People shortening your child's name

[Dramatic]

I've just seen a comment on another social media platform where a mum said she screamed at another child for shortening her son's name from Jackson to Jack (she was being deadly serious too)

Was she reasonable? Unreasonable? Do you think parents should have absolute control over what nicknames other people call their children? (Within reason of course) Or should it be expected that if you give a child a name like William they will become Will to their friends?

My parents tried to police what my sister was known as because they hated people shortening her name. The problem was that my sister didn't hate it. She generally preferred it.

My parents would even correct her friends if they phoned to speak to her and used the shortened version, which made both my sister and I cringe as teenagers!! 😱

It didn't work. She's in her fifties now, like me. She's known by the regular shortened versions of her name. Only our mother still calls her by the full version (my Dad is no longer with us, but he would stubbornly use the long form too).

My parents were always known by shortened versions of their names, never by the full versions. This has been pointed out to them now that we are adults. My mother accepts now that it was a huge double standard and a battle that could simply never be won. Not sure my Dad ever did, though he did eventually learn to keep quiet. 🤣

They were still the same with their grandchildren and were the only ones who called them by their full names, though at least they didn't attempt to correct other people that time around.

Think it depends on if the child is ok with that and/or if the child will answer to it.

My son’s name can be shortened, but no one ever has and he wouldn’t answer to it if someone did because he’s not used to it. I have several nicknames and can identify who it is by what they use. I use a shortened version of my name because I inwardly cringe at the way it is said here in England and reminds me of the way one of the bullies’ I had growing up would pronounce it knowingly wrong.

I wouldn’t shorten Jackson (nor think it’s a bad name) and do think automatically shortening a name without the person’s permission is rude. If someone introduces themselves as xyz, you call them xyz unless they state otherwise. I don’t know why that is hard for some people.

Not really. Only my friend of 43 years shortens my name but not when writing it. I very rarely shorten her name although it is a popular name to be shortened A few patients where I work shorten it and I tolerate it but I pulled up an awful patient when he shortened my name. Everyone else including family call me by my full name.

My aunt loved to tell the story of how my grandparents purposefully gave her a short name to avoid anyone shortening it... only to spend most of her childhood being known by an expanded version of her name. Think Jo called Joey.

Ultimately, nicknames evolve. My name has a few variations. I don' like one in particular and nip that in the bud v v quickly if someone tries to use it. Other versions I largely take, although find that I am more comfortable with long-term friends using the diminutive, rather than newer friends/relative strangers. I certainly never refer to myself by the diminutive version.

Just being picky here, but Alex and Joe are normally the abbreviations for Alexander and Joseph.

James to Jim (or Jimmy) isn't obvious but it's the normal, acceptable nn.

But I agree that Jackson will be shortened to Jack, and there will even be the odd Jacky.

Once a name is given to a child it belongs to them and not their parent. If Jackson chooses to go by Jack at school its not his mums place to 'correct' anyone.
I went to school with Bella, who introduced herself as Bella, was called Bella by teachers and wrote Bella on her work and school books. She never came to birthday parties and told us in juniors it was because her Mum threw away any invitations addressed to Bella as as she wanted her only to be known as Arabella. I thought it was petty when I was 9

nicknames are important social practices; it signals familiarity and closes ness, you nickname your friends and it tells others that you are on the inside etc. we deliberately chose names with nice nickname potential as I think you can't stop it happening

If you pick a name that can be shortened then people will just lengthen it. One of mine has a one syllable name and people lengthen it to a four syllable nickname. It is what it is.

That should say can't be shortened

My family have always referred to me and my siblings with the shortened version of our names, unless we were in trouble then my mum would refer to us by our ' Sunday ' names. Then you knew you were in big trouble 😂
My youngest name has always been shortened, although she often gets referred to by her ' Sunday ' name too.
It once caused a bit of confusion with a new neighbour who thought I had more children than I have because of it.
If someone prefers to have their child called by the name they chose, then they should remind people every time they hear the shortened version being used. You don't need to be nasty or aggressive about it.
Inevitably, names will be shortened though, however much the parents protest, especially when the child gets older and doesn't object themselves to it.

She's being utterly ridiculous. (And horrible for shouting at a child over nothing - poor thing).

Shortening names will happen. You can't really control it even with your own name. And it's often a term of endearment and a way of demonstrating closeness.

My name often gets shortened to something I am not massively keen on. But it's only done by people who know me very well so I take it in the way it's meant.

I have a beautiful name, always loved the full version, and often find when I introduce myself as say Pamela, people will then address me as Pam.

I named my daughter with an equally full name which we both love, and even from toddlerhood I’d encounter people saying “what’s your name then?” She’d answer say “Elizabeth” and they’d say “oh Liz etc.”
ive always encouraged her to say politely “actually I prefer Elizabeth.” That isn’t rude at all and how sad to think she should bend to suit others.

I never ever shorten someone’s name, from a work perspective I’ll always check the email sign off before I reply to what they prefer. To me it’s just good manners, use the full name unless told otherwise.

she screamed at another child for shortening her son's name from Jackson to Jack

She sounds unhinged delightful🙄

Reminds of a family member who named their child Samuel but hated the nickname "Sam". Good luck with that!

Ideally you teach your child how to politely correct anyone who uses a nickname that they don't care for but parents trying to police the use of nicknames need to get over themselves.

If the child is very young and they always call him Jackson, I would follow their lead and also call him Jackson. I would assume that if they wanted his name to be Jack, that's what they would use.

If the child is old enough to have a preference, I'd just go with their preference but again, I wouldn't automatically just start calling him Jack because maybe he prefers Jackson.

Of course, screaming at someone is a ridiculous reaction.

I’ve the opposite problem, I’ve got a Ben and that is what his name is but people have made the assumption it’s short for Benjamin over the years and called him that instead. I just tell them that his name isn’t shortened from Benjamin it is just Ben.

She should have chosen names that you can't shortened. My ex-MIL did this on purpose with her two sons.

If the child doesn't mind that's fine. It's when teachers and Nursery staff do it without checking first that annoys me. My Daughter's name is along the lines of Mary-Jane, the first time her teacher wrote Mary on her reading record i corrected her politely, the second time i was a bit firmer, the third time it was a word with the Head.

"Laura's mother, who disliked this cheapening of names, called her third child May, thinking it would not lend itself to a diminutive; but even in her cradle the child was known as Mayie to the neighbours"

To many people, a short form of a name is an expression of familiarity and affection. One of the 78-year-olds at my church describes his full name as his "Sunday name" - and many people recall that they knew they were in trouble when Mum used their full name.

When I told my dad what we'd named S2, he pulled a face and said "he'll get called [shortform]". I shrugged. And actually, mostly he hasn't (he's 20 now). S1 has one of the names already mentioned that people always shorten. Secondary school teachers spent the first year asking which he preferred, and he'd shrug. I still use the full form (quite apart from anything else, then everyone knows which of the several options I'm referring to) but I don't have any problem when others don't.

Screaming is ridiculous. We're not in chapel.

Yes I know! Hence why it is harder to get shortening’s for names which aren’t the norm!! Such as Jos and Sacha if that’s what you want. If you are happy for your Alexander to be Alex and your Joseph to be Joe then there is no work to do, that’s what they will naturally be called. If you want Jos or Sacha then you will have to work harder for it and make a special point of it.

Jeez, I don’t think I’m making a complicated point 😂

To many people, a short form of a name is an expression of familiarity and affection.

And to many it is rude when they’ve told you what their name is and someone decides to call them something else because it’s what they would prefer to call someone. I think it’s even more rude when there is no type of relationship whatsoever and it would put me off wanting to get to know someone if their first instinct is to disregard the name I have told them.