To try and dispel some rape myths since we're all talking about it ?

[bemorebernard]

I did some training with one of rape crisis most eminent psychologists.

There are 4 categories of rapist

1. sadistic rapist - the Fred west type , they get off on humiliation, terror , violence , they get salacious pleasure from causing pain . Very rare .

2. angry rapist - the frenzied attacker . Think the Yorkshire ripper . Most likely to come to police attention.

3. the opportunist rapist - they will use violence as a means to and end . But they don't get off on the violence , it's a way to get the sex they want .

4. now this is important so listen up
   The compensatory rapist. Never uses violence .the most complex and clever . The most difficult to investigate. THEY DO MOT SEE THEMSELVES AS RAPISTS. They utilise distorted thinking to justify their actions. "Women like it , when they say no they mean yes , men are t mind readers ," and after the rape they will normalise it . The fact there are often no consequences after will be justification to them. They may perpetrate many sex crimes and the cos will often say there isn't enough evidence. Only if they are reported 4 or 5 times will they statistically start to come to attention.

RAPE IS A RELATIVELY EASY. RIME TO GET AWAY WITH

Now think about it .

This happened to me . All those women saying none of my friends / relatives/ partners would do this , exactly how do you know if they don't see their actions as rape ?

I had a one night stand back in 2015 and what started consensual became something else. That guy left my flat the next day and will have carried on dating , maybe now in a full relationship or married . He tried to go from vaginal to anal sex without asking and pretending not to know what he'd done . It hurt me . I told him what he was doing and he laughed and said sorry .

He might never display that behaviour again. No one would think twice .
And he would deny and refute it if I'd reported it. A mistake he'd say no doubt .

My point is men in cat 4 do not see themselves as rapists so many many men have acted this way then justified it and shaken it off , never to surface again

I tried dating from mid 40s to 50 and the behaviour of men in that category was abhorrent. They clearly had no concept of consent or want that means .

There are many more rapists out there than women think . And until you're the victim , you wouldn't know .

Russell brand has refuted the claims of his accusers . He doesn't see himself as a rapist . He is the majority of men in cat 4 .

I really don't think that's true

In my experience men push boundaries in one night stands or new relationships.

I've had a ons rape me
A ons use hair pulling and dominance without ever discussing it first
I had a short relationship where he never told me he was on fab swingers or had had unsafe sex with hundreds of women

I'm done . I think men who
Are single in my age range are single for very good reason and their abusive arses .

Never did my husband rape me or push boundaries and never had any man im close to try the same .

I think rb wore a condom if asked , though made it clear he didn't like it
Not according to the Times report. It's one thing that gives credence to Alice/Nadia's testimonies; they didn't know each other but both said RB had not worn a condom with them without their consent on at least one occasion. It's also why Nadia's texts ask about STDs and berate him for not wearing one when in the past she had said no to condomless sex.