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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Are my neighbours being petty?

115 replies

Asyousayit · 19/09/2023 23:44

I've lived in my house for 4 years and during that time I've had my children (2 girls) who can be loud and unruly but I've been considerate of neighbours as the neighbour on the other side is a lone elderly woman and we regularly communicate and get on well. We live in terraced houses, but lately they seem a bit pedantic. In the last few weeks we've done considerable garden work, chopping down a few trees and 1 was an apple tree on the boundary (but my side) of their new fence. They have never done this before, they have had their back garden done but it was 2 years ago and until we started garden work any unripe or spoiled apples weren't a problem. From this August any that fell in their garden they put in a bag and put on my doorstep... okay I might see a reason for that, but really a few spoiled apples? In the front garden they have also had a new fence on our side aswell (also 2 years ago) I have flowerbeds along their fence lines not of my choosing just was the previous tenants. However this year I planted nasturtiums in the flower beds and have still to this day maintained them. They had a few leaves creep under their fence and trimmed them (no problem to me) but they dumped the trimmings on my doorstep despite having a recycling bin for the council pick up which they don't use. Is that twattish or am I in the wrong?

OP posts:

Middleagedspreadisreal · 22/09/2023 09:09

Speak to them?

Isinglass20 · 22/09/2023 09:54

next time you see them, just apologise (without sarcasm
and smile) for your plants spreading into their garden. That’s all. We’re a small overcrowded island. We need to get on with each other and you may need their help in the future and also they may need your’s so be nice.

noodlebugz · 22/09/2023 11:08

Perhaps post the sandwich bag / receptacle these things came with through their letter box? That extra level of pettiness might give them a wake up call to their own level of petty?

Msbluebozooka · 22/09/2023 11:50

Just being petty , also to all you posters replying with negative advice about a crap post and shouldn’t be cutting trees down between May and October go and get a life , if you can’t say something positive don’t say it at all!!

Birch101 · 22/09/2023 11:52

It's the legal the thing to do. Also we pay for green bin collections so why would you pay to dispose of your neighbour's property

AnxiousPangolin · 22/09/2023 12:05

Birch101 · 22/09/2023 11:52

It's the legal the thing to do. Also we pay for green bin collections so why would you pay to dispose of your neighbour's property

It’s not the legal thing to do. The legal thing to do is to offer the cuttings back and if they don’t want them, dispose of them yourself. Dumping them on the doorstep is not the same thing.

Seriously, can people not read on here?

Scunnered123 · 22/09/2023 14:30

It's not legal, it's fly-tipping.

NoThanksymm · 22/09/2023 23:55

they are being weird!!!

yeah. That’s it. Sorry you b have to do it. But probably worth the confrontation.

what the heck is up?

as neighbours they can cut your leaves, and they can cut the apple tree that overhangs. But giving it back… if they aren’t being funny (even then) this is crazy odd behaviour.

AardvarkUmbrella · 23/09/2023 00:53

They feel annoyed that you cut down the trees without talking to them about it and this is their passive aggressive response.

I'm not suggesting you should have talked to them about the trees, but that doesn't stop them being annoyed. People get weird about things around property boundaries - perhaps in some way they had started to feel the trees were theirs.

The thing about giving small amounts of cuttings back is petty. Reasonable people do not do this.

nanamoo · 23/09/2023 20:31

Asyousayit · 20/09/2023 09:20

Also I need to add the garden recycling bin gets emptied for free, there isn't a charge. Someone mentioned my neighbour may have dementia, It's not the case it's a middle aged couple.

Dementia isn't always something only older people get, there's early onset dementia that can happen 30-65yr age range.

Chrisp63 · 26/09/2023 17:02

They are legally obliged to return any item from your plants to you. That is the law. Hope this is helpful.

AnxiousPangolin · 26/09/2023 17:39

Chrisp63 · 26/09/2023 17:02

They are legally obliged to return any item from your plants to you. That is the law. Hope this is helpful.

ONCE AGAIN for the hard of understanding:

They are legally obliged to offer cuttings back to the owner, not return them by dumping them on the doorstep. That is the law. Hope that’s helpful.

Scunnered123 · 26/09/2023 18:09

As pp makes clear it's not legal, it's fly-tipping.

Pinkfluff76 · 27/09/2023 13:33

Very petty
they could just put the stuff in their food waste bin!
Good luck

Original poster

Asyousayit · 30/09/2023 21:28

I won't be writing again as I've made up my mind... they ARE being petty. The apple tree that bordered their garden had been there for years before i moved in and left alot of rotten fruit in both our gardens (no they don't have a dog or pets, so wouldn't cause a health risk) they only started putting rotten apples in sarnie bags on my doorstep AFTER i chopped the tree down. Their garden has been paved/gravelled a long while so it's not like they were putting apples on my doorstep since they had a nice garden. I seen the neighbour the other day weeding her path and I said if any of my flowers come over to yours feel free to rip them up and bin them... think she got the point but I don't hold much optimism. The garden recycling bin is FREE and they don't fill theirs at all so it's not like they don't have space to dispose of a few ping pong sized apples and sprig of leaves. Goodnight! God bless! Won't be replying again 👍

OP posts:

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