I still fancy RB

[WesterChick]

I've watched the documentary.

I still fancy RB.

I identify as a radical feminist.

I'm married with kids.

I think that if you are a heterosexual woman, you are either in denial on what men are or you accept what they are but find them irresistibly sexually attractive and so continue to be with them.

RB is simply what the vast majority of men would be like if they could get away with it.

Therefore - and because he's bloody good looking, funny and intelligent - and sexy - I will continue to fancy the pants off him.

I think women who are being all shocked and descusted at his behaviour need to consider what men are actually like. There's not some massive demarcation between him and other men.

I haven't HTH. Whether he's guilty of criminal offences or not, it's pretty clear he was predatory and that those who employed him indulged his poor behaviour for the media exposure.

So you're happy to have a rape apologist goady posting then?

Seriously disappointed

Tbh I don't remember much about him in the 90s apart from he was loud and annoying but when I watch the doc back last
Night

1. He is an entitled misogynist who believes women are there for his gratification. I can say if he is guilty of rape

But his open behaviour is unsavoury and borders in indecent

1. I am staggered he was allowed to perform comedy routines of that nature on main stream tv and we all accepted it. Any comedian that tried that now would

Be lambasted. So I guess we are moving on in society

I guess it's all now in the uncontrolled internet.

I think you must have come across some seedy men. As I did in my twenties when I found sexy shaggers irresistible. But none of them would’ve done the things he’s alleged to have done if I’d showed any reluctance. They’d just move on. Because most of them had been raised to be respectful-not taken to another country by their dad who treated him to sessions with prostitutes. When you get older, you wise up-maybe that’s why he and others went for the young ones. Btw, my son is 25 and is deeply in love with his lovely girlfriend-he would never behave like this even if he could get away with it-because he’s happy.

Would most men behave like RB "if they could get away with it?"

No I don't think most men would.

Promiscuous and consensual sexual encounters are one thing. Yeah possibly in young men, and hell I think many already do have those with consenting adult females.

Raping women? No I don't think "most men" would do that. Even in their young and perhaps promiscuous years.

RB personally leaves me cold. He's all yours.

I am very against the witch hunt though. Due process and all that, get these cases into court and tried properly then I might listen to the documentaries etc. Until then he's just another sleazy bloke and there's plenty of those in the world.already. Thankfully I suspect they are a minority.

I think men are generally problematic and are conditioned to behave appropriately by societal expectations.

In a purge like situation I would be terrified of a lot of men I see on a daily basis because I think generally the veneer of respectability is thin. That applies generally to behaviours - I think women would also behave poorly but not rape people.

I think a lot of men (and women) think his victims aren't victims because they'd already had sex with him, went there voluntarily etc etc.

I'm not surprised some women still fancy him.

I am not one of them.

I’ve always found men like
that a massive turn off.

I remember reading a survey in which college-age men in America were asked if they would rape a woman, most (not all!) said no. Then they were asked if they'd have sex with a woman who didn't want it or couldn't say no - basically, different phrasing that didn't say the actual word - and most said yes. So there you see the attitudes behind the epidemic of college rape, and I don't think it's different here. Marital rape was only outlawed in England in the 90s so there was a belief enshrined in law that women don't always have the right to say no.

I don't want to think I know any rapists, from my gentle and kind husband, sweet sons, nice friends and colleagues - but I absolutely will. The popularity of violent, degrading, non-consensual sex in which women receive no pleasure and are made to cry and gag in porn speaks volumes in itself.

All of that said, I don't know how someone could hear in particular Brand's 16 year old victim describe her oral rape and what he did to her afterwards and still find him attractive. And I cannot believe the majority of men aspire to do that, I just can't.

I think that many men would behave like him if they thought they could pull it off.

But I don't understand how you are not completely turned off by a violent sleazy manipulative abuser.
Physical appearance is personal taste but he is an awful person, at the very very least.

I don't know any hetero men like him nor work with men like that. It's like saying some cosmetically enhanced Porno woman is what all women would really like if all women could get away with it.
.
What a ludicrous thing to believe.

Denial?! RB looks evil to me and narcissists do not appeal.

Obviously a lot of women are blinded by celeb status and are gullible to believing / worshipping guru/ cult like figures.

That loads of men do it and get away with it doesn’t mean all men are like that.

And knowing someone was a rapist would certainly mean I was no longer attracted to them.

and because he's bloody good looking

Should have gone to Specsavers

funny and intelligent

Nope

and sexy - I will continue to fancy the pants off him

I'm struggling to find anything sexy about a seedy, louche walking STI rapist who demeans women. He isn't even good looking. And that whiney voice is horrible.

Everything about him is ew, and I think you either have very low boundaries, have never met a decent guy or are on the wind up.

I am amazed that so many women found him attractive enough to sleep with him. Although some of them didn't.

(And yes I've been raped and sexually assaulted several times).

A husband raping his wife was legal until 1996(!). In your world that should have meant every husband would have been raping his wife if he wasn't getting what he wanted?

If I genuinely believed that all men would be rapists if they could get away with it then I wouldn't be able to find any man attractive again.

As a PP says, the fact you still find RB attractive despite him being so vile does point to some unresolved trauma.

I really do think you should work this one through in therapy.

Are you in a relationship? Do you tend to pick bastards?

Oh sweetheart, that's not intelligence (nor good looking, nor sexy). He needs a good wash for a start.

Oh and OP, you need to raise your standards.

No OP, just No. I'm actually lost for words.

I have been pondering actually along similar lines. Not that I fancy him because this has utterly repulsed me and made me quite literally feel sick.

But I’ve been thinking: Brand’s behaviour went unchecked in those years because he was living in and crucially a product of the culture of the time. So, not all men behaved the way he did but the mindset towards women permitted this behaviour. We know it was permitted because- listen to all those hundreds of people laughing in his audience in the documentary, listen to the women who worked for him who gave his number to audience members etc etc.

I think he should atone for his despicable actions (and they ARE despicable- we know that now - no one should be forced to do anything with their body against their will) but I think in singling him out, we are conveniently blinkering ourselves to the whole culture at the time - in which a great many of us were unwittingly complicit.

In making him into a monster, we can conveniently pretend he existed in a vacuum rather than being a rather extreme version of the culture of the time.

I keep using the word convenient because it is more comfortable to think he’s this outlying monster than face the reality that we were all (if we were an adult at the time) complicit to some degree. And it’s more comfortable for the media and those around him at the time to stay away from him and vilify him than admit they were complicit in this culture too.

You've already had a similar post removed yesterday. Why is anyone engaging?

My partner watched the documentary and texted me to say how sickening it was. Not all men behave in this way op and it's worrying you think otherwise.

I'm not sure he is, I think he chucks unusual words in to sound as if he's articulate. I don't understand his use of the word "baroque" in his statement. It jarred for me.

This. Seriously, wtf?

I do agree with Moorland Warrior too.

I've never found him attractive but I definitely remember being enough of a fan around 2007-2008 to buy and read his first book.

When I was watching the documentary I felt horrified by the stand up clips shown and I keep searching through my memory to figure out...

Have I seen them before?

Did I think they were funny then? If I did see them why wasn't I horrified?

The logic of this is all sorts of twisted as PPs have pointed out. I don’t think you’re a rape apologist just confused.

What I find most troubling is that you call yourself a “radical feminist” but admit you are turned on by rapey and misogynist behaviour.

You can’t help your sexual hard-wiring of course but because you are attracted to this one very unfeminist bloke you are extrapolating that this is what turns all women on and we have to just go with it.

We really don’t. There is a lot of behaviour like this in men, sadly but there’s nothing archetypal or inevitable about this and plenty of men are able to go through life without raping or sexually harassing women and remain largely faithful.

But I totally agree about his hair and chest! He was so far from my type to start with.