People shortening your child's name

[Dramatic]

I've just seen a comment on another social media platform where a mum said she screamed at another child for shortening her son's name from Jackson to Jack (she was being deadly serious too)

Was she reasonable? Unreasonable? Do you think parents should have absolute control over what nicknames other people call their children? (Within reason of course) Or should it be expected that if you give a child a name like William they will become Will to their friends?

I have a name that has multiple shortenings, as well as a couple of similar names that people mix up. You can't really control what people call you! I used to correct people when I was younger but there isn't really any way to do it without sounding petty, and it's usually awkward. I don't love some of the shortenings, and I really don't like when someone uses a name that's not quite my name but similar, but it just is how it is. I introduce myself with my name and it morphs into something else, I still know they mean me.

She shouldn’t have called her child Jackson if she didn’t want Jack imo

You could have stopped at "she shouldn't have called her child Jackson", @ThroughThickAndThin01

she sounds a delight!

She probably makes a big deal of being an old-fashioned Texan gal as cover for being a total cow.

A child isn't a possession and you can't really control what other people call them - nor can you control what the child chooses to call themselves. It's pretty standard, in most languages and cultures (or certainly most European ones anyway) for names to get shortened and nicknames to be used. Perfectly OK for the person whose name it is to say 'I don't like being called that, I prefer my full name please' but parents need to get over themselves and suck it up.

My parents never called me by the shortened version of my name but they never made a fuss when literally everyone else other people did. However, there was another girl in my class with the same name as me and her mother regularly snapped at other kids (and our teachers) for shortening her name.

Once we started secondary school the girl then insisted on being known only by the shortened version, and still uses the short version now in her late 40s, so I guess her mum's overbearing approach ultimately backfired.

I find the evolution of my shortening interesting. Since zoom and teams were introduced I noticed people are shortening names to the shortest version possible. And it happens to be what I prefer but if it wasn't I'd be annoyed and probably say something. But no I wouldn't scream.

Much less easy to shorten with different words for nicknames Alexander/Sacha, James/Jim, Joseph/Jos, these have to be worked at

The standard shortened version of Joseph is Joe, not Jos. No work required. And the standard short version of Alexander is only Sacha if you're Russian. In England it would Alex (or for the posh, Xander) and in Scotland it might also be Alec or Sandy.

I think things like James/Jim, Henry/Harry, Richard/Dick, Robert/Bob etc were completely standard, work-free nicknames until fairly recently. My grandparents would absolutely have assumed it was normal to call a James 'Jim' or a Robert 'Bob' - they'd never in million years have called a Robert 'Rob', definitely only Bob. It's just a change over time.

I think unreasonable. I go by a nickname. My full name is only used by my mum and work.

I think it's inevitable, people call me by the initial of my first name and I have a one syllable name.

A friend's son is Alexander and I have never heard him called anything else by anyone.

Will depend to some extent to me on whether the child likes the shortened name. I’ve known a Philippa who absolutely loathed being called Pippa, but a teacher carried on using it regardless.

The other way round, someone christened Katie had a teacher who insisted on calling her Catherine, despite being repeatedly told that Katie wasn’t short for anything. In the end she just had to stop answering if the teacher called her Catherine.

If the child doesn’t like it, I’d tell them simply to stop answering to the wrong name.

Other children shortening a name doesn't bother me but teachers and Nursery staff doing it is wrong unless the parent has told them they can.

I have a DD with a name that is unexpectedly shortened, think Rachel to Rach, Sophie to Soph, in fact, more people call her by the shortened name than her full name. I didn't see that coming, but it doesn't really bother me.

Screaming isn't OK. Fine to correct.

Well that’s exactly what I mean. It has to be worked at if you want your Joseph called Jos and not Joe, and your Alexander called Sacha not Alex - you’ve illustrated my point.

silimar to Ireland, my son's name is Irish & it can't be shortened so in essense it gets lenghthened & I have no issues with this, it's a name & once we give our child a name surely it's out there (within reason) for people/family to shorten/lenthen or give a nickname, especially with surnames, I'd step in if he hated being called "such & such" that's different

Bit unhinged yes, mine gets lengthened rather a lot (to the traditional name, his birth name is a nickname for some) and I just ignore it!

I named my DD Isabella, but we have called her Izzy most of her life and her nursery is going to call her that too, even though we have obviously told them her full name. If she wants to change it to Bella, Ella, or even keep her full name later on life, she can do whatever she wants.

Similarly with my name, my parents called me Nicola but I don't really like it, so I shorten it to Nikki. My dad often calls me Nic.

I'm pretty sure most names will be shortened at some point unless you specifically tell others that you name must remain in its full state, or you tell others exactly what you prefer. If you have a name that can't be shorter like Ian, then you just have to love it and live with it 😉

Other children shortening a name doesn't bother me but teachers and Nursery staff doing it is wrong unless the parent has told them they can.

Even if the child doesn't mind, or prefers it?

I had the opposite problem. My eldest hates the full version of his name and will only answer to the shorten version. His school insisted on referring to him as the full version all through reception and he really became quite distressed until I put my foot down (I should add, he’s autistic and only really heard the short version his whole life so I appreciate what’s on paper but I hated seeing upset more).

My baby is Edward and when he's older he can choose to be Ed, Eddie, Ted etc but for now he's Edward. A photographer called him Eddie and instantly corrected herself, I may have automatically made a face but I certainly wouldn't be screaming at anyone over it.

I think anyone who gets upset over a name shortening has not enough to worry about in their life.

I taught a boy once whose name was something similar to Jackson-Oliver. I referred to him as Jackson in an email to his mother. She replied saying I must NEVER shorten her son’s name.

The boy in question didn’t seem to mind. He was also 17 at the time.

She was unreasonable to scream at another child.

In terms of using a shortened version, I'd say that's up to the person who's name it is. DS1 hates the shortened version of his name and corrects people.
DS2 goes by his actual name plus about 3 different shortened versions/nicknames depending on who's talking to him.

Jackson is awful, that’s probably why she shortened it 😂

We're the other way round, our daughter's name is shortened by family and our friends, then she went to nursery and they called her by her full name and then asked me after a few weeks if she was hard of hearing! Nope, I told you when we signed her up that she uses a nickname (which doesn't really sound like her full name, think Elizabeth shortened to Betty) so she wouldn't know to respond to her full name! No matter how many times we've corrected them, they still do it, but at least she's realised they're talking to her now.