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Original poster

I still fancy RB

656 replies

WesterChick · 19/09/2023 23:16

I've watched the documentary.

I still fancy RB.

I identify as a radical feminist.

I'm married with kids.

I think that if you are a heterosexual woman, you are either in denial on what men are or you accept what they are but find them irresistibly sexually attractive and so continue to be with them.

RB is simply what the vast majority of men would be like if they could get away with it.

Therefore - and because he's bloody good looking, funny and intelligent - and sexy - I will continue to fancy the pants off him.

I think women who are being all shocked and descusted at his behaviour need to consider what men are actually like. There's not some massive demarcation between him and other men.

OP posts:
Nemesias · 20/09/2023 08:47

I don’t think he’s half as clever as he thinks he is - he doesn’t know what baroque means after all, but he uses the word anyway

richteaftw · 20/09/2023 08:49

I remember first clapping eyes on him during the Big Brother days. I was not a fan of his scrawny weasel face and thought he was a pest.

AvocadotoastORahouse · 20/09/2023 08:50

MoorlandWanderer · 20/09/2023 07:35

I have been pondering actually along similar lines. Not that I fancy him because this has utterly repulsed me and made me quite literally feel sick.

But I’ve been thinking: Brand’s behaviour went unchecked in those years because he was living in and crucially a product of the culture of the time. So, not all men behaved the way he did but the mindset towards women permitted this behaviour. We know it was permitted because- listen to all those hundreds of people laughing in his audience in the documentary, listen to the women who worked for him who gave his number to audience members etc etc.

I think he should atone for his despicable actions (and they ARE despicable- we know that now - no one should be forced to do anything with their body against their will) but I think in singling him out, we are conveniently blinkering ourselves to the whole culture at the time - in which a great many of us were unwittingly complicit.

In making him into a monster, we can conveniently pretend he existed in a vacuum rather than being a rather extreme version of the culture of the time.

I keep using the word convenient because it is more comfortable to think he’s this outlying monster than face the reality that we were all (if we were an adult at the time) complicit to some degree. And it’s more comfortable for the media and those around him at the time to stay away from him and vilify him than admit they were complicit in this culture too.

Great post

Mrsjayy · 20/09/2023 08:50

Yeah using flouncey words and waving your arms about doesn't make you intellectual.

richteaftw · 20/09/2023 08:50

I remember first clapping eyes on him during the Big Brother days. I was not a fan of his scrawny weasel face and thought he was a pest.

Graciebobcat · 20/09/2023 08:52

You have men issues, OP.

I never liked him, he clearly doesn't wash often. Looks filthy in all the wrong ways.

BertieBotts · 20/09/2023 08:53

I think there are a lot of men who would behave like RB if they had the opportunity. Absolutely.

That to me is why it's not difficult to believe the victims and also why it's so important to pursue prosecution and make a clear statement that society in general does not accept this kind of behaviour any more.

SadnapTwapples · 20/09/2023 08:53

5128gap · 20/09/2023 08:33

I'd imagine she doesn't and that's the point of the thread, to discuss something she finds hugely conflicting. Not all circles can be squared because most of us find we are at times at odds with the values we would like to live by and the things we want to do. Which is why good people are comfortable being more wealthy than they ever need to be knowing that others can't feed their children for example.
We deploy various tools of cognitive dissonance, denial, excuses, willful blindness to enable us to come to terms with the things we want to do but know we shouldn't.
I'm not saying I agree with the OP on this particular 4 sided circle, but as a general principle I think this is what people do.

Show quote history

That rings true to me

Funkyslippers · 20/09/2023 08:53

One of my friends teenage daughters came out as a lesbian recently and my friend confessed to feeling relieved that she wouldn't be dealing with predatory and controlling men.

Speaking from personal experience she'll still have predatory men to deal with, and predatory and controlling women!

mydogisthebest · 20/09/2023 08:54

Judging by the other threads, you are in the minority thinking he is good looking. On there the general view is that he is definitely guilty because he is scruffy/dirty/ugly/greasy etc.

pickledandpuzzled · 20/09/2023 08:54

I like the piratical look. Liked David Essex way back when, Graziano in strictly now.

If you like blond preppy types you won't like RB, it doesn't mean he isn't attractive.

BertieBotts · 20/09/2023 08:54

And it's called rape culture. Rape culture has been a part of feminist discourse for decades.

Funkyslippers · 20/09/2023 08:56

He is disgusting to look at in my opinion. He's also not remotely funny and doesn't come across as intelligent. And I don't believe a word he said in his recent video

Switcher · 20/09/2023 08:58

That is quite a thought provoking view.

sunglassesonthetable · 20/09/2023 09:01

And I think it's an interesting area to think about. It would be helpful to analyse why men like him succeed. What is it about them that leads some women to respond despite their rational brain warning them off.

He became so powerful in the areas he worked in.

Seemed to bounce higher and higher whatever he did or said.

In TV , 'the talent' hold so much sway.

Mrsjayy · 20/09/2023 09:01

pickledandpuzzled · 20/09/2023 08:54

I like the piratical look. Liked David Essex way back when, Graziano in strictly now.

If you like blond preppy types you won't like RB, it doesn't mean he isn't attractive.

But they are attractive men although I have children older that Graziano but still Russel Brand isn't attractive he has always looked sleazy to me, his thing was a "modern day dandy" hence the flowery language and flouncey arms he is/!was repulsive

sunglassesonthetable · 20/09/2023 09:03

Confidence and wow HE IS CONFIDENT.
Ego the size of a small planet.

Confidence and Power seem to be very, very attractive to lots of people.

Chrispackhamspoodle · 20/09/2023 09:11

I really , really fancied him in the noughties.Then again I had terrible taste for men and went for guys who were like my Dad.Therapy and meeting a really good guy and letting him love me sorted that thank god.But I can recount experiences with narcissistic boyfriends like Brand when I was younger which I look back on now and and realise were toxic, abusive and involved non consensual acts to put it nicely.So yeah - I can see why he was my type.
I wrongly thought Brand's comedy about woman was an act- it was so out in the open.Plus look at the "dark humour" about rape at that time by people like Chris Morris.It wasn't unusual.I remember calling out a bunch of male and female educated friends about not finding a Morris rape joke funny and being humiliated for not getting it as clever ,dark humour.Also a lot of Brand's humour was funny to me at the time- quick and sharp witted.I'm not going to deny that now I realise he is a rapist.The Andew Sachs thing made me dislike him -so nasty and arrogant.And I tried to listen to revolution on audible and it was unbearable.

Flapjacker48 · 20/09/2023 09:12

Airhead or Troll.

Bralessandfree · 20/09/2023 09:18

What I've found really obvious about him is he is so controlling. He derails interviews and takes power from women by using "flirtation"...he doesn't fancy all women that's total bullshit, his behaviour shows he humiliates them and embarrasses them. You seem them laughing but this doesn't mean they find it funny. It's awkward and uncomfortable. He bamboozles them and detracts from the interview...as he wants...he gets the power. He's aggressive in his so called 'flirtations'.

His pathetic character of an unabashed dandy with big words intimidated men making them complicit - they wouldn't want him to turn his 'attention' to them and do what he does to women to them. Yes that's you JR.

Mrsjayy · 20/09/2023 09:23

I have Lorraine Kelly on, she showed a clip from a chat show where RB totally disarmed her by suggesting she was wearing suspenders i mean of course there was laughter because what else was she to do .but it just put all the attention onto RB, I can't believe that was his whole act to humiliate women and he made his living doing this!

Hobnobswantshernameback · 20/09/2023 09:26

This place has become a rape apologists paradise
so much for the "we believe you campaign "

KimberleyClark · 20/09/2023 09:26

I have never fancied him or liked him. Has always looked in need of a good wash to me.

5YearsLeft · 20/09/2023 09:28

OP - I’m willing to engage as MNHQ have said you’re not a troll and are a long-standing member.

If you really feel this way, that most men would be like him if they could, I feel desperately sad. It says a lot about the interactions you’ve had with men in general.

Like a lot of women, I was a victim of rape. However, that was when I was 20 and I’m now almost twice that age, and I’ve met so many more kind, considerate, safe, supportive, worthwhile men in those two decades than I’ve met horrible, sexist, rape-y bastards. If your experience has been the opposite, no wonder you feel this way, and have this view, and no wonder you’re able to find RB attractive and separate that from his actions.

I’ve never been able to find him attractive and the stories out of the UK and Hollywood of him being absolutely horrific to those who work for him were bad enough, without adding in the elements of sexism and sexual violence. He ALWAYS looked like you could scrape him with a cotton bud, grow that in a Petri dish, and develop a few new weapons-grade STIs.

I understand it may be too late to change engrained opinions, if you’ve run into more horrible men than decent ones, and I know that even just a few really horrible ones can burn you on them forever, but I hope in the future (including now), you’ll get the treatment from men that you deserve 💐

Original poster
WesterChick · 20/09/2023 09:29

5YearsLeft · 20/09/2023 09:28

OP - I’m willing to engage as MNHQ have said you’re not a troll and are a long-standing member.

If you really feel this way, that most men would be like him if they could, I feel desperately sad. It says a lot about the interactions you’ve had with men in general.

Like a lot of women, I was a victim of rape. However, that was when I was 20 and I’m now almost twice that age, and I’ve met so many more kind, considerate, safe, supportive, worthwhile men in those two decades than I’ve met horrible, sexist, rape-y bastards. If your experience has been the opposite, no wonder you feel this way, and have this view, and no wonder you’re able to find RB attractive and separate that from his actions.

I’ve never been able to find him attractive and the stories out of the UK and Hollywood of him being absolutely horrific to those who work for him were bad enough, without adding in the elements of sexism and sexual violence. He ALWAYS looked like you could scrape him with a cotton bud, grow that in a Petri dish, and develop a few new weapons-grade STIs.

I understand it may be too late to change engrained opinions, if you’ve run into more horrible men than decent ones, and I know that even just a few really horrible ones can burn you on them forever, but I hope in the future (including now), you’ll get the treatment from men that you deserve 💐

Thank you. I'm married.

OP posts: