Name labels

[Scatterbrain156]

I know this seems really petty…but…

My son’s got a double barrel name including mine and his dads names. His dad is only using his last name on my son’s clothes labels for school and things. I use my son’s full name including both our surnames. We’re not together and so cutting mine out feels very dismissive. I changed one lot and he told me not to “tamper” with the things he buys. 🙄 He’s sent my son back in another load of clothes with name labels in without my name included. AIBU to change them again??

Whoever buys the things can label the things.

Confusing as hell for the kid though. So petty. My DH's ex did this with the clothes in a rubbish attempt to get the kids to want to change their name to hers. Ridiculous. It wasn't their name!

Sorry, so to answer. I can't vote on this as YANBU for thinking he should be double-barrelling if that is your child's name. But YABU for relabelling clothes if they were purchased by dad.

Just make sure school use his full name. Leave ex to his childish behaviour...

As long as it’s clear to the staff in school who it belongs to it’s really not something worth battling surely? it risks just becoming petty on all sides.

Not unreasonable to be annoyed about that.
The name labels need to match whatever name is registered at the school.

You’re right. I know it seems petty for me to entertain this ridiculousness and be annoyed by it. But it just feels so dismissive of me. 😫

Ok. Take a deep breath and don’t relabel. I realise there are bigger problems in the world. It’s just got right on my tits that he’s done that!

But if you change them he knows that he is getting to you. If you can rise above it as annoying as it is you get the upper hand as his tactic isn’t working.

I know it’s childish of me - but now if I don’t keep changing them I feel like he’s won. 😖 But you’re right. If he’s going to be this petty, let it go…along with everything else he does. 🫠😂

He's being a twat. But don't bite!

By not changing them you win. He wants you to bite. He wants to have power over you. Your not responding will most likely piss him off a lot more!

This. Leave him to his silly game

I'd leave it. Let him "win". All this back and forth of cutting labels out is nonsense and no good for your child. Be the bigger person.

Just to say, my kid’s only just started school so he has no idea what his labels say.

You might have to make sure the school know he goes by the double barrelled name. So they can help him learn.

Sorry you're dealing with this shit

It’s not petty to feel like this. Your sons name is part of his identity. Your partner is using your sons name as leverage to get at you, it’s not on. This is why adopted children don’t have their names changed, it’s part of who they are.