spend their £20 coffee budget in week 1 and some spend £5 a week. Some people do a massive payday supermarket order week 1 and top up, some do the same weekly shop 4 times. I think it's mean to make people who spread treats through the month feel self-conscious.

Bumblepig · 27/09/2023 11:26

@tennine I’m really confused here, what names were called exactly. There was no name calling at all?

tennine · 27/09/2023 11:56

Bumblepig · 27/09/2023 11:26

@tennine I’m really confused here, what names were called exactly. There was no name calling at all?

I think calling someone 'miss moneybags' will be what I was referring to. Anything else is implied, by the poster, and myself. Miss moneybags is an example the poster used of how they 'joke'

tennine · 27/09/2023 11:57

FawltyTower · 27/09/2023 10:45

Probably the autism but i juts don't find these things at all funny. Office banter or some shit they call it while really it's just an excuse to make nasty comments. I don't understand why it's funny to call someone names because they put their heating on or bought a coffee. Jokes my arse, it's passive aggressive bullshit

Well I'm glad I don't have your view. Living to be offended must be exhausting.

I don't live to be offended ffs.

Ponoka7 · 27/09/2023 12:00

givemeasunnyday · 27/09/2023 06:44

Totally off the point, but how on earth do you all manage on monthly pay? It's not common in my country and I would hate it.

It was a slow cross over from weekly, it went to fortnightly and eventually monthly. All bills are on a monthly amount, so you've just got to budget. Some jobs still pay weekly and fortnightly, they tend to be warehousing, discount retail and agency.

I never understood the spending after being paid. My next door neighbour used to go to the ice-cream van and spend the equivalent of going to B&M for treats for a week. She'd be lending toilet roll, sugar etc and small amounts of cash come the few days before pay day.