I still fancy RB

[WesterChick]

I've watched the documentary.

I still fancy RB.

I identify as a radical feminist.

I'm married with kids.

I think that if you are a heterosexual woman, you are either in denial on what men are or you accept what they are but find them irresistibly sexually attractive and so continue to be with them.

RB is simply what the vast majority of men would be like if they could get away with it.

Therefore - and because he's bloody good looking, funny and intelligent - and sexy - I will continue to fancy the pants off him.

I think women who are being all shocked and descusted at his behaviour need to consider what men are actually like. There's not some massive demarcation between him and other men.

All. Of. This.

I don't know, OP. He's a bit much for me. There's a theory that the more damaged the woman the harder and nastier the guy needs to be arousing.
Personally, I like guys who are mildly cheeky only and I admit not full on nice guys.

Tell me, if Brand had bee accused of pardon the expression what we think of, 'traditional' rape i. e. targeting a complete stranger and holding her at knife point, would you feel the same then?

I doubt it.

you can’t really control physical attraction , many people are attracted to serial killers and such
but I’m struggling to understand, with all the information you have been given about him, how you can lust after a man who hurts women , has no respect for women, and is a predator
most women are repulsed by him for that reason alone

i also don’t agree that all men would do what Russell did, if given the chance, not every man wants that sort of control over a woman, only certain personality types

@WesterChick If any woman believes this is what all men are like then they SERIOUSLY need to raise their standards!

I’m gay so granted I’m not in a relationship with a man but I know plenty of men that are horrified at his actions.

Maybe the fact you are attracted to rapists is why YOU think all men are like this?

Apparently 1 in 50 men is a danger to children, according to the NCA.

So, that's also "just what men are like" - would you be ok coming on here to declare his much you fancy one of those, OP?

Where does a "radical" (i.e. deeply conservative) feminist like you draw a line when it comes to getting aroused by sexually abusive men?

Yes your Nigel?

Yes, it's complete cognitive dissonance.

Any physical attractiveness he might possess is immediately erased the moment he opens his gob. Repulsive.

I’ve never understood his attraction. I don’t find him at all attractive, he can talk for England but doesn’t seem so good at listening, he uses a lot of words but - to me - he never manages to sound intelligent. And he really isn’t funny. He’s just another egotistical guy who has found money really can get him almost anything he wants. Makes me shudder, and he always has done.

I identify as a radical feminist.

Well thats weird because that's not how they describe themselves. Are you sure you know what it means?

What do you think it means?

Oi.....

I'm pretty sure the very rock starry looking guy I dated and who decided to try and shove his penis up my arse is still dating , or in a relationship.

That doesn't make it my fault

Men's actions are not the fault of women who find them attractive

They don't come with a neon warning sign

Don't blame women for men's actions , do you call yourself a feminist ? Or do you just blame the women who sleep with them ?

@bemorebernard I don’t know how you read my post but I didn’t once blame women for the actions of any man.

If being a rapist and a serial abuser doesn’t put you off because you’re so swayed by his hair/face/ skanky leather trousers then I guess it doesn’t.

Men don't care that other men are disgusting towards women. It is no detriment to them. Quite the reverse. Disgusting men make less disgusting ones look acceptable and mediocre ones desirable. Disgusting men give other men greater control over the women in their own lives by ensuring the women don't stray too far from the sphere of their protection. Disgusting men make women feel their options for decent relationships are limited so they tolerate inadequate partners because it could be worse. Disgusting men give men opportunities to look like heroes for offering the the mildest criticism of their behaviour and the briefest foray into 'allieship'. Disgusting men serve the patriarchy in spades, and all men benefit from them.

I think saying to women you need to raise your bar for finding a man physically attractive who then happens to be revealed to be a rapist is victim blaming

As I said these men don't usually come with a public health warning

Your post implies that women who end up dating these men have low standards, when many just don't reveal themselves to be rapists until they rape . That's my point

It's not the women's fault for having low standards and needing to "raise the bar"

What I don't get is OK,

OP fancied RB before. That was her thing, skinny legged, bad boy Johnny Depp - alikes,

Fair Enough. But NOW he DOES come with a " neon warning sign" as a pp put it.

NOW it's different. There's a before and AFTER to this.

And knowing all the shite, OP still fancies him. That's on OP I think, specifically.

Do you still fancy the rock starry penis shover @bemorebernard ?

I'm finding this very frustrating. Of course there's a debate to be had here and in an ideal world this would be a turning point. Particularly for men-but also for women. But this thread was started in such a sensationalist manner that no proper discussion seems to be possible.

I did find RB attractive, but not fanciable. He always seemed to be rather manic and I would assume a nightmare to date.

I saw him live once and found him hilarious - but then I do have a thing for comedians who tell non pc jokes. However, you assume that 'jokes' are just that and are not based on someone's reality - and in hindsight, with that knowledge, I would not have gone to see him.

I think what we have been observing in recent years is the power that is given to some celebrities, by the people around them, which makes them believe they can do whatever they want without consequences. These 'people' need to take some responsibility for RB's actions as they enabled his behavior by turning a blind eye and reinforcing his belief that he was doing nothing wrong.

In addition, I do believe there is a small minority of women who want to be associated with people like RB. They are attracted to fame and celebrity status and want a piece for themselves. Then, when the fairy tale ends and they do not end up with a piece of cake they feel slighted and taken advantage of. They probably were, but they put themselves in that position.

There will always be some men who push the boundaries as there will always be some women who pursue celebrities for their own benefit.

It's the expression that's weird radical feminist don't generally 'identify' as such they just are radfems

It's language from the 'other side'

Anyway the OPs an AIBU radfem not a FWR radfem

And a massive attention-seeker to boot

@bemorebernard Except that isn’t what I said!

I told the OP if she believes all men are the same (and would rape given the opportunity) she needs to raise her standards. That she shouldn’t be surrounding herself with all these men that she believes are predatory. And I’m referring directly to the OP hence I tagged her in the post who is a woman that is saying she still fancies a man AFTER it has become apparent he is a rapist.

This is not at all about women who end up dating these men as they don’t know who they are. You are twisting my words to mean something I didn’t say.

Jesus Christ . Is that a real question for me ?

Now that he raped me and hurt me , no I wouldn't but I bet the next woman he dated did . And the next. And the next.

We have a woman who is gay saying the men she knows are horrified , but clearly isn't dating men so in terms of a study of what men say and what men do her experience is irrelevant and you , after saying I was raped anally ask me if I find ,y "penis shover " attractive .,

What the fuck?

I don’t understand HOW you can still fancy him after the accusations? What about being accused of rape and assault is attractive?

I could understand (in an abstract way, because I’ve always thought he looks like he smells) why people would have found him attractive before they knew this about him. But afterwards, no way.

*Now that he raped me and hurt me , no I wouldn't but I bet the next woman he dated did . And the next. And the next.

We have a woman who is gay saying the men she knows are horrified , but clearly isn't dating men so in terms of a study of what men say and what men do her experience is irrelevant and you , after saying I was raped anally ask me if I find ,y "penis shover " attractive .,

What the fuck?*

Exactly my point.

OP Does know, and I'm talking about the OP, that RB is a predatory abusing man and very likely a rapist.

@bemorebernard

I don't care if it's the majority of men. I demand better of them and don't accept that's it's something we have to live with irrespective of the %.