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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this ok for a wedding?

110 replies

caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 12:47

I've bought a dress from Vinted. I don't want to share the exact dress as the photo is of the dress being worn by the seller and that seems unfair so I've googled and found a very similar one. The one I've bought has slightly more sage green and fewer white spaces.

Is this ok to wear as a wedding guest do you think? Is there too much white? I'd have no concerns wearing it to a wedding of a family member etc because my family are very casual about this stuff but I only know the groom at this wedding so no idea what the general consensus would be from the other guests.

Opinions appreciated. If it's not acceptable I've got a couple of christenings I could wear it to later this year so it's not a loss.

Is this ok for a wedding?
OP posts:
Islandsadness · 26/09/2023 16:44

Woah @ManateeFair what's got you so angry?!

ASCCM · 26/09/2023 16:47

I’d wear black. I wouldn’t wear anything this white or floral to a wedding where I didn’t know the bride.

Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 16:54

ASCCM · 26/09/2023 16:47

I’d wear black. I wouldn’t wear anything this white or floral to a wedding where I didn’t know the bride.

Are you suggesting specifically black because I'd mentioned most of my stuff is black? If so, I can't fit in them right now!

I can order next day delivery from somewhere online if people really think the white is an issue but was hoping not to spend much money so I'll have to have a look. Why would the floral be a problem?

OP posts:
ASCCM · 26/09/2023 16:57

Ah yes sorry!Black is my comfort so I’d pick something from the wardrobe!

if you don’t have anything that fits then I’m sure this will be fine defo don’t spend money you don’t have ; but agree with the cardigan etc being darker and shoes etc

Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 17:03

ASCCM · 26/09/2023 16:57

Ah yes sorry!Black is my comfort so I’d pick something from the wardrobe!

if you don’t have anything that fits then I’m sure this will be fine defo don’t spend money you don’t have ; but agree with the cardigan etc being darker and shoes etc

Black is 100% my comfort zone too!

I can afford to spend the money I think I'm just being stubborn seeing it as a waste considering the dress won't fit me soon, I'm not a dressing up person at all normally so I think I'm just begrudging paying 🤣

OP posts:
Notagains · 26/09/2023 17:06

Purplecatshopaholic · 26/09/2023 15:20

Is it an English thing, this no-white rule? I have only been to weddings in Scotland - many over the years - and worn most colours at one point or other including things that were white/ivory/cream, also black many times. Never ever have I heard it’s an issue…

I think it's a Mumsnet thing. I have never heard it anywhere else. It's extremely odd tbh.
I have absolutely no memory of what colour people wore at my wedding.
I wore a very similar colour dress to the OP my brother's wedding, no one batted an eye.
I don't know anyone who cares in real life people wear a variety of colours none of them are mistaken for the Bride!

Fallingthroughclouds · 26/09/2023 17:10

The white thing didn't even click for me. I see it as a floral/patterned dress rather than a white one.

Cosyblankets · 26/09/2023 17:32

Fallingthroughclouds · 26/09/2023 17:10

The white thing didn't even click for me. I see it as a floral/patterned dress rather than a white one.

That's because it is.
Way too much over analysis going on with some people

smallshinybutton · 26/09/2023 17:35

Islandsadness · 26/09/2023 16:44

Woah @ManateeFair what's got you so angry?!

They really don't like navy or brown 😂

smallshinybutton · 26/09/2023 17:36

caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 16:33

I'm neither going or not going for a particular vibe, I don't mind if it's spring / summery, I'm just bothered that it fits while pregnant and isn't inappropriately white. I've seen plenty of floral dresses on wedding guests this month on Instagram, lots of oranges and pinks too so not entirely sure how many people are fussed about the seasons.

Show quote history

It's the white that makes it spring summery. So yes imo it's too white for an autumn wedding. But no it is not too white for a spring/summer wedding.

GreenEyedGiant · 26/09/2023 17:40

It's absolutely fine for a September wedding OP! I had something similar for a May wedding but ended up not being able to go so it's hanging in my wardrobe with tags on and I can assure you it will be worn to the next wedding regardless of the season!

slithytoveisascientist · 26/09/2023 17:42

First dress too white
Actual dress you've bought is fine

Do you have a coordinating wrap / shrug / cardi? Can we see pics of the final style?

MsFrost · 26/09/2023 17:50

In my circle there would be no issues at all with wearing this to a wedding. No one would bat an eyelid. It's not even fully white.

But it really depends on the people, so if you're worried, maybe check with the bride or someone close to her.

shakeitoffsis · 26/09/2023 17:50

No way!

Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 17:52

MsFrost · 26/09/2023 17:50

In my circle there would be no issues at all with wearing this to a wedding. No one would bat an eyelid. It's not even fully white.

But it really depends on the people, so if you're worried, maybe check with the bride or someone close to her.

I've never met the bride, or her family/friends so Mumsnet was the next best thing haha

OP posts:
Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 17:52

shakeitoffsis · 26/09/2023 17:50

No way!

Why?

OP posts:
smallshinybutton · 26/09/2023 17:54

MsFrost · 26/09/2023 17:50

In my circle there would be no issues at all with wearing this to a wedding. No one would bat an eyelid. It's not even fully white.

But it really depends on the people, so if you're worried, maybe check with the bride or someone close to her.

True maybe it depends on your circle.

MsFrost · 26/09/2023 17:55

caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 17:52

I've never met the bride, or her family/friends so Mumsnet was the next best thing haha

Show quote history

Fair enough. I think in that case I'd put on a colourful necklace/ shoes/ hair accessory/ bag with it to be on the safe side and distract away from the white.

But I would quietly think it was ridiculous if anyone cared about it 😂

Positive41 · 26/09/2023 17:55

There are so many colours- why do people do this?

You wouldn't be asking if you didn't think it might not be appropriate. Find another colour fgs.

MsFrost · 26/09/2023 18:01

Positive41 · 26/09/2023 17:55

There are so many colours- why do people do this?

You wouldn't be asking if you didn't think it might not be appropriate. Find another colour fgs.

I think it would be so petty for anyone to be upset about this. OP is hardly going to be mistaken for the bride (which is the whole reason for not wearing white). This dress is not bridal at all.

No one I know would care at all, but I'd appreciate some people in some circles might care... so I think it's a fair question to ask for opinions online. Only OP can really make a judgement about whether she thinks this particular bride is likely to care.

Sunshineclouds11 · 26/09/2023 18:02

The actual dress you've posted is fine for a wedding!

mrssunshinexxx · 26/09/2023 18:06

Yes I'd wear it, it couldn't be further from a Wedding dress. It's really nice

Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 18:07

Positive41 · 26/09/2023 17:55

There are so many colours- why do people do this?

You wouldn't be asking if you didn't think it might not be appropriate. Find another colour fgs.

Passive aggressive but ok. I think it's appropriate, what worries me is whether other people think it's appropriate. Looking at the replies lots do and lots don't, hence why I asked. I was also shopping for second hand, in a particular size and flowy style so it's not like I had an entire department store to choose from.

OP posts:
DustSalad · 26/09/2023 18:12

From previous similar threads I have learned:

  1. the "no white" is not because you will be mistaken for the bride but so that the bride's dress stands out more in the photos
  2. brides wear white not to signify virginity per pp but because Queen Victoria did.
caringcarer · 26/09/2023 18:14

A nice dress but too white for a wedding. Do they do it in other colours?