For not letting my sister enter my apartment

[yelloworangepurple]

For some background, my sister has been quite mean to me growing up, verging on bullying.

3 years ago I moved out and lived in my apartment. Since then I have avoided my sister like the plague, eg. not showing up to the events she is in.

Yesterday I came down with the flu and have told my mum to tell her that I won't be able to visit her tomorrow. She accidentally told my sister about my flu and my sister has been texting me to come round my apartment to take care of me. I am adamant not to let her since I am perfectly capable of keeping myself alive.

I feel bad since I think she might have a good intention, but I still believe that she hasn't changed and is concerned that she might steal something from my apartment. (her habit since we were young)

Just mute her messages after you've told her you're going to go to sleep as you need rest

Nope. Leopards don't change their spots. The sister has had plenty of opportunity to build bridges and chose not to.

I wouldn't feel bad about not wanting her to come and see you whilst you're ill. Trust your gut, which is telling you that it's out of character and possibly that she has an ulterior motive. The last thing you want to do is see someone who you don't have a good relationship with, when you're ill, as you're more vulnerable.
If you did want to try and have a talk with your sister about things then I would do it when you're better and meet on neutral ground.
In the meantime just text and thank her for the offer but you don't want to pass it on to her and you don't feel up to visitors as you're just wanting to sleep most of the time.

Just say your fine on your own and you will see her when your feeling better keep your door locked. If someone makes you that uncomfortable and you go to lengths you have to avoid her then you don’t have to let her in to your home I hope your feeling better soon don’t let her wear you down so that you give in be blunt with her.

Be polite to both parents and sister.
I dont want either of you to visit, thankyou.
I dont want the relationship you both think I want with my sister/ you. I'm quite happy with low contact and so politely thankyou not to interfere. Interfering and meddling in what I have chosen for my life and who I have in it will only have a more negative impact. I wont be bullied by anyone into seeing people I dont really want close in my life. Either respect my decision or I will walk away.

Then do it. My mum was forever trying to 'persuade' me to have 'more's of a relationship with my sister, which I did not want. Once I politely put my decision across she has mostly respected it.

It gets tiring before xmas, as my mum wants "all family together just like the good old days playing charade etc" I just politely tell her those are great memories, but times are different now. I dont hate my sister, I just dont appreciate her manipulating ways, if I'm not involved with her, that's great. I'm sorry for my mum, because she genuinely thinks I'll grow out of this ( I'm 53 !) She wants us to have sisters to have a relationship that is just not going to happen, but she wants to imagine it will "one day's. That's ok. That's her fantasy, she's entitled to that. But LC is better for me and thats what I have.
Stay strong, dont open the door and switch your phone off. Get well soon !

Trust your instincts. As others have said. Ignore and don't respond.
It's weird that she has a sudden urge to be around you since you're not usually close.
Ignore the texts and calls and don't let her in if she comes over.

Even if she does want to build bridges, the time to do that is not when someone has the flu. You meet in the pub and have a pint (or similar). You don't force your company on someone when they are ill.

You cannot choose your family, only your friends. If you don't trust her don't let her in.

I’d definitely say no! What good will it do seeing her when you’re unwell. Save it for when you feel better if you want to but sounds like you don’t. Absolutely no from me