Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to stand up to a drug dealer/ stalker?

89 replies

totalmisfit · 05/03/2008 11:18

i was just walking home after dropping dd at playgroup when i noticed this same white van basically driving past me then going round the corner and driving past me again. it stopped ahead of me, just outside our block of flats and the driver got out. I recognised him as the local drug dealer who uses the car-park of our block and the road in front to deal drugs/snort coke and generally harass the residents, in particular my dp and myself.

He basically just stood there staring at me and i thought 'do i go past him or do i just turn back and go the other way and hope that he disappears?'. I decided to brave it as i only have an hour and a half to myself before picking up dd again and don't really have time to waste wandering the streets to avoid creepy guys like him. So he kept staring and i kept walking and then without thinking i just blurted out 'Can you please stop staring at me. I find it intimidating.' Stupid thing to say, i know. He started walking towards me with his fists clenched saying 'What? What? You can't decide who i look at. Why don't you get your husband to come sort it out?' (I think his fixation might be more to do with dp than me, as he has been asking the other residents which flat we live in and regularly walks around looking up at all the windows to see where we are).

So then i stupidly blurted out 'look we've had enough of this, and your drug dealing' To which he replied 'you grass! Why don't you call the police then! go on, call them'. still walking towards me. by this stage i had opened the communal front door and just managed to blurt out 'F*ing stalker!' I don't know why, it was a really stupid and inflammatory thing to say but by this stage fear and anger had taken over and it was as if someone else was talking.

So i got in and there he was, pacing up and down looking up at all the windows trying to see me. At one point i think he saw me so I just panicked and called the police who turned up pretty promptly and asked me a few questions about him, then they said they'd go and speak to him and 'see if our stories matched. They didn't take a formal statement from me so i dont' think they took it very seriously and he drove off in his own van a few minutes later, once again scrutinising the building to try and work out where i was.

So tell me i was being unreasonable. after all, i basically started this confrontation, didn't i? he does have the right to stare at anyone he likes, after all.

OP posts:
bossybritches · 05/03/2008 16:05

Totalmis- not simple -brain damaged, probably from years of stuffing drugs up his nose & god knows where else.

Exactly jesus.It often seems that the police are "doing nothing" but it is very hard with some of these scumbags they deal with to GET evidence & witness statements.

If everyone kept ASBO diaries (you can get them from your community beat officers) with all the little details it can be very useful. Each bit of info (although seemingly useless on it's own) helps build a bigger picture, which can lead to arrest.

Recently we have had a terrible problem with a family in our village. By neighbours getting together & logging activities & calls the CBO has secured a conviction of two of the eldest smack-heads, and also brought about an RSPCA conviction after years of complaint.

Ripeberry · 05/03/2008 16:08

How scary for you, why is he trying to get into the building? Does he want to fight your DP?
Has he got mates as mad as him or does he operate alone?
If i was you, i would make sure i read up and practiced self-defence and carried some home made pepper spray or something.
Would you ever move from the area if things got really bad?
But well done for standing up to him, you're much braver than me.
AB

mrsruffallo · 05/03/2008 19:22

total misfit- how are you now the dust has settled?

MegSophandEmma · 05/03/2008 19:45

Think VS is spot on.

jekyllandhyde · 05/03/2008 20:35

but if he's a dealer, you don't know what he could be on, how distorted his percpetions are, and most importantly how paranoid he is. i definitely do not think that confronting this type of person is a good idea.

i have been in quite a few tricky situations like this through work (although not on an ongoing basis admittedly as i didn't live in the area/s). once i was followed by someone who was on crack (from what i was told). he was staring at me, so i ignored it and carried on. he then pursued me for quite a distance, giving me pretty scary verbal abuse as he was going. it resulted in me being spat at, threatened, almost assualted etc etc. luckily some blokes in a nearby car garage intervened. the guy had the idea that i was an undercover police person, and had been following him all day. had never seen him before in my life.

sorry for such a long post, but i think what i'm getting at is if he is dealing/on a lot of drugs, his paranoia could be pretty unpredictable, as could his perceptions of you and his behaviour. so i personally would try to ignore any odd behaviour and avoid him at all costs. confrontation with him is putting you at risk and i really don't think is worth it if you have dcs. imo the whole 'confront the bullies' approach does work when you're at school, but not when you're dealing with grown-up people with serious drug problems. good luck.

bossybritches · 06/03/2008 13:15

Hi Misfit- any sign of the eejit again today?

totalmisfit · 06/03/2008 14:42

no - maybe it worked????!!!!

i shall wait and see... hope he's cleared off for good. mind you, he's disappeared for a few days before only to come back at 3 am blastin out the world's worst music from one of his many tacky cars and waiting for people to deal to...

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 06/03/2008 14:54

How are you feling tm? What did your dp say?
LOL-Aren't I nosy???

jesuswhatnext · 06/03/2008 15:17

i'm still here misfit!

thursday could be kick off time aas benefits are usually paid today (don't jump on me, i'm talking about scum-bag dealers and their hangers-on, not single mums etc)

get your log book ready, digital camera if you have one and get ready, this is YOUR home and area, this twat dosen't give a damn about you, your family or anyone else, he just wants to do what HE wants.

best of british my love

let us know how it goes!!!!!!

mrsruffallo · 07/03/2008 13:55

Misfit, we await your news.....

jesuswhatnext · 07/03/2008 15:17

bump

mrsruffallo · 07/03/2008 20:42

Bumping you misfit

mrsruffallo · 08/03/2008 12:32

bump- let us know all is well

mrsruffallo · 09/03/2008 20:14

last try for misfit

New posts on this thread. Refresh page