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AIBU?

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Original poster

Are my neighbours being petty?

115 replies

Asyousayit · 19/09/2023 23:44

I've lived in my house for 4 years and during that time I've had my children (2 girls) who can be loud and unruly but I've been considerate of neighbours as the neighbour on the other side is a lone elderly woman and we regularly communicate and get on well. We live in terraced houses, but lately they seem a bit pedantic. In the last few weeks we've done considerable garden work, chopping down a few trees and 1 was an apple tree on the boundary (but my side) of their new fence. They have never done this before, they have had their back garden done but it was 2 years ago and until we started garden work any unripe or spoiled apples weren't a problem. From this August any that fell in their garden they put in a bag and put on my doorstep... okay I might see a reason for that, but really a few spoiled apples? In the front garden they have also had a new fence on our side aswell (also 2 years ago) I have flowerbeds along their fence lines not of my choosing just was the previous tenants. However this year I planted nasturtiums in the flower beds and have still to this day maintained them. They had a few leaves creep under their fence and trimmed them (no problem to me) but they dumped the trimmings on my doorstep despite having a recycling bin for the council pick up which they don't use. Is that twattish or am I in the wrong?

OP posts:
LookItsMeAgain · 20/09/2023 08:32

Asyousayit · 20/09/2023 00:59

There were 3 apples spoiled in a sandwich bag. They were the size of ping pong balls.

They weren't theirs to dispose of. You do get that, don't you?

Yes, the could have disposed of them but if they came from your tree, they were your apples and they were simply returning your apples to you, irrespective of the size of the apples. Same goes for any leaves/trimmings/twigs/whatever that come from plants on your side of the fence.

peacock2 · 20/09/2023 08:38

I would just say in a friendly way it's fine to cut anything that is over the border if needed as we can't see from the side obv, but no need to return the trimmings. Maybe they have had awful neighbours in the past and are just following the rules for if you have awful ones. I don't think it would be advisable to go round in an uptight way and fuel anything negative. Just pretend it's all friendly, even if it isn't.

AnxiousPangolin · 20/09/2023 08:39

londonrach · 20/09/2023 07:51

It's what legally they have to do. Not petty. I suspect they had issues before with cf neighbours so following what they legally have to do.

If I were you, I’d actually read up on what legally people are meant to do in this situation before posting.

Willmafrockfit · 20/09/2023 08:42

they are being petty
can you ask them why?

TitInATrance · 20/09/2023 08:42

My neighbours are lovely, I wouldn’t upset them for the world.

Their windfall apples falling into my grass are a nuisance, especially if/when they are full of slugs and get caught in the strimmer. Food items aren’t allowed in our garden bins so I don my rubber gloves and add them to the general waste. Wish they came in plastic bags in a tidy pile! You have the best of the deal, OP.

Original poster
Asyousayit · 20/09/2023 09:16

We chopped the apple tree down as it was diseased and we never had a good apple off it. I understand they apples and cuttings were from my garden but after so long living here they never done it before, thats why I'm airing on the side of them just being petty.

OP posts:
Original poster
Asyousayit · 20/09/2023 09:20

Also I need to add the garden recycling bin gets emptied for free, there isn't a charge. Someone mentioned my neighbour may have dementia, It's not the case it's a middle aged couple.

OP posts:
GnomeDePlume · 20/09/2023 09:36

Asyousayit · 20/09/2023 09:16

We chopped the apple tree down as it was diseased and we never had a good apple off it. I understand they apples and cuttings were from my garden but after so long living here they never done it before, thats why I'm airing on the side of them just being petty.

It's an odd thing to do. Possibly symptomatic of something else going on in their lives. People do odd things when stressed about something.

Willmafrockfit · 20/09/2023 09:39

my neighbours started banging on the walls when i was putting my dc to bed at @8.30 pm.
turns out they were emigrating and he was trying to go to bed at 8.30!
good riddance, quite unnecessary and surprising though

Cloudysky81 · 20/09/2023 09:42

The apples part is understandable, the trimmings maybe less so.
They might just be doing what they think you have to do. It doesn't seem that malicious unless there's other associated behaviour.

Myfabby · 20/09/2023 09:45

Asyousayit · 20/09/2023 09:16

We chopped the apple tree down as it was diseased and we never had a good apple off it. I understand they apples and cuttings were from my garden but after so long living here they never done it before, thats why I'm airing on the side of them just being petty.

erring. not airing.

Cherrylily7 · 20/09/2023 09:52

I wish this was the extent of my problems with my deranged neighbour
Doesn't sound like much of an issue to me

Motomum23 · 20/09/2023 09:58

Talk to them OP. Shame them with niceness. 'Hi since you have been leaving trimming/apples on my doorstep I get the impression there may be a problem that you don't feel able to approach me about. How can I help in this situation? I cut back my apple tree to stop the apples dropping on your patio so hopefully that won't be an issue now - if the plants are creeping under your fence please feel free to use my green bin for the trimmings'. Be incredibly polite and upfront... it's very difficult to get angry with someone who is reasonable and doesn't get angry back.

Willmafrockfit · 20/09/2023 10:00

well the apples are gone now
and i am sure the nasturtiums might be gone soon.

Scunnered123 · 20/09/2023 10:06

It's fly tipping. My neighbours do it, only they don't even bag it up, just throw it over the fence. It's very annoying and really rude. They're entitled to offer (you don't have to accept) the cuttings/fruit back but not just dump it.

longtompot · 20/09/2023 14:09

I don't know if it's different where you are, but our council says we can't put windfall apples in our green compost bin that they collect.
The few leaves does sound a bit odd though.

Laguera · 20/09/2023 14:46

I actually totally thought you had to throw the cuttings over by law, having had a previous neighbour do it to me! I’ve probably now annoyed my current neighbour 🙈 Maybe they’ve been told this is the thing to do, given that most people seem to think it?

NeedMyDress · 20/09/2023 14:53

Sounds incredibly petty. Next time you see them mention it and ask if your plants are causing a problem for them (ridiculous). Hopefully they will be embarrassed and realise how pathetic they're being.

Northernladdette · 20/09/2023 15:05

Choose your battles, ignore it, it’s pathetic 😩

ReadingSoManyThreads · 20/09/2023 15:09

londonrach · 20/09/2023 07:51

It's what legally they have to do. Not petty. I suspect they had issues before with cf neighbours so following what they legally have to do.

No it's not. Legally, they have to OFFER them but if the neighbours says they do not want them back then they have to dispose of it themselves.

beanii · 20/09/2023 15:15

It's what you're supposed to do by law.

ManateeFair · 20/09/2023 15:18

Yes, they're being petty.

JudgeRudy · 20/09/2023 15:19

It's a bit petty but not wrong. Why don't you just stop encroaching on their garden...yhere, problem solved!

AlwaysHappy1 · 20/09/2023 15:47

No it's not!

maddiemookins16mum · 20/09/2023 16:30

I really thought this would be about loud and unruly kids.