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AIBU?

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Original poster

to let 3 of my kids have their own computers?

161 replies

Rosbo · 04/03/2008 19:11

my MIL thinks its spoilt to let them have their own computers, however they are teenagers and use them for schoolwork as well as other things such as social networking sites like facebook and MSN messenger with their friends. Many of their friends have their own laptops or computers too. My dd2 aged 16, recently described herself as "Complete" when her hair straighteners were fixed as she "found it hard to cope" without them. Are my kids becoming too materialistic for their own good?

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SpringSunshine · 04/03/2008 22:20

They play lots of games - educational and otherwise plus dd has recently discovered Google and searches for things related to work they are doing at school - their teacher often gives them mini challenges such as which are the only 3 mammals to lay egs and she loves researching them

I am happy for them to understand how computers work, learn mouse control etc in a fun way and also learn how it can help you find information / solve a problem.

KnickersOnMaHead · 04/03/2008 22:20

Message withdrawn

agnesnitt · 04/03/2008 22:21

My four year old has her own laptop.

Granted, it's my old one that doesn't work, but I wanted to cause a few heart attacks

Agnes

mrsruffallo · 04/03/2008 22:25

Too much screentime is actually harmful at their age, SpringSunshine. Why can't they use the other pc?
Surely they are not on it for hours each day.
They are still developing their social skills at this age

pointydog · 04/03/2008 22:25

I would be a bit concerned about what they were accessign on their computers and who they were talking to at all hours.

KnickersOnMaHead · 04/03/2008 22:26

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Rosbo · 04/03/2008 22:27

KnickersOnMaHead, I can't wait for however many years it is until your dc are about 13, and will be wanting to use the computer CONSTANTLY for bebo and msn to talk to their friends and then you'll cave in and get them a laptop because otherwise, you'll never get a look in for mumsnet and whatever else you use it for. And if you stop your kids using bebo and the like, its incredibly likely they'll be bullied. Sorry, but thats how it is nowadays.

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KnickersOnMaHead · 04/03/2008 22:29

Message withdrawn

SpringSunshine · 04/03/2008 22:30

I restrict their time on the pc just as i do television. They spend far longer with books, outside or inventing all sorts of weird games.

They do not have any other games machines as their friends do and I am planning to resist the DS, Wii demands for as long as possible.

I see a computer as a tool and am happy for them to learn to use it as such, just as they do the TV, telephone, HiFi, washing machine, dishwasher etc ....

pointydog · 04/03/2008 22:30

Be bullied for not having it and bullying others by using it. Can't win on that score.

KnickersOnMaHead · 04/03/2008 22:30

Message withdrawn

RustyBear · 04/03/2008 22:31

Computers are not the future, they are a tool for the future. In education, success depends on making the most effective use of them, not just using them because they are there. There's been a lot of funding for ICT in schools over the last few years, especially for software, with e-learning credits 'ring-fencing' a lot of money for the purchase of software - this has led to a lot of educational software being 'over-written' - too complicated, when simpler products are just as effective in achieving the learning objectives - and also carelessly written, which means they need ever more powerful computers to run them. The idea seems to be that because kids have games with fancy graphics at home, they need them in educational games too, but in fact the well-designed simpler games are just as popular and you don't get the lengthy waits for stuff to load & the computer freezing at a vital point.

Computers were originally a great way to motivate children, and you could get away with a lot,simply because learning to use a computer was an educational objective in itself, but that effect is weaker now so many have them at home - the novelty has worn off - just 'doing it on the computer' is no longer exciting, so the activity itself must have intrinsic worth.

The emphasis now is more on using computers as a means of finding, collating and storing information and presenting work - proper use of the internet and learning platforms, where every child even in primary school has their own online workspace, and proper use of interactive whiteboards & other tools to make sure that children with all learning styles - auditory, visual and kinaesthenic are catered for.

Original poster
Rosbo · 04/03/2008 22:32

They can still tell you what they did during their day, over dinner or on the journey back from school. By the sounds of things, you will get a bit of a shock when your dc hit their teenage years.

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mrsruffallo · 04/03/2008 22:32

This is a wind up
Surely you can't believe that your child's popularity and confidence depends on having unlimited computer access?
Researching using books takes skill and dedication.

mrsruffallo · 04/03/2008 22:36

I don't have teenage children but I have neices and nephews who are teenagers and they share a family computer and are very well educated.
I get the feeling it is more peer pressure than neccessity for your dc Rosbo.

Original poster
Rosbo · 04/03/2008 22:37

Yes, my dc's do read books - we have stacks of them at home. And no it isnt a wind up mrs ruffallo. I'm sure I'm not the only mum here that KNOWS a childs popularity will decrease if mummy won't let them talk to their friends using the internet (which is far cheaper than using a phone) at the age of 13. And it is safe for our children anyway, as my DH has software so we can monitor what sites our dc's are on at anytime. Besides, we trust them! A lot of couples meet over the internet now too. welcome to the 21st century

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KnickersOnMaHead · 04/03/2008 22:37

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KnickersOnMaHead · 04/03/2008 22:39

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agnesnitt · 04/03/2008 22:40

For the record, there will be no personal 'pooters for either of my children as they grow up. There's a desktop downstairs, and I have a laptop. If they're not good enough then tough. I've been strong enough to adhere to my ban on Disney crap for the last five years, pesky 'pooters will not get past me either As and when they decide to go to uni they can have their own machines.

Agnes

pointydog · 04/03/2008 22:40

You really think it is "safe"? Depends what you mean by safe, I suppose.

mrsruffallo · 04/03/2008 22:42

I am not suggesting they shouldn't e mail their friends- I just don't understand why they need their own computers to do it!
I can understand having one or two family ones but one each does seem excessive to me
Stop saying welcome to the 21st century, you sound old fashioned
You are computer crazed!!!

Original poster
Rosbo · 04/03/2008 22:42

Yes, it is safe. For gods sake how is it not safe if you can see what your children are doing??

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KnickersOnMaHead · 04/03/2008 22:45

Message withdrawn

pointydog · 04/03/2008 22:45

I didn't realise you watch what they are doing all the time. I thought you just monitored the sites they were on.

Maybe I've just been on too many child protection courses.

Original poster
Rosbo · 04/03/2008 22:48

KnickersOnMaHead, I can see what my children are doing anytime I want, because DH has downloaded software which enables us to see which sites all the computers in the house are on. If they take the laptops out the house, they're on scool or college intranet which filters most sites anyway.

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