To not want to regularly look after my SIL DC

[namechange201841]

Trying to make this objective as possible. I have a fairly good relationship with SIL. She is a single parent so I know it must be hard. I currently work Monday to Thursday with Friday off I have two DC one at school one at nursery. I use Friday to spend one on one time with my youngest and also try and get as many job done around the house is possible.
SIL is going back to work soon and recently announced a great idea for me and MIL to get a better bond with her DC. MIL would have DC every Thursday and I could have him every Friday. It was sort of asked but almost worded as if she was doing us the favour.
MIL has afew health conditions and told her she couldn't commit. I said similar that there was no way I could commit.
SIL came back with a new plan of me and MIL just having alternative Fridays. MIL agreed but I quite simply do not want to. AIBU?
If I'm honest some weeks it might not be an issue but I don't want another commitment. Some Fridays I'm shattered (my job can be stressful).
I have looked after SIL DC on a number of occasions and do see them about once every two weeks. In an emergency or occasional favour that is no issue.
A side note I get it is to save her some child care costs, however, she is on UC and would get 85% paid

I'd say no. I'd try to make it gentle, but firm and with no room for discussion.

Cheeky mare!

Id also make it clear that you can’t commit to this at all.

It would soon become you every Friday too

No.

If you wanted to be kind you could offer to look after them on those random inset days when it's really awkward to find childcare because the holiday clubs are shut, but she seems to be the sort that would take a mile if you gave her an inch so a blanket no would probably be better.

Pretending it's because she wants you to bond would fuck me right off. Say what you said before - that you can't commit to that.

Yanbu to say no, but personally I would do it.

Just stand firm and tell her that isn't going to work for you - she doesn't have the right to assume anyone will look after her child while she returns to work, no matter her situation.

Absolutely! She may be a single parent on a tight budget, but that doesn’t excuse treating you like that!

SIL came back with a new plan of me and MIL just having alternative Fridays. MIL agreed but I quite simply do not want to. AIBU?

How did she ask you and when? Text? Have you replied yet?

Sign your dc up to swimming or similar. Say only had Fridays available...

Unless OP has been planning for ages to take her DC swimming, how is taking on this unwanted commitment any better than taking on the childcare?

Don’t make up excuses, discover or make other commitments, or any other reason why you can’t help. You’re not going to do it because you don’t want to - end of.

I have just finished doing this for my dn and I miss him it was every other week and it was lovely seeing the cousin bond develop. Yes sure sometimes it was a pain, but on the whole it was really nice to see him grow and know I'd helped in some way.

That being said it's up to you, you sound like you don't want to so don't be pressured into it.

A very cheeky suggestion from her and to be honest I personally think this whole ‘bond’ thing is just an excuse to try and palm the kids off on relatives. My adult DD has a great bond with her DGM despite them living far away and no regular babysitting as a child. Family are invaluable when it comes to emergencies or occasional favours (like to attend a friends wedding at a weekend etc) but asking family to have kids when have an alternative is wrong unless they have explicitly offered

Absolutely not. Be firm, don't let them quilt trip you.

The relatives can hardly tell op she can't spend time with her own dc because she has to have sil's can they really?

She wants you to take the hit on your pension and salary to so she can have discounted childcare!

I'm a single parent. I have no family nearby. I therefore work full time so that I can afford to pay for childcare for the hours a couple of nights each week that I need it around school.
I would never expect anyone else to look after my child - and I really don't want to look after other peoples. So Hell No

No no no

Her child. Her responsibility.

Offer occasional babysitting sure, but regular childcare, er, no.

What day of the week is she planning on having yours? None I am guessing... meaning she's another CF!

How does she intend that she'll bond with your children?

What does your DH (her brother?) say about this?

Why doesn’t he do some babysitting for her instead?

Obviously he can't babysit, assuming that it's his child, but they could share the childcare burden,

Agree on not even semi agreeing.

I would suggest a family Sunday brunch once a month hosted on rotation (and the Sunday is flexible depending on who hosts) so the kids can stay close / see each other

I think it's fine to say no to a regular commitment if it doesn't work for you. It's still a big help to be available for emergencies, ad hoc stuff that comes up etc.

If the OP's husband is the child's father, there are bigger issues here than childcare!

I'd be giving a firm and immediate no.

Does she do any childcare for you?

@DysmalRadius obviously! I was just pointing out that a father does not "babysit" his own children.