To let my kids be loud outside?

Imtheterribleneighbour · 2023-09-20T01:19:25+00:00

When my kids were babies the house next door was sold. The new owners were noisy, music on outside, car doors slamming at 2 in the morning, nothing serious just annoying. I asked them a couple of times if the could be considerate but it made no difference. Now they have a baby and my kids play outside. They aren’t too bad, a little bit of shouting but the bouncing of a basketball is now the soundtrack to my life. I had a note a few weeks ago asking to limit the kids outside but ignored it. The neighbour has just been around and asked if my kids could stop bouncing the ball in the yard. I said as I already limit when they can be outside (it’s 830 - 845 in the morning and 330 -730 in the afternoon during the week and 930 - 800 on weekends) it’s not constantly happening in those times but limited to. I have said no you just have to live with it. He got upset as it’s annoying and wakes the baby. I said I understand as we had the same issue with them when the kids were little, but they will just have to live with it like we did. Am I being unreasonable?

Marchitectmummy · 20/09/2023 02:24

Sounds annoying I would be tearing my hair out, who else is being affected by the noise of bouncing, perhaps see if its bearable for thrm.Or are they your only neighbours?

Original poster

Imtheterribleneighbour · 20/09/2023 02:37

It’s on the side of the house next to neighbours. Their house is close to the fence next to us.

OP posts:

DameWhiskers · 20/09/2023 02:45

I'd evaluate carefully just how noisy your children are. Put aside the history of what may have happened before; that's irrelevant now. How many kids do you have? How old are they? What kind of screaming are we talking about?

I also have new neighbours that are unfortunately noisy. One child in particular cannot do anything outside without screaming - and it's an ear-splitting scream that my DS has put in the tone of F-sharp. (She's about 3 years old.) I hear this many, many times a day. The whole family have extremely loud outside voices that I'm hoping will settle down after a while, but perhaps they simply don't realise how noisy they actually are.

ZekeZeke · 20/09/2023 03:10

That repetitive bouncing noise of a basketball on concrete is one of the most annoying sounds ever. It can grate on my nerves, throw in screaming and shouting and I'd be fit to murder.

Do the neighbourly thing!

oakleaffy · 20/09/2023 03:14

ZekeZeke · 20/09/2023 03:10

That repetitive bouncing noise of a basketball on concrete is one of the most annoying sounds ever. It can grate on my nerves, throw in screaming and shouting and I'd be fit to murder.

Do the neighbourly thing!

Agree- it’s a sound that makes me at my wit’s end
It’s horrible - and incredibly loud.
Right up there with drumming and the repeated thump Whump of a trampoline.

TorqueWrench · 20/09/2023 03:24

Part of me feels like it's time for a taste of their own medicine, but is the noise proportionate to the noise they used to make? A car door slamming is very different to prolonged shrieking and ball bouncing.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/09/2023 03:29

Karma is a bastard. However, how much was their noise compared to yours? Was it the odd late night and nothing in between while yours is hours every day? In which case, tone it down. If it was constant loud music from them, meh. They get theirs.

There is a small matter of whether they are really struggling. When DD was small I was really struggling with her sleep. Depression symptoms struggling. No one should make that worse, even if they were inconsiderate bastards.

Original poster

Imtheterribleneighbour · 20/09/2023 05:23

Two kids 8 and 10. The screaming is minimal, I think it’s the constant bouncing that is annoying (it annoys me too). Their noise was different. Loud music until 11 about once a month on a Saturday night. Car doors all the bloody time. Car running in driveway at 7 most mornings for fifteen minutes. It wasn’t bad enough to do anything about, but annoying when you have very young children. My kids aren’t outside all the time, some weekends it’s only for an hour, but sometimes it’s almost all day. I won’t make any week day changes, but I will limit the weekend to two hour blocks then to give it a rest for an hour.

OP posts:

Rexxxxxx · 20/09/2023 05:30

I couldn’t be arsed with tit for tat. I would probably keep the annoying ball bouncing to either after school or before.

Original poster

Imtheterribleneighbour · 20/09/2023 05:33

It’s more I can’t be arsed stopping them rather than actively trying to annoy them.

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Caro678 · 20/09/2023 05:34

If you also find the bouncing annoying then you could experiment with getting them some other equipment to play with in the hope of a bit more variety.

But ultimately I think kids need to be outdoors playing as much as possible for health reasons. In the past they would have been able to go out on their bikes or to a playground by themselves, but that’s too risky these days.

So I think the children need to be allowed to play in their garden without time restrictions. People need to be tolerant of the normal noise of children playing if they live in built up areas, for the good of the emerging generation.

PriOn1 · 20/09/2023 05:39

Seems unlikely it would wake the baby. Constant noises are usually filtered out by babies, in my experience. They can sleep through almost anything, if they’re used to it.

I think limiting it more can’t do any harm though. Even if your neighbours were annoyingly noisy in the past, you might want to ask them to modify something in future, so being reasonable now might stand you in good stead.

rwalker · 20/09/2023 05:41

Music once a month and cars doors slamming ( everything sounds louder at night)

isn’t comparable with the above fucking annoying constant thud of ball bouncing

Original poster

Imtheterribleneighbour · 20/09/2023 05:49

I don’t think there is anything worse than a ball constantly bouncing. But they couldn’t care less that they were making too much noise. There is no point suggesting my boys do something different. They won’t.

OP posts:

Worriednanof1 · 20/09/2023 05:51

DameWhiskers · 20/09/2023 02:45

I'd evaluate carefully just how noisy your children are. Put aside the history of what may have happened before; that's irrelevant now. How many kids do you have? How old are they? What kind of screaming are we talking about?

I also have new neighbours that are unfortunately noisy. One child in particular cannot do anything outside without screaming - and it's an ear-splitting scream that my DS has put in the tone of F-sharp. (She's about 3 years old.) I hear this many, many times a day. The whole family have extremely loud outside voices that I'm hoping will settle down after a while, but perhaps they simply don't realise how noisy they actually are.

Did you read the op? Who mentioned screaming?

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/09/2023 05:51

Imtheterribleneighbour · 20/09/2023 05:49

I don’t think there is anything worse than a ball constantly bouncing. But they couldn’t care less that they were making too much noise. There is no point suggesting my boys do something different. They won’t.

So take them to a hoop somewhere else. Or dribbling practise out of the way somewhere. Or a team.

Cantbelieveit101 · 20/09/2023 05:54

Let them be loud.
But not too loud.
I would prefer a ball bouncing than the yelling at each other now mine are older!

Nandocushion · 20/09/2023 05:56

OP leave your kids to play. In a few years your neighbours' child will be doing exactly the same, and they've already shown you they won't give a toss if it bothers you, so then it will be your turn to live with the noise.

sep135 · 20/09/2023 05:59

YABU. Car doors slamming are not comparable to hours of basketball bouncing. It would drive me up the wall.

Not entirely sure why you say you're not able to control your kids but I'd limit the basketball to an hour a day. There's other games your kids can play outside beyond that.

yogasaurus · 20/09/2023 06:00

Imtheterribleneighbour · 20/09/2023 05:49

I don’t think there is anything worse than a ball constantly bouncing. But they couldn’t care less that they were making too much noise. There is no point suggesting my boys do something different. They won’t.

Erm, you’re the parent? Can you not control anything they do?

Original poster

Imtheterribleneighbour · 20/09/2023 06:11

If it’s not basketball it’s inside on screens. I can’t force them to take an interest in outdoor mime.

They do play in teams. They aren’t outside all the time. I won’t limit them to an hour a day. I’m more concerned for my children’s wellbeing than my neighbours.

OP posts:

Brefugee · 20/09/2023 06:11

Imtheterribleneighbour · 20/09/2023 05:33

It’s more I can’t be arsed stopping them rather than actively trying to annoy them.

They're going to be great teenagers if you CBA parenting them now...

ZekeZeke · 20/09/2023 06:19

You have posted in AIBU and are basically arguing with everyone that is saying you are!
You say you won't limit their time doing it, that you can't be arsed to stop your kids.

You should be teaching your children manners, how to be respectful of others. Not that their amusement is more important than others peace and quiet.

When these neighbours banged doors and played music years ago, did you knock in and ask them to stop?
They have sent you a note and they have also knocked in, the noise is annoying them!

Sux2buthen · 20/09/2023 06:21

They're kids playing together in their own garden in reasonable hours. That's how life should be
I'd possibly say not before 9 if it was me but the rest is to be expected.

MsFrost · 20/09/2023 06:25

Well kids do make noise and need to be able to play outside. But I think you could compromise a bit with your neighbours. Ask them what time their baby is usually sleeping and tell your kids to be quieter at that time of day.

There's a middle ground here, it doesn't have to be a massive dispute.

What they did in the past is not relevant, don't hold a grudge. They've got a baby and are just trying to get some sleep/ rest.