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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

He’s just had a go at me for “not trusting him” honestly pathetic

78 replies

CenturyCoconut · 25/09/2023 10:07

Am I wrong here?

Something as small as going to McDonald’s at the airport has caused an argument. He wanted to get a coffee with his happy meal but he couldn’t get one. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw small print at the bottom that said you could change your drink, so I said “oh hang on let me just have a look”.

He got moody because he’d “clearly already looked” and I didn’t just trust him. He said he’s not stupid and that he’d already checked. I said I was just trying to help. He said I didn’t need to because he’d already thoroughly looked and “I’d only seen the screen from the corner of my eye”.

He’s now expecting me to say sorry and I said it was pathetic. He also said “it’s common sense, course you couldn’t add caffeine to a kids meal” so he’s basically saying I was stupid for checking.

He’s giving me the silent treatment expecting me to apologise and said it’s pathetic it got to this point because I should’ve just said “sorry” or “I know you’ve looked so it doesn’t matter”.

What even is this? Am I in the wrong?

OP posts:

YukoandHiro · 25/09/2023 10:08

An adult getting a happy meal and kicking off like this at you all the time?

You can do better. You deserve better.

Hold old are you? Is this just a boyfriend or a DH? Do you have kids together?

olderbutwiser · 25/09/2023 10:08

What else is going on in your relationship?

MaudGonneOutForAFag · 25/09/2023 10:08

There’s clearly far more to this than the small print on a Happy Meal…

Original poster

CenturyCoconut · 25/09/2023 10:09

That’s what I said. But he said it’s nothing to do with anything else, it’s just about the happy meal

OP posts:

Original poster

CenturyCoconut · 25/09/2023 10:20

He’s now saying I got defensive. He didn’t instantly have a go at me, he merely brought it up as “how it felt”, but I still don’t see how this was necessary. Apparently it’s my fault for making it into an issue

OP posts:

StephanieSuperpowers · 25/09/2023 10:23

Do you think you make a habit of supervising him, to some extent? I'm just wondering because it sounds such a minor thing that there could be some background where he feels like you second guess and double check everything he says.

SurprisedWithAHorse · 25/09/2023 10:30

How long have you been with this...person?

Gerrataere · 25/09/2023 10:33

Why are you arguing in front of the child I presume you have over a McDonald’s? I assume because I am quite perplexed as to why an adult would order a happy meal, at 10.30 am, when the breakfast menu is still on…

BlueBlubbaWhale · 25/09/2023 10:34

Do you have a habit of not listening to him or trying to look things up to check what he's said is correct? I can understand why that gets annoying if it happens a lot as my partner also does this to be and it feels like he never listens to me.

takealettermsjones · 25/09/2023 10:40

He sounds insecure for some reason, as though he has to 'prove' how thorough and logical he is.

It's possible that you could be a bit irritating (obviously I don't know you so I don't know how often this happens etc) in that you essentially said "let me do it" rather than just telling him you'd seen a button that might do it.

He sounds absolutely ridiculous for insisting on an apology for something so utterly inconsequential.

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/09/2023 10:41

Is “he” an adult or a child?

SleepingStandingUp · 25/09/2023 10:42

Sounds like you have a habit of doing this - just checking he's capable of doing something simple like ordering a drink, feeling like you need to fix everything because he can't do it.

Now it might be that he comes across as dysfunctional and incompetent so you end up mothering him, or you're overly controlling and treat him like you always know best.

Brightandshining · 25/09/2023 10:42

What an arse. I couldn't deal with that high level of drama within a relationship. He sounds like a child.

DonnaBanana · 25/09/2023 10:46

A grown man buying a happy meal for himself would give me the instant ick. Did he go for the toy or the book?

Elfandwellbeing · 25/09/2023 10:47

I assume due to airport location, stress and/or tiredness are a factor. Tbh I cba to expend any thought of this interaction. Petty and needless. Just take mental notes of future interactions for patterns.

GingerIsBest · 25/09/2023 10:49

Surely this is the kind of normal little argument people have all the time when travelling due to higher stress and it should all just blow over in about 10 seconds? Instead it's been escalated to epic proportions.

I assume this is not a standalone incident? But that you are regularly having arguments like this?

Impossible to say if there's one person more to blame from this snapshot. Do you constantly second guess him? Does he constantly use silent treatment? Sounds awful.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/09/2023 10:55

Ahh of course MN would instantly focus on and judge him ordering a Happy Meal 😒
It's a small portion, maybe that's all he fancies. It's not childish.

As for the argument, it sounds like there is more to it than just the fact you wanted to check. As others have said, do you have a habit of checking up on him? Acting like he doesn't know how to do simple things? Does he not like flying and is he a nervous flyer projecting his anxiety?

Throwncrumbs · 25/09/2023 10:56

I got the ick at happy meal…what toy did he get?

Willmafrockfit · 25/09/2023 10:57

i thought with his attitude, regardless of happy meal, you were talking about a child/teenager

TempName247 · 25/09/2023 11:01

He is a knob, and I would have just asked at the counter if they could do a coffee with it, no harm in asking and what’s the worst that could happen!

itsmyp4rty · 25/09/2023 11:02

A Happy meal sounds like it's perfect for him. What a childish drama llama.

LemonQuiche · 25/09/2023 11:04

Happy meal? Jesus.

Anyone who uses the silent treatment isn’t worth your time. He sounds about 10 years old.

LampHat · 25/09/2023 11:12

Out of curiosity, does he choose the book or the toy?

DrivingCadillacsInOurDreams · 25/09/2023 11:18

I'm in my 40s and regularly choose the happy meal - perfect portion size for me! I choose the book, and give to my son.

JudgeRudy · 25/09/2023 11:20

Airports are stressful places. Let's add to that he's probably hungry, thirsty and probably tired....this doesn't excuse snappy behaviour but it might explain it. Could it also be that you have a habit of doing this? One of my mum's annoying habits is for her to question everything with "you should've done this; why didn't you xyz, well you know you can't abc" lt's very irritating. She says she's just trying to be helpful but l don't need, want, or have requested help. Do you inadvertently do this a lot?
Even if you don't, and it was perfectly reasonable to chip in, and let's say he was a bit snappy....you've still added to the friction and rather than say 'OK babe, no need to snap...can you get me a coke please'...you've made it into a thing (which he doesn't want to talk about now). Maube you were tired, hungry and thirsty too. On the face of it he's in the wrong and you've handled it badly making it worse, but the fact you're posting here defending your actions and basically asking who was in the wrong indicates to me that you're hypersensitive to criticism.
In the words of Elsa....let it go!

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