Really not sure what to make of all this and would appreciate thoughts..
Split with abusive DD’s dad in Jan, unfortunately our rental has had all sorts of issues incl. a drainage problem caused by the builders next door - raw sewage coming up through the sinks etc. Took my 1 y/o DD with me to my mums to stay until it’s all fixed but landlord explained it’s taking longer than we anticipated due to the extent of the issue.
Since staying with my mum I am shocked by how anxious my mum has become and also am quite offended by how much she seems to want us gone. My dad died a few years ago and I think he kept her in check. She complained to me a few months ago about being alone but whenever we go to see her she seems annoyed. Worried about how she lives, doesn’t seem like she’s living any sort of life at all. She sits in the dark (doesn’t like turning lights on to keep bills down) - I walked into the bathroom the other day and she was applying face cream in the pitch black, refuses to do laundry or let me do any unless it’s once a week on a 15 min 30 degree wash, so am constantly having to put dirty clothes back on DD as I’m not allowed to clean anything even when I offer to pay, she also HATES mess to an unhealthy degree- she can’t stand when my DD drops food or drink on the floor when eating, or any mess for that matter (always clean up after her but obv it’s an ongoing thing!), she started shouting at DD the other day for dropping her cup, I almost lost it at her, she’s only 1!!
Mum hardly leaves the house, when I leave DD with her to pop out she won’t make her new food probably as she doesn’t want to risk wasting it, so gives her corners of her lunch rather than proper meals. Basically says no to any thing that might cost money even if it’s at the detriment of her health and well-being. My mum is retired but she’s not poor, she has savings she’s just always worried about the “what ifs”, is a super negative person and she just seems to take everything to the extreme. can’t even get her to come for a walk with us as she doesn’t seem bothered to do anything but sit inside on her laptop.
said to her the other day I’m worried - been here a month and can’t get her to do anything as a family for fear of it costing money and she lost her s* at me. She is counting the days til we leave and keeps telling me she can’t wait for us to go. I’m starting to get quite annoyed as when I try to help she’s just plain rude and we wouldn’t stay here if it wasn’t an emergency!
AIBU to be annoyed? How do I get her to see that this isn’t any way to live? Totally get saving money but there is a balance? Is there any hope here!???