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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this ok for a wedding?

110 replies

caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 12:47

I've bought a dress from Vinted. I don't want to share the exact dress as the photo is of the dress being worn by the seller and that seems unfair so I've googled and found a very similar one. The one I've bought has slightly more sage green and fewer white spaces.

Is this ok to wear as a wedding guest do you think? Is there too much white? I'd have no concerns wearing it to a wedding of a family member etc because my family are very casual about this stuff but I only know the groom at this wedding so no idea what the general consensus would be from the other guests.

Opinions appreciated. If it's not acceptable I've got a couple of christenings I could wear it to later this year so it's not a loss.

Is this ok for a wedding?
OP posts:
Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 15:37

NigelHarmansNewWife · 26/09/2023 15:30

Nonsense and it'll be bloody obvious the bride is the one in the middle in the wedding dress.

Honestly sometimes the responses on here are off the scale. The only thing I remember about what guests wore at my wedding is two of them had the exact same dress and matching jacket. Both looked lovely, but I think they avoided each other!

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I'm hoping not to be in any photos 🤣

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Fatpigsinblankets · 26/09/2023 15:38

I’ve worn both black and white dresses to weddings and no-one has given a shit (unless perhaps they were all gossiping about the inappropriately dressed lady over there but I was oblivious to it all if they were!)
Honestly it’s a lovely dress and you will look fab.

Possimpible · 26/09/2023 15:38

Purplecatshopaholic · 26/09/2023 15:20

Is it an English thing, this no-white rule? I have only been to weddings in Scotland - many over the years - and worn most colours at one point or other including things that were white/ivory/cream, also black many times. Never ever have I heard it’s an issue…

It's not a rule so much as etiquette - white/ivory/cream is reserved for the bride, and possibly MoB. Nobody would say it's an issue to your face but you should avoid it. Same as avoiding the same colour as the bridesmaids if you know it.

Baffled1989 · 26/09/2023 15:58

You can def wear this, it doesn’t remotely look like a bridal dress. Lots of old fashioned views on MN

smallshinybutton · 26/09/2023 16:01

caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 13:13

Hopefully this works..

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That's a completely different dress and would be fine if it were a spring wedding.

BMrs · 26/09/2023 16:03

I think it's lovely and would definitely wear it

Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 16:05

smallshinybutton · 26/09/2023 16:01

That's a completely different dress and would be fine if it were a spring wedding.

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They look fairly similar to me. Lilac, sage green with some white space and lots of frills.
Are you saying you don't think it's ok for a September wedding?

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SallyWD · 26/09/2023 16:06

I think it's absolutely fine OP. There's not that much white in it. I've actually just returned from a wedding and several of the guests wore white dresses with patterns on, like pink flowers. No one batted an eyelid.

WasThereAnotherTroyforHertoBurn · 26/09/2023 16:07

I am committing a cardinal sin at a wedding in December, I am wearing a black dress, black wrap, black shoes.

Furryrug · 26/09/2023 16:07

Perfect for a wedding .

Star81 · 26/09/2023 16:07

Are you wearing this later this year to a wedding in the uk ? If so I’d say it’s far too summery for that.

Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 16:08

Star81 · 26/09/2023 16:07

Are you wearing this later this year to a wedding in the uk ? If so I’d say it’s far too summery for that.

Edited

The wedding is this Friday, around 18 degrees forecasted.

OP posts:
OliveToboogie · 26/09/2023 16:11

It's fine. Wear a coloured shall or cardigan over it. Accessories of colour you are sorted.

Star81 · 26/09/2023 16:12

I still think it’s a bit summery , but you’d get away with it for this Friday. It’ll also be cooler in the evening so do you have a jacket for it ?

Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 16:13

Star81 · 26/09/2023 16:12

I still think it’s a bit summery , but you’d get away with it for this Friday. It’ll also be cooler in the evening so do you have a jacket for it ?

I'll have to dig something out of the wardrobe, but I'll find something

OP posts:
smallshinybutton · 26/09/2023 16:14

caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 16:05

They look fairly similar to me. Lilac, sage green with some white space and lots of frills.
Are you saying you don't think it's ok for a September wedding?

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No I don't think it is sorry. I've seen some recent photos of a wedding and all the guests have gone more autumnal.

ManateeFair · 26/09/2023 16:18

It's lovely, and it isn't even remotely bridal. Perfectly wedding appropriate.

Mumsnet is SO weird about wedding attire. In real life I know literally nobody who takes the same 1950s etiquette manual approach to wedding outfits that half of Mumsnet seems to espouse. There are people on Mumsnet who seem to think that you can only attend a wedding if you're dressed like Kate Middleton appearing on the balcony at Buckingham Palace for a royal birthday, all jewel-toned pencil dresses and a matching a-line coat, hat, bag, court shoes and 'nude' tights.

Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 16:19

smallshinybutton · 26/09/2023 16:14

No I don't think it is sorry. I've seen some recent photos of a wedding and all the guests have gone more autumnal.

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Well everyone's entitled to their opinion, I'm not fussed that it's summery, just wanted to make sure it wasn't inappropriate with the white.

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smallshinybutton · 26/09/2023 16:22

caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 16:19

Well everyone's entitled to their opinion, I'm not fussed that it's summery, just wanted to make sure it wasn't inappropriate with the white.

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It's not inappropriate with the white but you will need a jacket or you'll look far too summery. The jacket will also help with reducing the "white dressness" try navy or brown - see what works.

ManateeFair · 26/09/2023 16:23

Islandsadness · 26/09/2023 13:39

Unless it's a spring wedding, I don't think it's right.

There's no rule that says you can only wear florals/pastels in fucking spring. The sky will not fall in because someone wears a light colour in October. Nobody at the wedding is going to give a shit about any of this.

ManateeFair · 26/09/2023 16:24

try navy or brown

Only if you want to be utterly fucking joyless

smallshinybutton · 26/09/2023 16:31

ManateeFair · 26/09/2023 16:24

try navy or brown

Only if you want to be utterly fucking joyless

Navy or brown isn't joyless! It will just tone down the springy summery vibe OP isn't going for

Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 16:33

smallshinybutton · 26/09/2023 16:31

Navy or brown isn't joyless! It will just tone down the springy summery vibe OP isn't going for

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I'm neither going or not going for a particular vibe, I don't mind if it's spring / summery, I'm just bothered that it fits while pregnant and isn't inappropriately white. I've seen plenty of floral dresses on wedding guests this month on Instagram, lots of oranges and pinks too so not entirely sure how many people are fussed about the seasons.

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uncomfortablydumb53 · 26/09/2023 16:37

The actual dress has more colour than white and I think it's lovely
I've had so many bargains from Vinted

Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 16:38

uncomfortablydumb53 · 26/09/2023 16:37

The actual dress has more colour than white and I think it's lovely
I've had so many bargains from Vinted

Me too, its been a god send for any one-off outfits I've needed while pregnant. Means I don't spend a fortune on brand new stuff I can't wear for long!

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