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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have money left over at the end of the month?

103 replies

hopeitneverends · 26/09/2023 20:48

Today I bought two coffees from Starbucks for me and my colleague/friend.

Another colleague remarked “two coffees before payday?” It cost me £7. Aibu to think it’s a weird remark?

OP posts:
TooOldForThisNonsense · 26/09/2023 22:11

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 26/09/2023 21:11

Personally I think your colleague is being a bit judgy and not very nice. Yes lots of people are struggling, but that's not an excuse to make comments on how other people spend their money. If it's a good friend having a joke that's different, but you've said it's not so really it's just plain rude.

This

your colleague sounds like a twat. It’s rude to comment on what people are buying.

Finteq · 26/09/2023 22:11

It would have confused me.

Does that mean you are only allowed takeout coffee at the start of the month?

Or if someone gets a takeout a few days before pay day ppeople will judge them. But if its a few days after pay day no one will bat an eyelid.?

determinedtomakethiswork · 26/09/2023 22:13

But surely everyone is in a different situation? Someone might be single and responsible for all bills. Someone else might be married with both people working. Someone else might be the only employed person in the household etc.

ViaRia01 · 26/09/2023 22:14

Of course that’s a strange comment to make. Perfectly fine if your colleague thought that to themselves when you strolled in with coffees but to say it out loud to your face …. Even if it was supposed to be lighthearted, what did they expect you to say to say??!

CardamomGarden · 26/09/2023 22:15

If they don’t usually come across as ‘the bantering type’, could you have missed that this was an attempt at humour that has just fallen flat?

It sounds like precisely the kind of weak joke that is made by someone who wants to be funny and tease you in a friendly way but isn’t well practiced in those sorts of interactions. As a serious comment I agree it would be rather odd!

TheMurderousGoose · 26/09/2023 22:15

have you been stewing over this all day, OP?

ginandtonicwithlimes · 26/09/2023 22:16

Sounds jealous.

EddieHowesShithousingMags · 26/09/2023 22:18

There’s some joyless humourless folk here. No one crack a joke about it being a long month at work? No one say it’s beans on toast for the rest of the month if you make a mildly extravagant purchase? No one ever laughingly remark ‘someone’s doing well for himself’ if they buy a pudding after a main course?

It’s just banter and craic. No one is actually surprised that you can afford it!

bridgetreilly · 26/09/2023 22:24

It is not a comment that requires analysing by you or anyone else.

Nepmarthiturn · 26/09/2023 22:26

hopeitneverends · 26/09/2023 20:48

Today I bought two coffees from Starbucks for me and my colleague/friend.

Another colleague remarked “two coffees before payday?” It cost me £7. Aibu to think it’s a weird remark?

Yes. Very weird and rude as well. Inappropriate to make a comment on a colleague's financial situation. Does this person have form for such inappropriate behaviour?

morag1234 · 26/09/2023 22:28

It's not a weird remark at all.

I say things like this in work all the time. It's just a (half) joke. In fact, I said it today and it's because I have £1 in my bank until Friday 🤣.

If anyone else said that to me, I would just laugh. I wouldn't even think twice about it.

Noodlehen · 26/09/2023 22:32

Why is this an AIBU? Are you asking if you’re unreasonable to have £7 spare before payday?
or are you trying to brag that you can afford to buy someone a coffee? I’m sure that’s not it but this is a very strange post 🤣

ginandtonicwithlimes · 26/09/2023 22:34

bridgetreilly · 26/09/2023 22:24

It is not a comment that requires analysing by you or anyone else.

Other than it is a bit of a nasty one?

Whaintheworld · 26/09/2023 22:36

Next time just say, oooh when is pay day again?

Ienjoyedthebarbiemovie · 26/09/2023 22:36

@WillowCraft

well i can afford treats, hence I’ve (after making sure essentials were paid) have had a few treats throughout the month, the last one purchased yesterday. Sometimes extra things come up that I hadn’t put money aside for. (A Christmas event that was selling out fast)

I’m living perfectly within my means, have paid all essential bills, have put some money aside for savings and have a little bit left, not much though.

It doesn’t mean I can’t look forward to pay day!!!

Ozziedream · 26/09/2023 22:37

In the 30 years Ive been working I can’t imagine being in a position where I had to watch spending £7 before pay day. £700 yes but not £7. Yes I’m obviously privileged but given it’s a work scenario and you all have jobs yes I do think it’s off/weird/rude.

Bumblepig · 26/09/2023 22:43

@Ozziedream

Yes obviously you are privileged. Very fortunate not have to worry about this. Some of us do, and circumstances change even more so recently with the COL hikes and job losses due to factors beyond our control

Bumblepig · 26/09/2023 22:45

@ginandtonicwithlimes

its not nasty! Goodness, my mind boggles over taking offence at a remark like this.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 26/09/2023 22:46

Bumblepig · 26/09/2023 22:45

@ginandtonicwithlimes

its not nasty! Goodness, my mind boggles over taking offence at a remark like this.

What else is it then? Seems a bit mean spirited to comment on what OP buys?

EddieHowesShithousingMags · 26/09/2023 22:47

ginandtonicwithlimes · 26/09/2023 22:46

What else is it then? Seems a bit mean spirited to comment on what OP buys?

Show quote history

A JOKE!!

autumnpleasestay · 26/09/2023 22:53

This is a cultural thing I've never really gotten. My parents weren't well-off, but I never heard comments about the approach of pay day. They lived within their means, which meant few extravagances, but also fewer 'oh no, we're out of money until pay day' moments.

As an adult, I've never had to worry about making a purchase because of the time of the month. If I can afford it, I can afford it at any time during the month; if it's out of my budget, that doesn't change with the date (unless I've been given some splurge money for birthday, Christmas, etc.). I suppose these jokes aren't amusing or relevant for me, much like the 'wine o'clock' brand of humour.

I'd still smile or laugh politely while privately thinking it's strange.

Bumblepig · 26/09/2023 22:57
I Dont Get It Over My Head GIF by Lil Jon

@ginandtonicwithlimes yes, as @EddieHowesShithousingMags states it is a joke 🙄😂

gogomoto · 26/09/2023 22:58

I find it a weird remark, I'd never run my finances so low as to not be able to spend £7 the week before payday

Dotcheck · 26/09/2023 22:59

WillowCraft · 26/09/2023 21:16

I think it's a strange remark. Not everyone manages their finances by spending it all on luxuries at the beginning of the month leaving nothing for the end.

Ffs
Ir perhaps they spend it on living, and they have nothing left by the last week.

Dotcheck · 26/09/2023 23:00

gogomoto · 26/09/2023 22:58

I find it a weird remark, I'd never run my finances so low as to not be able to spend £7 the week before payday

Maybe they don’t have a choice?