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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are my neighbours being petty?

115 replies

Asyousayit · 19/09/2023 23:44

I've lived in my house for 4 years and during that time I've had my children (2 girls) who can be loud and unruly but I've been considerate of neighbours as the neighbour on the other side is a lone elderly woman and we regularly communicate and get on well. We live in terraced houses, but lately they seem a bit pedantic. In the last few weeks we've done considerable garden work, chopping down a few trees and 1 was an apple tree on the boundary (but my side) of their new fence. They have never done this before, they have had their back garden done but it was 2 years ago and until we started garden work any unripe or spoiled apples weren't a problem. From this August any that fell in their garden they put in a bag and put on my doorstep... okay I might see a reason for that, but really a few spoiled apples? In the front garden they have also had a new fence on our side aswell (also 2 years ago) I have flowerbeds along their fence lines not of my choosing just was the previous tenants. However this year I planted nasturtiums in the flower beds and have still to this day maintained them. They had a few leaves creep under their fence and trimmed them (no problem to me) but they dumped the trimmings on my doorstep despite having a recycling bin for the council pick up which they don't use. Is that twattish or am I in the wrong?

OP posts:
Myrrhanda · 20/09/2023 18:05

What others have said about them being legally obliged to offer the trimmings / fruit to you is true, but not the end of the story. If you don't want them it is their responsibility to dispose of them, dumping them on your is fly-tipping and is illegal. But to be honest I'd ignore the behaviour in the interests of remaining on good terms.

DogInATent · 20/09/2023 18:15

Asyousayit · 20/09/2023 02:01

How would I broach that. 'Knock, knock, knock' "oooooh hi ..... are you being funny with me or is there an issue with your bin?... see you soon!"

You're an adult.
Do some adulting.

MsFrost · 20/09/2023 18:29

My only thought is they've obviously been reading mumsnet and seen the advice on here about neighbours and gardens 😂

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 20/09/2023 18:30

They are silly and could have just put them in their bin. Ridiculous and just ignore them and carry on.

DoesMaryNotDrive · 20/09/2023 18:35

Did you ever thank them for clearing the apples?

I used to trim our joint bush but they never thanked me so I stopped doing their side.

A bit of chat goes a long way.

mycoffeecup · 20/09/2023 19:17

They are entirely entitled to do that - if they're doing it to annoy you then ignoring it is probably the best way forward!

DixonD · 20/09/2023 19:19

DontLeanOnTheKeyboard · 20/09/2023 00:09

That’s what the law says they should do. If you don’t have neighbourly communication, then that’s how it works. Maybe try speaking to them instead of posting on here?

No, it’s not.

You’re meant to OFFER the trimmings, not fly tip them.

DixonD · 20/09/2023 19:20

mycoffeecup · 20/09/2023 19:17

They are entirely entitled to do that - if they're doing it to annoy you then ignoring it is probably the best way forward!

No they’re not.

IslandsInTheSunshine · 20/09/2023 19:21

Legally, any shrubs or fruit that overhangs and is cut down has to be returned to the owner.

I doubt they are being petty, more trying to tell you that they didn't like the mess of your rotten apples.

AInightingale · 20/09/2023 19:23

Did the cutting down of the trees make a mess which has annoyed them?

IslandsInTheSunshine · 20/09/2023 19:24

There is some nonsense here.

Putting the apples which belong to the OP back onto her doorstep is not fly tipping!

What planet are you guys on?

The apples belong to the OP.
If the neighbour kept them she'd be stealing.

Legally, you have to return fruit etc to the owner of the trees if they land in your garden.

CClaire · 20/09/2023 19:27

Are you sure they use the garden waste collection service? Does it cost extra? If so, sounds like they probably don’t subscribe to it if they have nothing that needs maintaining.

Many people are just weird. I’m not sure it would rile me. Unless you live alone with your girls and it’s maybe making you feel a bit spooked? 🤷‍♀️

edit: oh sorry just seen you said collection service is included. Bit weird then!

sandyhappypeople · 20/09/2023 19:28

Do they have a dog? Apple seeds can be poisonous to dogs as well as spoiled fruit can upset their digestion, maybe this is their non confrontational way of saying they aren’t happy with rotten fruit dropping into their garden. Maybe they’re hoping you’ll cut it back more? you could always just ask them in a non confrontational way if there’s a problem?

CaroleSinger · 20/09/2023 19:29

Asyousayit · 20/09/2023 09:16

We chopped the apple tree down as it was diseased and we never had a good apple off it. I understand they apples and cuttings were from my garden but after so long living here they never done it before, thats why I'm airing on the side of them just being petty.

But they never had a nice patio before, right? It could be they just don't want the mess, you may find it petty but they might have been sick of clearing them up every year. They are actually within their rights to return them regardless if they only started doing it recently. Maybe they wanted to do it for a long time and only just found the backbone..

MereDintofPandiculation · 20/09/2023 19:31

IslandsInTheSunshine · 20/09/2023 19:21

Legally, any shrubs or fruit that overhangs and is cut down has to be returned to the owner.

I doubt they are being petty, more trying to tell you that they didn't like the mess of your rotten apples.

Aaaargh!!!! It has to be offered. Not returned.

MereDintofPandiculation · 20/09/2023 19:32

CaroleSinger · 20/09/2023 19:29

But they never had a nice patio before, right? It could be they just don't want the mess, you may find it petty but they might have been sick of clearing them up every year. They are actually within their rights to return them regardless if they only started doing it recently. Maybe they wanted to do it for a long time and only just found the backbone..

Show quote history

No they are not within their rights. As many PP have pointed out

jc12689 · 20/09/2023 19:34

They're not offering anything. They're dumping them on the doorstep.

CaroleSinger · 20/09/2023 19:37

MereDintofPandiculation · 20/09/2023 19:31

Aaaargh!!!! It has to be offered. Not returned.

Show quote history

Correct. They are misinterpreting the law but they clearly have a problem with the tree.

From the RHS:

What do I do with the prunings?
Once branches are cut off they should be offered back to the tree owner. If the owner doesn’t want them then you will be responsible for disposing of the prunings; you can’t simply throw them over the boundary into your neighbour’s garden!

CaroleSinger · 20/09/2023 19:39

MereDintofPandiculation · 20/09/2023 19:32

No they are not within their rights. As many PP have pointed out

Show quote history

Well clearly it's pissing them off isn't it?

AInightingale · 20/09/2023 19:39

If you had a lot of very big, tall trees and they were dropping leaves every year, your neighbours will have had to rake them up and they would have made the grass boggy. is this maybe why they paved their garden? I wouldn't personally but some very fussy people might get annoyed. Some people don't speak up, just sit in silence and fulminate for years. It has the feel of 'oh there's STILL some of her bloody stuff falling over here, Derek. I'm going to dump them at her door, that'll show her.'

Cuttysark4321 · 20/09/2023 19:48

It's petty but suspect it might be a generational thing rather than anything personal.

Dfghy678 · 20/09/2023 19:54

You should have kept the apples and put the sandwich bag on their doorstep 🤣

allydoobs83 · 20/09/2023 20:01

Clefable · 20/09/2023 00:04

Maybe they've read all the MN neighbour dispute threads about the owner of the tree/plants being entitled to trimmings when stuff overhangs and have been a bit over-zealous!

Definitely this.....though maybe Gransnet lol

Thighdentitycrisis · 20/09/2023 20:07

No. I think they are in the wrong and have completely misunderstood.

yes, they must offer you the arisings from plants growing on your land.

Think back to the days when people burnt wood for fuel or used it for fencing etc, the off cuts would be of use and value to the owner of the tree. If they cut off bits of your tree that overhang their land and kept them, they would be “stealing”

no, you don’t have to accept them. So you can give them back and say thanks but I don’t need these

tuvamoodyson · 20/09/2023 20:12

Asyousayit · 20/09/2023 02:01

How would I broach that. 'Knock, knock, knock' "oooooh hi ..... are you being funny with me or is there an issue with your bin?... see you soon!"

Well…no. Why would you use that approach?