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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let 3 of my kids have their own computers?

161 replies

Rosbo · 04/03/2008 19:11

my MIL thinks its spoilt to let them have their own computers, however they are teenagers and use them for schoolwork as well as other things such as social networking sites like facebook and MSN messenger with their friends. Many of their friends have their own laptops or computers too. My dd2 aged 16, recently described herself as "Complete" when her hair straighteners were fixed as she "found it hard to cope" without them. Are my kids becoming too materialistic for their own good?

OP posts:
Original poster
Rosbo · 04/03/2008 20:20

Thank you MotherFunk, that makes me feel a lot better!! I do worry however that my dc's friends may all have laptops of their own because they go to a private school where laptops and lots of other material objects are the norm? When actually its not normal for a 16 & 18 year old to have their own laptop? However lots of my friends sons have Xbox's in their bedrooms, and tbh laptops cost nearly the same as an Xbox now I think...

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Lulah · 04/03/2008 20:31

ours have own computers in their rooms.
all homework is done first and as all reports and teachers review evenings show this we know they do this.
all stop for an hour for supper each evening.
depending on age we set time for pc to be turned off and we check it each night.
ant punishment needed we ban their use of pc first, then phone.

we have five dc and in a materialistic society we seem to have a reasonable compromise.
all stil have outside hobbies, horseriding, karate, football etc

computers are our future let them fully learn to use them well i say.
also not a lot to do for kids these days once at secondary age, great source of entertainment and interaction

DoubleBluff · 04/03/2008 20:39

Rosbo you are not being unreasonable.
If one child has something then theo other should too.
DS2 will be getting a new bike for his birthday even though Ds1's is good enough for him to have, but if DS1 always has a new bike then it is only fair that DS2 should get one too at some point.
Same with clothes DS2 can't only have DS1's cast offs otherwise they will grow up feeling second best.

Hulababy · 04/03/2008 20:42

As teenagers I think it is acceptable for children to have their own computyers, although I would still be monitoring their use and have restrictins on their us/internet security settings until they hit at least 16y.

If you can afford it and they use them sensibly I can't see a problem.

My 5y has her own computer - but it is in a family room with limited access.

Wisteria · 04/03/2008 20:43

YANBU - we found that they needed their own fairly quickly and there is nothing wrong with them having internet access in their rooms at that age - you can get software that allows you to check what they're doing if you're concerned.

We have had frank and open discussions on safe internet usage in the same way that you talk to them about keeping themselves safe in other aspects of their lives, there's no difference IMO.

I regularly spot check what they're up to but be prepared to not like the sorts of things they are saying on msn etc. As long as they are only talking to people they know well then I ignore all the bollox they all spout

Personally I couldn't abide hearing all the music etc that dd1 has on repeat {going slowly mad emoticon] so am glad it is confined to her room.

cat64 · 04/03/2008 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Rosbo · 04/03/2008 20:52

Haha yes wisteria I completely agree!
My 16 yo DD has recently got into Marilyn Manson [shudders]

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mumeeee · 04/03/2008 20:54

I don't think that tenagers need their own computers until they start A levels. DD1 and DD2 had laptops when they started thier A level courses ( first year of 6th form).DD1 had an old one untl which DH got from work until the 2nd year of uni, then DD2 had it until September she then paid towards a new one. Before that they used the family one. DD3 16 is doing GCSE's and she still uses the family computer.

Original poster
Rosbo · 04/03/2008 21:02

But Mumeeee, does your DD3 type up everything on the family computer?

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MotherFunk · 04/03/2008 21:18

Message withdrawn

Wisteria · 04/03/2008 21:18

My dd1 (14) does the majority of her homework on the computer already - a great deal of revision papers are set over a website that goes straight to the teacher as well so she wouldn't be able to do it otherwise.

DD2 (nearly 12) also uses it for homework a lot and I use it for work - we manage with 2 (my pc and dd1's laptop) at present but that is becoming more and more difficult.

Wisteria · 04/03/2008 21:20

Mumeee things have changed a great deal already and soon I think computers will soon (if not already IMO) become as fundamentally important as paper and pens for pupils.

mumeeee · 04/03/2008 21:24

No she doesn't type everything but she does type up cousework and some other homework.
Why do your children have to type up everything at School?
DD3 is Dyspraxic and she doesn't use a laptop at school altough she does have access to the school computers at lunch times or after school if she needs them.
DD2 does type a lot of stuff for her A level English and her BTECH performing Arts cours, but she does not take her laptop to college she puts all her stuff on a memory stick which she can use in the college computers.

skidoodle · 04/03/2008 21:39

God I can't believe a school would allow pupils to use laptops during classtime

It really seems to me that the less people understand computers the more they allow them to be used in stupid ways.

I hope that our young people's understanding of computers is a little more considered and critical than that of many teachers and parents who seem to be scarily naive about them.

Original poster
Rosbo · 04/03/2008 21:52

But they're not using them in stupid ways...they're typing up essays or putting their music practicals onto itunes. In ten years time we'll have robots instead of sales assistants - as some supermarkets are already using. Its only right we get used to the fact that computers are the future.

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RustyBear · 04/03/2008 21:52

We currently have 5 computers in our family of 4, but one is with DS at university & one is suposed to be a replacement for an old one, but we haven't got round to shifting everything over yet.

DS had a pc in his room from about 16, but DD's has always been in the family room, partly so I could keep an eye on what she was up to, but mainly because if she had one in her room it would probably end up being left on with piles of clothes etc chucked over it.

DS had a laptop for his 18th birthday, but DD preferred to wait till she goes to university, when she can get one that's set up for their network.

Almost all her A level work is at least partly done on the computer - her 6th form college have a massive computer suite & she usually emails stuff back to herself - I don't think any of the students actually use their own laptops in class though.

skidoodle · 04/03/2008 21:58

Laptops being used in class for "note taking" is a stupid use of laptops.

Obviously typing up essays is useful. Having digital copies of music practicals also (but why must they be "put on iTunes"?)

And can we please stop with all this "computers are the future" nonsense? I don't even know where to start with that. It's stupid in so many different ways.

Original poster
Rosbo · 04/03/2008 22:02

but computers are the future Thats not being stupid skidoddle, thats merely a fact. And they put their music practicals onto itunes because then they can put them onto their ipods, which will help them learn their pieces for exams. Also because its a mac computer so this is the default player

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MotherFunk · 04/03/2008 22:06

Message withdrawn

mrsruffallo · 04/03/2008 22:06

I guess in private school you are under pressure to keep up with the joneses. Lots of children manage to do well at school sharing a family computer or two.
It's like some nightmare vision of the future, everyone in the same house staring at screens and not communicating with each other.

SpringSunshine · 04/03/2008 22:10

My dcs are 5 and 6 and they have a desktop computer which is just theirs - dh and I both have a laptop plus the 'communal' desktop.

I think they are the future and I have no doubt mine will have laptops before they are teenagers.

mrsruffallo · 04/03/2008 22:12

SpringS- Why on earth do they need their own computer?

Original poster
Rosbo · 04/03/2008 22:12

My DH is a music teacher, and as well as all our computers we have keyboards and guitars connected to our computer. Maybe we're too modern? And yes mrs ruffallo there is a lot of competition at the school.

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mrsruffallo · 04/03/2008 22:16

Computers aren't the future- alternative energy sources are.

KnickersOnMaHead · 04/03/2008 22:17

Message withdrawn

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