To not want to regularly look after my SIL DC

[namechange201841]

Trying to make this objective as possible. I have a fairly good relationship with SIL. She is a single parent so I know it must be hard. I currently work Monday to Thursday with Friday off I have two DC one at school one at nursery. I use Friday to spend one on one time with my youngest and also try and get as many job done around the house is possible.
SIL is going back to work soon and recently announced a great idea for me and MIL to get a better bond with her DC. MIL would have DC every Thursday and I could have him every Friday. It was sort of asked but almost worded as if she was doing us the favour.
MIL has afew health conditions and told her she couldn't commit. I said similar that there was no way I could commit.
SIL came back with a new plan of me and MIL just having alternative Fridays. MIL agreed but I quite simply do not want to. AIBU?
If I'm honest some weeks it might not be an issue but I don't want another commitment. Some Fridays I'm shattered (my job can be stressful).
I have looked after SIL DC on a number of occasions and do see them about once every two weeks. In an emergency or occasional favour that is no issue.
A side note I get it is to save her some child care costs, however, she is on UC and would get 85% paid

Are you reading a different thread to me?!

The OP is talking about her SIL who is presumably her own husband’s sister.

Her husband can perfectly legitimately offer a bit of evening babysitting if he wants to help his sister out a bit and give her a break. OP doesn’t have to do any sort of childcare.

Indeed, and I didn’t suggest this!

Well if its for bonding, I'd be asking when she's taking yours to do the same.

No. I wouldn't commit to anything like this for anyone.

Ugh, no thanks!

"SIL, on Fridays I spend uninterrupted time with my DC. I can't provide you with free childcare, you will have to make alternative arrangements."

Don't even offer to do every now and again. Otherwise she will totally take advantage.

This!

I think Shinyandnew is asking OP's husband to babysit the niece or nephew, not his own child.

How old is the child? Personally I’d say no, I might consider it for my actual sibling.

Absolutely not.

"Sorry SIL, I'd love to help, I know it's tough. But between the kids and work I'm done in, I just don't have any more to give. I hope you find something X"

It's fine to say no.

All childcare arrangements develop problems from time to time and parents get stuck. It's much more sensible for the default week-in-week-out setup to be not using every nearby family member so that when things go pearshaped there's someone you can call upon for help. If she uses a childminder then on the random days when the childminder is suddenly struck down with legionnaires or goes on holiday, you can be there as a fallback help. If you are one of the main sources of childcare then she'll be totally stuck in the weeks you can't do it.

Plus of course you not wanting to is a perfectly valid reason. She does not own your time.

That is a hard no from me. You will resent her.

My SIL presented a similar senerio a few years . DH told her 'I didn't realise when you decided to have kids it would be such a big responsibility for me'

She never asked again

My instinct would be no, but if they're a similar age it might work well. DD was soooooo much easier to look after with a friend to play with.

No one gets to just decide what you are doing with your time op, tell her no and be firm about it.

I was sitting here reading the OP thinking "what a cheeky, brass-necked cow - sack her off and don't lose a moment's sleep over it". Then I realised that if it were MY relative asking me to babysit their dog every Friday, I'd jump at the offer. 😳😅

I'd offer one day a month. But no more.

She’s taking the piss and I’d easily say no, and I can’t fathom what makes you waver long enough to post it on here 🤷🏻‍♀️

As an aside: how depressing that it’s 2023 yet the pisstaking guilt trip isn’t aimed at her brother and father 🙄

No of course not. You work part time and take the pay cut for a reason and that reason is not to provide her with free childcare.

It would be a no from me. Practically every other Friday throughout the year! What happens if your mum is ill? You will be pressured into being back up. This is a slippery slope to CFdom

what happens if child is ill and can’t go to nursery- will you be asked? The father needs to step up

Give an inch take a mile comes to mind.

You’re resenting it already and you haven’t even looked after your niece!

Just say it not convenient with for you. Don’t even offer to do it ‘in an emergency’ as there’ll always be an emergency.

it’s not your responsibility to sort out her childcare.

And no time it'll be every Friday.

Your SIL is a CF.

Say no.

I’d just say “It’s still a no I’m afraid”.

(And spend weeks moaning about being asked, obviously)

No - I can’t commit to any childcare.
don’t apologise or explain or it doesn’t work for me. it leaves an opening to negotiation - well if X doesn’t work how about Y or Z arrangement?