Advice . Should toddler group volunteer be DBS checked

[Storm85]

Hi looking for some advice as unsure what to do if anything.
Ive attended a toddler group for a while and there’s a couple of helpers who help set up etc just wondering what to do regarding a male volunteer approx mid/late 40s who does this with no child there . He stays the whole time. Was told his child used to go to the group but now is like 8/9 years old but he’s stayed ever since. He just acts abit odd and I asked someone privately who told me anyone can volunteer ( usually a parent ) and no DBS check etc
I'm not really sure what I’m asking other than should this man have some sort of check etc I feel abit uncomfortable and unsure who to report my concerns to as a lot seem to think he is fantastic , he does seem nice enough just sometimes acts and says things abit strange, he is friends with the leader of the toddler group so can’t really talk to her. It is held in a church if that helps
Thank you

yes in song time if a child don’t go to there parent he will offer them to sit on his lap etc

WTF? How are people on MN so OK with this? No, I do not want any rando man encouraging kids onto his lap.

Best practice would be dbs check, but arguably its not a strict requirement.
Basic safeguarding & general training should be given to all volunteers though - eg policies on hot drinks near children, DC staying out of kitchen area, who is responsible for what, and need to avoid physical affection /hugs/etc. There should be policies in place around that, covering ALL volunteers, staff, and parents.
I think you'd be fine to speak to group leader about policies and training, pushing the idea of it being helpful to all parents, volunteers, and staff.

@Storm85 . The leader can ask anyone to not come to the group any time you wish.
We had this with a chap who was a volunteer Instructor and 'specialised' in picking up women he had met at the Sport Centre. All adults so no coercion but it left a 'bad taste'. Asked not to attend again. End of story.
A man was asked to leave the youth section because he was too strict and would not ease off. He was just asked to leave.

It isn't always 'seedy' reasons.

Yes he should be DBS checked and it’s affordable aka free iirc for volunteers and the group organisers/owners should insist on it plus they should be training all staff and volunteers on basic safeguarding and that would include not befriending attendees or going to their homes!

I work with kids and I’m told over and over not to get friendly with parents to safeguard the children. It sets a healthy boundary for kids that staff that work with them go home and that’s it. They adults they work with and aren’t ‘friends’

occasionally I have seen children I work with outside of school with their parents and they’ll wave or say hi and I’m polite and say hi , will tell them I’ll see them at school but I’m busy and have to go.

I sense that the cross-dressing conversations, having kids on his lap etc is making your spidery senses alert. Something doesn’t seem quite right here. Well done on being brave enough to trust your instincts and to take this further.

the website you quote would LIKE all those people to have a DBS, because they are charging £14.50 +VAT on top of the government’s £18 to do them a basic DBS.

the .gov website is unhelpful for Basic dbs, bit lists roles for standard and enhanced (which apply only to certain professions), so the lines of whether or not you need one if supervised or children always have a parent with them are annoyingly not made clear.

Just a reminder that men commit around 99% of all sex crimes. So people asking if you would feel just as worried about him if he was a woman are being naive. Of course we have to be more careful about men. While not all men are dangerous, the sad truth is that men are considerably more likely to be dangerous than women are.

If you're going home late at night on a train would you rather get into an almost empty carriage with a man in it or an almost empty carriage with a woman?

There are lots of good reasons to listen to our instincts.

Absolutely it's men.

And 92% of sexual abuse of children is from a male member of the family, almost overwhelmingly not the father, but an uncle, a grandfather, an older brother. The figure is higher than 92% with the abuse of children under the age of 10.

I'm glad you've reported your concerns.

Well done for emailing them and not being put off.

A DBS check means bugger all.

Most organisations would insist on a DBS as this is a regular volunteer who is in contact with children - I think it would be sensible, I just wonder if all the female volunteers are also DBS as from the post it is unclear

Just because he is a man?

A man with no toddlers attending a toddler group, sitting toddlers on his lap, having conversations about cross dressing and befriending single mums is off the scale inappropriate
IMHO.
My dear old late mum was a church member from the age of 11. In her 60s she volunteered at the church toddler group and had to have a DBS check. She was shocked about this but I explained that nobody is accusing her of being a sex offender, it is a requirement for everyone.
I strongly recommend that OP does raise her concerns and questions why this man hasn't been checked out

He might be socially awkward, insecure, anxious and deals with it by keeping busy and making him self useful, if you are unhappy with anything find a discreet person to talk to.

She had already asked in her OP whether he had a DBS and why he was there. She's now written to the organisers with her concerns so I'm guessing the ship has well and truly sailed on the discreet front.

How do you know he's not DBS checked?

It seems you only have the word of another parent

A man with no toddlers attending a toddler group, sitting toddlers on his lap, having conversations about cross dressing and befriending single mums is off the scale inappropriate

Exactly.

At best he's not remotely following best practise and is not teaching the children what is appropriate from adults at a group. Not to mention putting himself at risk of accusation.

And at worst he's using the group to get close to vulnerable women and their children.

And DBS doesn't make people safe, but it does, since Ian Huntley, help keep a record of people who are accused of things and move from one place to another to try and slip under the radar completely. It makes it harder to get away with patterns of behaviour.

A group known to have solid safeguarding policies and who are known to check staff and volunteers (And stick to policies and checks even for well known adults and don't go down the route of "oh that's just Dave" or "We all know Mary") and stick to best practise is also less likely to be targeted by predatory or unsuitable people.

If you volunteer in a school, you have to have to have a DBS check and complete safeguarding training, or a least I did recently. This is despite the fact that I am never left alone with the children, I'm always in a classroom with the teacher, teaching assistant and 30 kids present.

That's a school.
This is a playgroup.

As parents are there it's a grey area. We dbs anyone in the main room but not those helping in the kitchen or set up/close down but not present during the session. This is beyond the legal requirement which is only the leadership must be checked. I'm a safeguarding officer.

I assume you would be happy for a woman to be left alone with children though.

What does he do that worries you?

Exists apparently