People shortening your child's name

[Dramatic]

I've just seen a comment on another social media platform where a mum said she screamed at another child for shortening her son's name from Jackson to Jack (she was being deadly serious too)

Was she reasonable? Unreasonable? Do you think parents should have absolute control over what nicknames other people call their children? (Within reason of course) Or should it be expected that if you give a child a name like William they will become Will to their friends?

If something like that makes her scream then the woman needs help. That poor child

The staff at my DC’s nursery shorten his name horribly (think along the lines of Gaz) but I don’t say anything. Just die a bit inside instead.

control thats the word ,how controlling do you want to be over your child's life.Is control more important than their happiness .You cant control everything

Of course she was unreasonable for screaming at a child regardless of the circumstances.

A parent can call their child whatever they want, realistically when the child gets older and goes out into the world on their own they have no control over what name other people use, particularly friends.

Unnecessary to scream.
my oldest sometimes has his name shortened, along the lines of William to Will and he doesn’t like it. He knows his own mind.
Ive taught him how to correct people politely.

I live in Wales, I'm pretty sure it's the actual law to shorten everyone's name.

When choosing names it’s very prudent to think that shortening of the name is inevitable. So if you name him Thomas someone WILL start to call him Tom.

So YANBU

I loved Christian as a boy’s name for DS but didn’t like Chris so didn’t bother

I'm sure Matthew McConaughey once said that his mother slapped him for answering to Matt once. It's how he always knew he was never allowed to shorten his name. to me, thats absolutely insane and crazy

Think most names will be shortened you can’t police it, and you should consider it when you pick a name. It you hate the name Char or Lotte don’t call your child Charlotte.

I'd say it was up to the child. They may prefer it. If they had an issue and came to you about it, I'd explain to the adult why they should stop. Screaming at someone is really weird. She must have been having a moment.

There’s some names that are just always going to be shortened by some people, and I think you need to accept that if you choose one of them for your dc.

I named DS William knowing that he could in later life go by Will, Bill, Billy or Liam and there would be little I could do about it.

Same as names like Benjamin, Christopher or Alexander- the shortenings are so common they’re almost expected.

we thought Lee and Dean wouldn't be shortened but Lee is Epo and Dean is Deano to their mates!

Completely unreasonable. Once kids can talk they shorten their own names!

Scream no but correct and expect that to be followed absolutely.

I dont get the obsession with shortening names.

Before anyone says anything it is absolutely possible to politely state. Actually it's Jackson not Jack ..

I have 2 children. With names commonly shortened they are both known by their full name as this is their preference. I have never needed to shout a correction.

I think name shortening is obviously going to happen when the shortened name is the first syllable, it’s just easy to finish at the first syllable when talking like William/will, Samuel/Sam, Christopher/Chris, Daniel/Dan.

Much less easy to shorten with different words for nicknames Alexander/Sacha, James/Jim, Joseph/Jos, these have to be worked at.

She shouldn’t have called her child Jackson if she didn’t want Jack imo.

I always have corrected those who shortened my dd's name. Her name is the long version.. She prefers that. And obviously I do as I chose it. She asked me during school years to correct her teachers on her behalf sometimes..... The name you registered isn't free for all for ransoms to change it...

I deliberately chose a name for dd that I liked the shortening of, I don't think anyone does it to be rude it just comes naturally with familiarity, almost as a sort of term of endearment. I wouldn't do it if someone let me know they didn't want me to though.

Screaming at a child is obviously never ok.

I did politely correct people who shortened my children’s names. Their names aren’t particularly long and they were too young to have an opinion. They prefer the long versions themselves now and generally correct other children now they’re older. They have nicknames their friends use, but they’re nothing related to their actual names.

So for example pretend my child is called Zachary. He strongly prefers Zachary not Zac, but he’s very happy for his friends to call him a nickname that was derived from a funny moment at a birthday party, let’s say “Pillow”. I call him Zachary, but if he decides at some future point he is happy with or prefers Zac or wants everyone to call him by his middle name Max that’s up to him. I may raise eyebrows if he changes his name to Pillow but ultimately once children can express a view about their name I think you’re fighting a losing battle trying to control it.

This is true. And if your name can’t be shorted you’ll be given a nickname that will stick so hard no one remembers your real name until it’s on your gravestone…

The only way to avoid a name being shortened is to choose one that can't be! And even then someone will change it - my FIL added a new ending to my one syllable name!
I remember meeting a friend of a friend whose son had the same name as my son. They asked my if my DS was officially the longer version (he is) and what he was called on a day to day basis (the shorter version unless he was in trouble). They replied that their DS would always be the longer version. I remember thinking to myself 'good luck with that as he gets older'.

Parents can't police it forever. I do think it's rude of people though to shorten without asking. DS much prefers his full name but is autistic and often can't get the words out to complain. Most adults are good but there are a few teachers every year who shorten it without asking. I do correct them at parents' evening, not because I want "ultimate control" but because he is upset by it and can't fix it himself. If he had chosen the shortening then I'd support him with that... probably.

I named my daughter Rachel as I didn't want it shortening. She's 38 and some people call her Rach. She hates it

It's up to the child as soon as the child is old enough to express a preference.

Parents can't control what a child is called by his friends at school or other times when parents aren't there.

And a person will probably acquire more shortenings/nicknames as they move through life and meet different people. How long do parents expect to control it?

His mother seems to be a bit of a 'character'.

'According to Matthew, when paramedics arrived at his parents' home, his mom refused to allow her husband to be covered. “She kept ripping the sheet off going: 'Uh-uh, I want the world to see why his nickname was Big Jim, don't you cover him,'” he recalled'

Totes normal.

@TheMurderousGoose MM's wife also came out recently and said how his mum was an utter bitch to her for years - literally called her by his ex girlfriends name deliberately, and would undermine her at every possible chance. I think 'abusive' may be more accurate than a bit of a "character!"!