I still fancy RB

[WesterChick]

I've watched the documentary.

I still fancy RB.

I identify as a radical feminist.

I'm married with kids.

I think that if you are a heterosexual woman, you are either in denial on what men are or you accept what they are but find them irresistibly sexually attractive and so continue to be with them.

RB is simply what the vast majority of men would be like if they could get away with it.

Therefore - and because he's bloody good looking, funny and intelligent - and sexy - I will continue to fancy the pants off him.

I think women who are being all shocked and descusted at his behaviour need to consider what men are actually like. There's not some massive demarcation between him and other men.

I've experienced assault (age 12) and then coercive control and rape (age 16, same night two different men).

So yes I've experienced this and is till think you're taking out of your backside .

Yes!!!!@5128gap bang on point!

What the hell kind of radical feminism have you been reading?

Valerie Solanas is not a representative sample.

I see men as a lost cause.

Probably due to trauma.

A lot of men defenders on here saying NAMALT so it's presumably on my own experiences that I think it is All Men.

So.

To be clear if I was vocal about people who abuse sex based rights I could get banned but OP can say all men are basically rapists.

Good to know

Or rather, a good example that "I identify as" is as good as saying "I'm pretending to be something I'm not". OP's post is as far from what a radical feminist would say as anything I've seen in ages.

To be fair @WesterChick I get it, I probably would still shag him. But I have a fair few kinks.

I’ve always had a radar for wrong un’s. Fortunately saw sense and married a good un eventually. But yeah, probably would. DH gave me a withering look the other night when we watched the programme and said “you still would, wouldn’t you.” and he actually worked with him in his TV days (DH is ex TV production). I’m clearly that transparent.

He’s a complete bastard obviously. I think he has behaved appallingly and I do believe the allegations. Not minimising it at all.

DH worked on some absolutely awful programmes though where that culture was rife in the 90’s and early 00’s. It wasn’t right but RB was booked because it is what everyone wanted.

RB is still less of a cunt than Chris Evans (who was DH’s boss for a long time). He is both an utter bastard and unshaggable.

Going out on a limb here...

You think men are disgusting. All of them.

I am clearly bad at using flippancy as a tool. 'I identify as' is a bad use of the phrase. I don't think you can identify as anything other than what you are.

Call me conservative or a TERF but that's my view.

But there are people saying I'm not a feminist, that I'm not a radical feminist.

What stops me from being so? Being attracted to a man who is seen as off the scale of appropriate male behaviour?

It's like being anti-nazi and still fancying hitler

HTH

Absolutely! Its like we have backtracked 70 year. It really does keep me awake at night, our poor daughters, and poor lads (being raised in a patriarchal, largely misogynistic society.( I cant seem to get my head around how to address it on a whole. Yes raise your boys to respect women. The patriarchy, how do we dismantle it? Xxx

Yay we hit that point where I get compared to a Nazi

Indeed they aren't.

LouBelle I have no idea and I feel completely hopeless that it would ever be possible.

Brand has vehemently denied the allegations, so clearly doesn't see himself as a rapist despite the texts between himself and the victim who went to rape crisis

He is now married with children and I doubt he has shown himself to be "that person " with his wife

Asking men for their opinion is irrelevant because most ordinary men who rape will never see themselves in that light .

So all these women saying the men they know wouldn't or haven't been sexually abusive is totally irrelevant.

I bet my rapist went on to have a relationship. I asked he wouldn't categorise himself as that person. When I did the rape crisis day (for my work ) it was very clear that the majority of men who do rape never see themselves as a rapist . That was by far the biggest category of rapists however . Stranger rapes are rare . Men trying to shove their penis into holes that were not consented to are not rare .

I do have the stats somewhere. And I experienced it for myself .

Blaming women for fancying men who have or could be potential rapists is victim blaming.

We need to be teaching the concept of consent in schools . It's not about women needing to raise their bar . It's about men learning what consent means .

I'm not defending him. I'm just saying my biology makes me attracted to him.

I get that OP.

I'm trying to imagine if say I did really fancy someone to start with, and then they were exposed of the kind of stuff RB was, and tbh I still think it would affect how I felt.

So my brain would override my basic biology.

That's probably why I can rationalise that men can override basic biology also.

Though I still think that it's questionable what that basic biology is.

I've never been attracted to him and have always thought he's a loud mouth, rude, self absorbed and arrogant moron, so I could never fancy him, I'm not attracted to stupid.

I see what you're saying about 'most men would if they could' but I think actually a lot of men wouldn't - I'm not saying they wouldn't enjoy sexual dominance or beautiful young girls, but your own inner morals can stop you even without social pressure. I think the difference with Brand is he doesn't have any inner morals. He is absolutely in need of serious therapy in my opinion.

You must be very tired.

I also think he's attractive. But imagine if he wasn't, he was fat, old balding TV presenter like any of the others, would you still feel the same way, in light of these revelations? Good looking people are always excused somehow.

Men benefit , obviously, from a patriarchal society. Some dont realise it...some do...and use it.

Not at all. I have a male partner, adult sons and male friends, none of whom to my best knowledge are disgusting. All of whom would agree with my comments about the benefits of men who are disgusting to the patriarchy. Because the fact that decent men wouldn't necessarily want it to be that way doesn't stop them recognising that it is.

I get that I really do.

The disgusting on repeat is tiring. Misandry is not something to be proud of.

I quite like the dudes in my life. I am content without having to verbally pulverise half the population to effectively say - I hate blokes.

It's this bullshit rhetoric that derails any sort of progress - the hysteria narrative prevails and it is divisive / self serving.

Tbh sounds exactly like radical feminism to me. OP’s position derives from a “radical feminist” perspective that all men are rapists and all heterosexual sex is rape. See https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intercourse_(book)

It was Dworkin and MacKinnon who are usually quoted as saying that all PIV sex is rape- although they didn't actually say that. Their line is that PIV is inherently violent by its nature, and it needs to be negotiated and thought about to get round this.
Valerie Solanas was the SCUM woman- she wrote a deeply ironic manifesto for The Society of Cutting Up Men. It was wildly exaggerated for effect, and greeted with scepticism at the time but still seems to be the only piece of feminist writing many people have ever heard of!

You fancy a rapist OP, you almost sound proud of it in your opening post.
I would suggest a boatload of therapy.