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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Really annoyed and need a rant

60 replies

jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 15:44

On Thursday DH suggested going out for a roast today, I booked a nice local pub and was looking forward to it.

Turns out when he went to an event with friends this morning, they went to the cafe after and he had a fry up and now doesn't want to go out for dinner. He told me half hour ago and we are booked in for 16:30. So I've cleaned the house, walked the dog early, juggled this with my 4 month old baby who's really miserable at the minute due to teething, didn't eat any lunch and had 1 bit of toast for breakfast as knew I'd be having a big dinner for him to say we're not going.

I've just called him selfish and come up to the bedroom because I think this is out of order but he says I'm overreacting. I was really looking forward to putting some make up on and having a treat of a meal out but now I'm just stuck in like the rest of the time.

OP posts:
LoudestRoar · 24/09/2023 15:46

I'd leave him with baby, and go out for a nice quiet meal by yourself!

Original poster
jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 15:47

I feel stupid eating by myself otherwise I would @LoudestRoar 😔 I actually feel tearful as was looking forward to some nice time together away from the house.

OP posts:
buckeejit · 24/09/2023 15:47

Go! Even better to go without him. Take a book & enjoy. He's a prick though

KnickerlessParsons · 24/09/2023 15:48

Take a friend

buckeejit · 24/09/2023 15:48

Then make him go & entertain the baby while he watches you eat

Neekoh · 24/09/2023 15:48

Eating on your own is great! Go and have some time to yourself and enjoy it.

FOJN · 24/09/2023 15:49

Can you call a friend to go with you? Leave him at home with the baby and go and enjoy yourself.

He sounds selfish.

OhNoForever · 24/09/2023 15:49

Make him go anyway

BeverleyMacker · 24/09/2023 15:49

Order yourself your favourite takeaway.

mummy21blueeyed · 24/09/2023 15:51

I’d go without him with the baby or without. You can do this you don’t need him and it’ll teach him a lesson. What are you going to eat otherwise

BeverleyMacker · 24/09/2023 15:51

jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 15:47

I feel stupid eating by myself otherwise I would @LoudestRoar 😔 I actually feel tearful as was looking forward to some nice time together away from the house.

Make him go with you. He can have a drink and look after baby.

DsTTy · 24/09/2023 15:53

Go together and he can have a drink whilst you have a roast

ToLet · 24/09/2023 15:55

Go online shopping for bits you like for the price of the meal instead… on his card.

Original poster
jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 15:57

I've said he can still come and have a drink and he's said that there is no point now as I'm pissed off with him.

He's just being an arsehole.

OP posts:
PortalooSunset · 24/09/2023 16:01

Go alone or call a friend?

Is he always this selfish?

WaitingfortheTardis · 24/09/2023 16:03

He's being incredibly disrespectful and selfish. He needs to get off his lazy wotsit and make sure you get a decent dinner. He made a bad decision to eat out earlier, despite having plans with you, he needs to lump it.

theduchessofspork · 24/09/2023 16:07

If he doesn’t want to come with you and have a drink, take a friend or go by yourself with a book.

Personally I would apologise for overreacting, explain you were looking forward to it and ask him to come. He shouldn’t have eaten so much he didn’t want dinner, but these things happen.

Inertia · 24/09/2023 16:09

He can watch the baby while you eat then

Adelaff · 24/09/2023 16:10

He needs to wind his neck in, grumbling that you're pissed off. Of course you're pissed off!

Passepartoute · 24/09/2023 16:14

jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 15:47

I feel stupid eating by myself otherwise I would @LoudestRoar 😔 I actually feel tearful as was looking forward to some nice time together away from the house.

No need to feel stupid. Take a good book and make sure you eat at your leisure and have lots of time to relax.

Original poster
jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 16:17

Thanks everyone.

I've got 2 friends together and we are going out at 6 for dinner, he can sit in with baby.

OP posts:
PoppyFleur · 24/09/2023 16:17

Well, your husband has now shown you that his wants and needs (cooked breakfast with friends) are far more important than yours.

You can either accept that this is the way things are, and will continue to be, or you can take steps to change things.

I am guessing this is not the only imbalance in the relationship. I would hazard a guess that he views it that he has earned his Sunday relaxation time out with friends because he works whereas life is just so easy for you on maternity leave.

He is a selfish arse.

Original poster
jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 16:19

theduchessofspork · 24/09/2023 16:07

If he doesn’t want to come with you and have a drink, take a friend or go by yourself with a book.

Personally I would apologise for overreacting, explain you were looking forward to it and ask him to come. He shouldn’t have eaten so much he didn’t want dinner, but these things happen.

No way am I apologising, I'm not sorry for calling him selfish. He has no idea what it's like to sit in the house/walk the dog/clean the house/cook/laundry/be a Mum all week every week and have these little things to look forward to for somebody to ruin it.

OP posts:
LightSpeeds · 24/09/2023 16:20

jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 16:17

Thanks everyone.

I've got 2 friends together and we are going out at 6 for dinner, he can sit in with baby.

Result!!!!

itsgettingweird · 24/09/2023 16:22

jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 16:17

Thanks everyone.

I've got 2 friends together and we are going out at 6 for dinner, he can sit in with baby.

Good for you!!!

Make sure you stay out long enough that he needs to do bedtime etc and doesn't wait for you to come home and do it all.