DP’s the driver in our relationship. I have a provisional license and have failed my driving test twice and I am waiting on the resit since June. When DP renewed his insurance, I suggested going on as a Named Driver (paying the premium difference) but he renewed with his father on the policy instead. DP offers to take me out driving and would happily let me drive around the back roads and village uninsured but I don’t feel comfortable with this. I work in Insurance and know the repercussions would be worse as I should know better (and do).
Around April we had a big talk about our Summer plans because we’re wasting our weekends away indoors watching Netflix and not really doing anything exciting together. I suggested that as we’re both off on Sundays, we should take day trips to different places and plan for more overnight trips away. Some of these day trips weren’t even a thirty minute spin away, and we’re fortunate to have some lovely accessible and climbable mountains in our area. It’s now September and we haven’t even ticked off one of these places from our travel bucket list (made together). DP was really keen about this idea and even suggested buying a tent so we could camp overnight as he’s too tall for car camping.
Any overnight trip whether abroad or within the country I have to plan as DP wouldn’t have the iniative to plan a trip away. In DP’s defence, I never annoyed him this Summer about taking a day trip as I hoped he would’ve had the iniative to suggest it after we both compiled a list. It seems he always suggested climbing a mountain either late evening when neither of us were in appropriate clothes or shoes or when it was raining and it “would’ve been a great idea if it was dry”. DP says he loves to drive and doesn’t mind being the designated driver, but the handful of times I have suggested day trips away he was quick to suggest we wait until the weather is better! I gave up asking but did take a few trips by train myself this summer while he worked on Saturday.
A few of my friends have basically lived the van life with their partners over summer and I have complete FOMO. They’ve converted their cars overnight and camped by the sea. It’s mid September but my close friend and her partner are currently travelling in his van on their joint days off with an airbed in the back, catching sunsets, and having lovely sea swims. I mentioned this to DP and all he said was how “we should do that”.
I lost my cool a little and initially went mute, choosing not to respond until I calmed down a bit. I suppose I just felt annoyed and irritated by DP because we had planned to do all of that but he never actually came through on the plans. As much as DP claims he loves to drive, I think he views me more as a “Passenger Princess” that can be an inconvenience at times. We live thirty minutes apart and he usually collects me and drops me home (twice a week total) but “joked” once about how he spends money on me by paying extra for fuel each week! I offered to get the bus instead but he said he “couldn’t have me on the bus” and he asked me to cover £30 of fuel before for a day trip we did take (where I paid for the lunch!).
I don’t view DP as a taxi and never have. I’ve never asked him to bring me anywhere or for a lift. I’ve always been respectful of him and have never purposely put him out. I’m insured on my friends car and typically whenever I need to go somewhere or to practice, she’s happy to let me take her car and come along for the spin!