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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Desperately need some advice: daughter so unwell

167 replies

VirusSchmirus · 26/09/2023 17:52

I'm really hoping someone can help or at least provide reassurance.

My DD11 is now at week 3 of having severe stomach pains, so much so she cannot walk without help or sit upright. She is eating and drinking relatively OK.

The pain means she has pain relief every 4 hours, paracetamol and ibuprofen on rotation. She is asking for pain relief an hour after the last dose. It does very little to make her comfortable. I have tried to entice her to do things - and even the bribe of visiting her favourite shop and buying a treat (which would involve very little walking, just from the car park) resulted in her crying "I can't, I can't walk with the pain". At night when she eventually manages to sleep she cries or whimpers in her sleep. We're awake continually due to the pain.

She has had 2 ultrasound scans (no appendicitis or anything sinister) - they say her lymph glands in her stomach are inflamed (but only 1). Been told its mesenteric adenitis.

Have had private GP assess her. The bar seems low - if she can eat, drink and poo then she is deemed "clinically well". Saw another GP last night after she suffered a day of diarrhoea (new symptom). I ended up crying - which probably wasn't helpful - after we just went around in circles. Scan is clear, bloods are relatively clear (low markers but expected with a virus), urine test clear. Tilted head from GP yesterday "what would you like me to say or do".

My gorgeous daughter, who is usually so full of energy and laughter and endless bloody questions, is silent, and I can see her getting thinner and thinner, and more miserable. I feel like I'm one of those mothers who is making things up as I just can't seem to get answers (main question - when will she start to just feel better - not even get well, just a tiny bit better?). No one seems able to answer.

What can I do? Is mesenteric adenitis really like this - no improvement at all for 3 weeks?

AIBU: its just a virus, suck it up
YANBU: that's bonkers, go kick some clinical ass

OP posts:
MagnificentDelurker · 26/09/2023 17:57

Hi

I have no advice just did not want to read and run. I am so sorry you and your daughter going through this.

Please keep advocating for her the doctors don’t always listen properly and sometimes you might need to keep reading and researching and arm yourself with knowledge.

Hoping someone with medical knowledge will come and have more useful information.

BettyPhuckzer · 26/09/2023 18:05

I think you are very reasonable to want answers xxx

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 18:12

She is eating and drinking relatively OK.

despite stomach pains so bad that she can’t sit up?

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 18:12

Ibuprofen with a stomach issue??!

Jackydaytona · 26/09/2023 18:14

Eating... but stomach pain so bad she can't walk?

Agree ibuprofen not great for stomach issues...maybe try soluble co codamol?

Has she started her periods yet?

Jackydaytona · 26/09/2023 18:15

Has she tried heat packs?

Bowels normal? Urine dip normal?

TeaKitten · 26/09/2023 18:15

Have they ruled out anything puberty related? Why’s she loosing so much weight if she’s eating? Has she just started high school?

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 18:23

Is she happy at school? Just started secondary or year 6?

itsgettingweird · 26/09/2023 18:23

Could it be anxiety? School related?

Sounds like, it started just after term started?

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 18:25

and I can see her getting thinner and thinner,

she is eating and drinking normally
She is doing very very little activity

I can’t understand how she’s doubled up whimpering with pain but still able to eat normally but also getting “thinner and thinner”

MermaidEyes · 26/09/2023 18:25

Is it definitely stomach and not bowels related, like IBS/IBD? How is she managing at school every day if she's in such pain? I also agree Ibuprofen isn't great if you have stomach inflammation.

Nuttyroche · 26/09/2023 18:25

itsgettingweird · 26/09/2023 18:23

Could it be anxiety? School related?

Sounds like, it started just after term started?

This. So if it’s been 3 weeks.. that pretty much coincides with day 1 of the new school year

WhatAPalaverer · 26/09/2023 18:28

Have they tested her blood sugar? I’d want type 1 diabetes ruling out esp with the weight loss.

Anyonebut · 26/09/2023 18:29

On a different recent thread one or even 2 people said their child had been diagnosed with Mesenteric Adenitis that then turned out to be coeliac disease.

Elisheva · 26/09/2023 18:30

Could it be IBS? The pain can be crippling. Could you try an anti spasmodic to see if it helps at all?

TheMarzipanDildo · 26/09/2023 18:32

I would be worried about something like coeliacs

VirusSchmirus · 26/09/2023 18:32

Thanks for all your replies and questions.

She came down with D&V the day after starting high school. This is without question or doubt, trust me as I am the main bathroom cleaner. She made a full recovery as expected, and returned to school. This is why they think MA is the cause as this can happen after a virus.

She loves her new school, has a great cohort of friends, and has always enjoyed learning. Have spoken to her new teachers and they said she had really enjoyed her first day. No concerns on this front.

The stomach pain is due to inflamed glands. She can eat, but afterwards this causes a lot of pain. She is losing weight slowly as she doesn't eat as much. She's also super active usually - attending lots of clubs that she loves - but cannot attend at the moment. This is not something that switches on/off depending on the situation.

She has always been a super active, happy and healthy child. She doesn't usually do "ill".

Her temperature goes up and down periodically. Diarrhoea yesterday was a new symptom, and again very real.

No periods.
Not Covid.
Ibuprofen - good call and exactly what I said when told to take it - but apparently its to reduce the inflammation seen on the scan.

OP posts:
VirusSchmirus · 26/09/2023 18:34

And worryingly, she is not in school. Either she's turned into a fabulous actor, or she's in terrible pain most of time, made worse by sitting, and much worse by standing.

She's totally hyperactive most of the time - we used to play football or crazy ball games together after school every evening because she had so much energy.

OP posts:
sewonandsewon · 26/09/2023 18:35

My daughter has almost the exact symptoms and medical response when she was about 10. The GP kept sending us back to a+e, they, rightly, weren't very impressed and her bloods kept coming back clear. Finally we were referred and she was diagnosed with IBS. Painkillers did not touch it at all, but as soon as she took antispasmodics (in her case it was Colofac/mebeverine) it made a huge difference. She also because vegetarian, which in the longer term has also helped. By cutting out fatty processed stuff (takeaway pizza was the worst) and taking the Colofac, she rarely has a flare up now and it's no where near what it was originally. I thought it was going mad when I couldn't get anyone to tell me what the problem was, especially when she was moaning with the pain in her sleep, you have my sympathies!

VirusSchmirus · 26/09/2023 18:35

Coeliacs been tested for along with thyroid too. Both negative.

Thanks for all the replies though, any ideas or suggestions right now are needed.

OP posts:
HairyKitty · 26/09/2023 18:35

We’ve have had exactly this with the same diagnosis. The pain is indescribable, writhing and rolling around etc. There was no treatment but it did subside, I can’t quite remember how long but definitely more than 2 weeks. Was checked for appendicitis in hospital.

VirusSchmirus · 26/09/2023 18:36

Gosh I'm drip feeding - but she does have dairy intolerances. We know how to manage this, and the symptoms are not the same.

OP posts:
VirusSchmirus · 26/09/2023 18:37

Covid negative. No other tummy bugs amongst her friends. The household have been fit and well from before and during this.

OP posts:
MansfieldLark · 26/09/2023 18:37

Ibuprofen for stomach pain 🤔?