To want to protect my Children's inheritance

[Starssunmoonsky]

Not really an aibu, but I thought I'd post here for traffic.

I'm about to make a Will, but have no idea how I can protect my DC's inheritance from future spouses, or even if it's possible to.

I've got two DC's who are both young adults now, and my DS has just got engaged to his girlfriend. She's a great girl and I think a lot of her and hope she and my DS have a long happy future together.
However, as we all know, unfortunately sometimes marriages don't last and I wouldn't want my DC's to have to hand over half of their inheritance, especially if they end up having a short lived marriage.

I understand that they are the ones who make their own choices and decisions regarding getting married, but when they're 'young and in love' they often don't see that relationships don't always last.

Is there any way I can protect them financially do you know?

A trust.

It isn’t at all ridiculous, and in fact is standard for families with significant assets. Both my family and my husband’s utilize trust funds as part of financial management. It is no more infantilizing than wearing a seatbelt is.

If I were you I'd seek a second opinion. This sounds horrendously complex for only £1m of assets. You will have charity administration expenses and requirements on top of the trust admin expenses and requirements.

You don't need to appoint a professional trustee, just a trustworthy and reasonably intelligent adult. But if you do want a professional, there are plenty who will charge you on a time-spent basis, not an annual fee for doing nothing. Tread carefully - I fear you are being taken for a ride by an unscrupulous adviser.

Surely you would educate your kids on the importance of making wise decisions and the value of their possible inheritance? If they are not wise enough to protect themselves then surely they aren't wise enough to inherit anything of significant value !

Depends on how much the inheritance is and what format it is in. By this I mean if its in tangible assets such as property you could put it into a company and make dc directors of the company. If its in cash you could put it into a trust. But really you should be seeking legal advice.

It's mainly property

Are you going to specify what they spend it on too? Will it be OK if they spend it all on fancy holidays and meals out, or fashion, and fast cars?

Another silly statement!
How many 19 and 21 year olds do you know that have a lot of life experience? So you wouldn't expect them to inherit if they're not wise? Ffs they're still effectively kids at the minute!
They happily see life through rose tinted glasses, experience comes with age.

Just to ask, how many of us thought we'd stay with our first love? How many of us actually did? ......

Why the hell are posters like yourself being so nasty?

I'm trying to protect my DC's financial interests if I can, not considering throwing kittens into a canal! ..... most people with something to leave would do the same I'm sure.

I'm slightly baffled by this.... You are worried about short lived marriages and inheritance. Your children are just into their 20s and you are worried about them having to share their inheritance if the get divorced.... I'm in my 50s with children in their 20s and I haven't inherited anything yet because my father, in his late 70s, is still alive... I could be 70 before he dies and likewise my children could also be elderly before I die. In both cases the inheritance won't be 'needed' as we have earned our own money. Unless you are planning to die soon (and your partner/husband) I think you are worrying about something which isn't really a problem.

Could a pre-nup be used to protect your DCs assets before the marriage? I don't know but it seems to be what the rich folk do.

I'm trying to protect my DC's financial interests if I can, not considering throwing kittens into a canal! ..... most people with something to leave would do the same I'm sure.

Most people don't. Most people leave their kids their assets without conditions.

It’s a fair question though, because unless you specify how they spend it, there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent the spouse from benefitting from that money. And once that money is invested in the marriage such as a house, it becomes a marital asset.

I'm almost 55 and a single parent, so if anything happens to me then my DC get everything, no partner to consider.
None of us know what's around the corner thankfully, but I've known too many people get shafted over by marriage partners, and although I'm by no means saying that that's going to happen to my DC's, you can't blame me for trying to look out for them.

Put it in a trust that gets dissolved when they reach an age you would consider them to be mature enough to make their own decisions. Do not leave it on conditions of children or length of marriage - that way hurt and anger lies.

I appreciate the comments and advice I've been given by posters who are genuinely trying to help.
I don't appreciate having rude posters commenting though, when I only asked for advice regarding a WILL and my assets.

I don't need and I'm not interested in all the 'you're obsessed, you're controlling' type posts. I didn't ask for people's opinions on my thread, (although I've been given them regardless) I wanted factual advice only, so thanks to those who've answered helpfully, and to those who just post useless comments to be nasty, maybe go get a hobby or something?

Actually most people with significant assets do utilize trusts in estate planning.

This is a very long thread for a question that has a short answer.

Is there any way I can protect them financially do you know?

Yes, you can set up a trust. See a solicitor.

I put on my will a btl house I own goes to be split between my 2 DGS's but my dd has a lifetime interest. She is happily married to SiL who I really like, but we all know marriages can break up.

Don’t rise to it. Money is a subject that will attract those with strident opinions, and strong views as to what complete strangers should or shouldn’t do with their assets. It’s irrelevant to you.

Consult a solicitor that specializes in estate planning.

@notlucreziaborgia but she said most people with something to leave, not significant assets. Most people "with something to leave" do not use trusts. We've no idea how significant the assets are in this case other than more than thousands and less than millions.

You asked on AIBU so 🤷🏻‍♀️

My DH is a beneficiary of a trust that was set up when one of his parents passed. His remaining parent is the main beneficiary, then him, his siblings and their children. DH could access the money if he ever needed to, any withdrawals are approved by the trustees. The agreement is the trust is there for them if they need it, help buying a house, repairs, kids education etc… If we divorced I’d not be entitled to any of it but if I needed something for our DCs I could approach the trustees. So if we had a nasty divorce and I was struggling to pay for my DCs school uniforms and my ex was being a dick I could ask the trust as it’s something directly for the children. One of my DHs nephews is currently using some of the money to pay for a new heating system as him and his DW are struggling financially so have asked the trust to pay for the money to pay for it.

Yes I did indeed , but my very first sentence tells you why I did. Maybe try and be a little more observant before you try to 'catch me out'

How much are we talking about here? If you’re making a big fuss about say £50k then honestly just give it up, you’ll just have to trust them.

Anyway, trying to influence this from “beyond the grave” is going to be more than a bit tricky and I question how much you can stop this potential risk from happening.

Encourage them to have prenups.

But also, respect their decisions as adults.

Don't worry about it too much, you wont have to worry about it ally all when you're dead!