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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my kids be loud outside?

293 replies

Imtheterribleneighbour · 20/09/2023 02:19

When my kids were babies the house next door was sold. The new owners were noisy, music on outside, car doors slamming at 2 in the morning, nothing serious just annoying. I asked them a couple of times if the could be considerate but it made no difference.

Now they have a baby and my kids play outside. They aren’t too bad, a little bit of shouting but the bouncing of a basketball is now the soundtrack to my life. I had a note a few weeks ago asking to limit the kids outside but ignored it. The neighbour has just been around and asked if my kids could stop bouncing the ball in the yard. I said as I already limit when they can be outside (it’s 830 - 845 in the morning and 330 -730 in the afternoon during the week and 930 - 800 on weekends) it’s not constantly happening in those times but limited to. I have said no you just have to live with it. He got upset as it’s annoying and wakes the baby. I said I understand as we had the same issue with them when the kids were little, but they will just have to live with it like we did.
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 20/09/2023 19:51

NonMiDispiace · 20/09/2023 09:57

Me too, 10.5 hours of bloody ball bouncing on a Saturday and a Sunday and the boinnng of it going through the hoop would make me feel murderous.
We had hours of trampolining for years from our neighbours, I resorted to wearing headphones or ear plugs when out in the garden.
I often think I was happier living far away from neighbours M

Show quote history

But that’s not what was said.

SkinnyMalinkyLankyLegs · 20/09/2023 20:15

Karma 🤷‍♀️

Northernladdette · 20/09/2023 20:19

This thread is hilarious, asking if she’s being unreasonable, then saying nothing is going to change 😂😂

Ladyluck22 · 20/09/2023 20:44

I would let your kids carry on playing. I would probably not have them out so early, but after school is fine. Baby will get used to the noise and as long as not late at night all should be fine.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 20/09/2023 20:45

Northernladdette · 20/09/2023 20:19

This thread is hilarious, asking if she’s being unreasonable, then saying nothing is going to change 😂😂

But op did say they would change the hours

Steev · 20/09/2023 21:27

Two hours of a ball bouncing. I think I would be ready to burst after that if it happened once let alone daily.

minipie · 20/09/2023 21:31

Can you get an outdoor rug ? Might deaden the bouncing noise.

AngelinaFibres · 20/09/2023 21:35

ZekeZeke · 20/09/2023 03:10

That repetitive bouncing noise of a basketball on concrete is one of the most annoying sounds ever. It can grate on my nerves, throw in screaming and shouting and I'd be fit to murder.

Do the neighbourly thing!

This. Basketballs ,footballs, any bloody balls. So incredibly annoying.

Kwasi · 20/09/2023 21:52

They made noise prior to having kids and didn’t know any better. You do know better and you’re only refusing to accommodate their request to get your revenge. How about you consider the actual baby and not your grudge?

Sunsetandsmiles · 20/09/2023 21:57

I’m so glad I was brought up in a time when kids were allowed to be kids and didn’t have to tip toe around out of fear of annoying a neighbour.

Let them play, let them laugh and make a bit of noise (within reason) rather than have them stuck indoors staring at a screen all day and night.

43ontherocksporfavor · 20/09/2023 22:00

I was brought up in the 70s so always played outdoors. But, my mum always taught us to not scream and shout outside. Laughing and playing is one thing but making lots of annoying noise like a constant bouncing basketball is inconsiderate.

Mumsanetta · 20/09/2023 22:01

I’m petty like you. Every time they complain I would remind them that i didn’t get to sleep past 7am for years because they insisted on keeping their car engine running for ages and woke my kids up. Or about that time I asked them to calm down with the late night parties and they didn’t. Or the slamming doors that disrupted my babies. I would finish with “it’s amazing what you learn to live with when you have noisy neighbours!”

caringcarer · 20/09/2023 22:01

Basketballs constantly thudding on concrete would drive me nuts. Can your DC go to a park to play. I'd take basketball and restrict to 2 hours at a weekend.

LuluBlakey1 · 20/09/2023 22:02

We had lovely neighbours at our old house but their (lovely) son bounced a basketball for hours and it drove us to distraction. It is an incessant, flat, noise and really, really annoying. It was one of the reasons we moved in the end- that and they then got a hot tub and put it up against the fence next to our patio outside our kitchen door- it made a constant humming noise and we could hear every single word, splash and they used it late at night. We hated it. Then they tired of it but it was left making the continual electrical humming noise constantly.

Basketball pounding is very inconsiderate.

Banderbear · 20/09/2023 22:04

Having a newborn can be so very difficult especially if suffering from PND. Not saying your neighbour is but the husband has been round to ask (politely, I assume) if your kids can be a bit more considerate with the noise. Instead of trying to empathise and actually parent your children, you’re holding a grudge over some slamming doors years ago. Seems a little bit childish.

Mumsanetta · 20/09/2023 22:04

”It’s funny that you’re coming round to complain about noise. When my kids were babies we had these neighbours who seemed to do their utmost to keep them awake. They just wouldn’t stop even after we spoke to them. I think it was before you guys moved in. Oh no, wait, it was you …” 😂

LaffTaff · 20/09/2023 22:05

Our neighbour's son had a basket ball hoop that he (mercifully!) got fed up of very quickly - the thud from a basketball is seriously annoying (10x worse than a football).
You can stick to your guns, but in a year or two their child will be in the garden possibly causing merry hell, and you may well wish you'd engaged in mutual consideration!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/09/2023 22:08

The words “reap” and “sow” come to mind tbh

Funnily enough basketball isn’t one of those noises that annoy me, though it seems to annoy many on here. It’s anything squeaky for me.

electriclight · 20/09/2023 22:11

I can see how this must be very satisfying for you. I think I'd enjoy ignoring their request too. But I don't think you can equate the occasional car door slam or loud music with the constant, repetitive, draining, infuriating sound of a ball bouncing for literally hours. It's like water torture. I'd have stabbed the ball with a screwdriver by now.

TorqueWrench · 20/09/2023 22:11

Imtheterribleneighbour · 20/09/2023 05:23

Two kids 8 and 10. The screaming is minimal, I think it’s the constant bouncing that is annoying (it annoys me too). Their noise was different. Loud music until 11 about once a month on a Saturday night. Car doors all the bloody time. Car running in driveway at 7 most mornings for fifteen minutes. It wasn’t bad enough to do anything about, but annoying when you have very young children. My kids aren’t outside all the time, some weekends it’s only for an hour, but sometimes it’s almost all day. I won’t make any week day changes, but I will limit the weekend to two hour blocks then to give it a rest for an hour.

Reading this they don't sound too bad tbh. Noise between 7-11 is within noise regulations and music once a month isn't exactly regular. Car doors are momentary and would barely make me stir. Hours of thudding basketballs sound much worse to me.

TorqueWrench · 20/09/2023 22:12

From what you say it doesn't sound like neighbours were making noise all day like your kids sometimes are.

Ineedaholidaylikenow · 20/09/2023 22:13

I was really keen to say YANBU but your description of what they actually were like, as annoying as it was, compared to your kids bouncing a ball loads AND this poor attitude towards parenting... nah YABU

SamWales · 20/09/2023 22:16

We unfortunately live in a very selfish and judgmental world these days.
If you let your children stay inside on electronics you are a bad parent, if you let your children play outside you are a bad neighbour.

The op said she doesn't let the children out too early or too late and that they are not outside all day everyday, that is conciderate.

The neighbours had no consideration regarding noise when your children were little but now want to change the standard that they set. That may sound harsh to some.

If you do limit you childrens time outside even further what will happen in the future? When their baby is older and is being noisy outside screaming and playing will they also limit their childs time outside?

I would not be petty.
I would just remind your children not to scream and shout to much outside out of respect in general.

Viviennemary · 20/09/2023 22:23

You both sound like the neighbours from hell. So I suppose it's six of one.

FunnysInLaJardin · 20/09/2023 22:24

dont let your kids bounce a ball outside at all, it is really annoying