Who gets the piano?

[80s]

Would like an outside opinion on this...

My ex of 20 years (15 married) and I bought an e-piano 15 years ago from the household budget for the children to learn on - about 800 euros I think. Ex and I since broke up. He's in the old house and I am in a little flat. The piano stayed in the house (no formal agreement). Kids are adults. When they are in town (maybe 6 weekends a year) they stay in their old rooms at the house, not with me.

I am on a course that requires me to learn the piano. Wrote to ex about needing the e-piano. He replied: "The piano is used by the kids whenever they stay over night and I really enjoy them practicing and their music, so I’d like it to stay there but you could borrow it for the time it’s needed for your course, if the kids are ok with it".

I also enjoy them practising and haven't heard them do so in 5 years now. Exh does not play the piano. I will need a piano or keyboard to practise after this course.

Ex thinks he's entitled to the piano and that he's being generous by "letting" me borrow it. I think I have just as much right to have the piano as him. Of the two of us, I'm the one who actually needs to use a piano or keyboard regularly. It was originally the kids' piano but they don't use it very often now.

Would it be reasonable of me to claim the piano and tell him to stuff his supposed generosity where the sun doesn't shine? Or AIBU - e.g. as we both have a claim to it and the children might play it more often during their visits if it's at the house?

Maybe it's just me, but I think his reply is totally reasonable. You asked for something you need, he feels it wouldn't suit him but he's nevertheless willing to go along with it for the duration of your course (which is what you asked for). I'd say thanks, take it for the duration of the course and then renegotiate.

If you separated 5 years ago, I think you need to accept that it's gone. I don't know of the split off assets at the time was far or not but what's done is done, and what you each took at the time is yours.

Do you really want to set the president of been in each others pocket forever over a 15 year old, 800 euro pian?

It's an electric piano, so won't be at all difficult to move.

OP, I don't really think that you really get to pick and choose things from the former marital home five years after you've moved out. You should have taken it at the time if you wanted it. Fine to ask, but equally fine for your ex to say no. If you want an electric piano you can buy them secondhand really cheaply.

My friend's ex-husband has form for suddenly asking for things from the marital home (where my friend and her kids still live) and it's not really on. He kicked off recently because he decided he wanted to take custody of the hedge-trimmer and she'd sold it last summer. She 'should have consulted him' apparently. Despite the fact that they've been divorced for seven years.

Either borrow and don't return.
Or buy 2nd hand, there must be loads of secondhand pianos on the market.