I still fancy RB

[WesterChick]

I've watched the documentary.

I still fancy RB.

I identify as a radical feminist.

I'm married with kids.

I think that if you are a heterosexual woman, you are either in denial on what men are or you accept what they are but find them irresistibly sexually attractive and so continue to be with them.

RB is simply what the vast majority of men would be like if they could get away with it.

Therefore - and because he's bloody good looking, funny and intelligent - and sexy - I will continue to fancy the pants off him.

I think women who are being all shocked and descusted at his behaviour need to consider what men are actually like. There's not some massive demarcation between him and other men.

And OP still finds RB attractive.

Now that is man-hating. Unlike the very legitimate responses to the many desperate OPs, urging them recognize that their partner is an abuser, or suggesting that a woman's place isn't setting herself on fire to keep men warm.

I'm also very surprised to see the post from HQ upthread. A new Mumsnet low.

Sorry, jumping back on here because I forgot to mention this before.

he gives off proper charmer/narcissist vibes and maybe because I grew up with my dad being the exact same but with these types you can see they’re so so damaged on the inside.

with the sex addiction thing as well he’s just using that to feel something (can’t as he’s too numb to it all) the shag means nothing to him emotionally, does that not put you off?

I just feel even if he was attractive and you find the fact that he’s a misogynist sexy because it validates your own internalised misogyny, he STILL gives off proper abuser vibes

Most people - men AND women overlook this, including feminists.
That’s why I don’t really believe that most people are pro-women.

So…

You would actively like to have sex with a man who you know won’t stop if you tell him no.

That is very, very fucked up. You should explore this with a therapist.

That really didn’t answer anything.

I'm a feminist. You clearly aren't. You do however appear to be a rape apologist.

I think you have major issues. Possibly trauma related and should seek help. Good luck.

Seriously? He's always looked like walking chlamydia.

The OP’s views are not in any way representative of either radical feminism or straight gen X women, but thanks for sharing your own bias.

Me too OP

And the moment he does so ... 'Parklife!'

Except that he's more accurately described as pondlife.

Efacsen

I would call myself a radfem proper but I don't know if I'd be allowed in after this thread!

I'm calling myself out here, complete cognitive dissonance. I do think all men fantasise about underage women and girls, I do think most men would have as much sex as possible with as many women as possible given half the chance.

I'm married, but if I wasn't, if I held the beliefs I do now and was single and child free I probably wouldn't date men despite my biological impulse to do so.

I don't see much call to political lesbianism anywhere in modern feminism but there probably should be.

@WesterChick
Your bar is as low as a snakes belly.
You are no feminist.

Hes always been vile

Women can still flirt and at any time say no.

Fair, thanks. I probably won't though because it wouldn't solve anything.

Allegedly he changed, I wouldn’t know. What I saw back in the days was some annoying person, making everything about sex and with a complete lack of boundaries. I never thought he would be a rapist but he did come across as he would sh*g anything - and never stop begging for sex (with anyone who was unlucky enough to be close). I didn’t and don’t find that attractive. Apparently some did?

if anyone still finds him attractive, now in awareness that maybe he also was a rapist and that he had a sexual, partially violent relationship with (although legal) someone I would consider a child… I do think you may need to explore this with a professional. I really mean this in the best possible way.

I don't understand the posters (and there are lots) saying that because I fancy him I'm not a feminist.

Wow

I'm a feminist and unfortunately beleive that while NAMALT, way too many are.

But like most feminists capable of critical thinking I also know that there are many good men out there. They may have some work to do on calling out misogyny more but they are absolutely nothing like the alleged rapist RB

Ah hi. In a thread with hundreds of comments there's another one

And this is why no one takes radical feminism seriously anymore. Ah well, men will be men, it’s just how they are, and women will be women so they’ll be attracted to men like that, just the circle of life!! BRUH

This is not, not anything appropriating radical feminism, or any other kind of feminism.

On a more serious point, it's probably the product of a combination of a history of trauma and the sort of pervasive social conditioning which views behaviour like Brand's as cool, misogyny as acceptable, and abusive rapists as 'attractive'.

2023, and here we still are. Extreme, ingrained, overt or internalized misogyny is a very tight, complex, deeply embedded knot to unpick.

Because you don’t believe that women are equal to men. If you want to have sex with a rapist, then you are saying it’s okay for women to accept being raped, i.e. that a man’s sexual desire is more important than a woman’s agency over her body, and she should be subjugated to his will.

So, you aim to reshape society and restructure its institutions, which you see as inherently patriarchal?

OP, this man seems to view most women as only someone to have sex with. In pursuing this, he seems to have no consideration for the feelings of the women he hurt to the extent that he doesn’t seem to consider them human. There is also a power imbalance in many of these sexual relationships.

i personally am put off by men who treat women badly and not seem to consider them human. If you either find that attractive or think that you can change him, that would go against some feminist principles….

The radical feminist position to take is that all PIV sex is rape. So none of what I'm saying should be a surprise or considered anti feminist.

I'm not defending him. I'm just saying my biology makes me attracted to him.