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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU when I invite my friend to stay over at my house but then go and stay with my girlfriend leaving my bf on their own?

54 replies

Hei253 · 16/09/2023 23:46

One of my friends and I went to watch a football match in another city about 3 hours drive away. We would get back mid evening and instead of my friend having to drive back home only to drive back to my village again for work early the next morning, I offered for him to crash at mine for the night. When we got back however, my gf was messaging me and asking me to go round to hers to stay over so I told my friend I had to go out but to help himself to anything he needed (drink, the bathroom, whatever) and he'd already gone to work the next morning by the time I got home.
Now that friend didn't say he had a problem with me leaving him on his own but then I was talking to one of my other friends and we were discussing the plan of action after a concert that we're due to go to in a week or so. She lives further away than I do but I'm giving her a lift home and we won't get back until around 1am so I suggested she stays at mine so it's not quite as far to drive back that night (only an extra 15 miles to drop her back home but then going back to mine means an extra hour driving when I'd rather be getting to bed). I told her she could crash at mine and then I'd go round and stay at my gf's house leaving my friend on her own and she said that it's rude to invite someone to stay over and then leave them on their own in your house. No matter how good friends they are that they normally feel comfortable in your house I'm being unreasonable by leaving them.

OP posts:
Pottyberry · 17/09/2023 14:44

I'm a woman and this wouldn't bother me, I Get a place to stay, I'm quite capable of finding the bathroom and the kettle.

Curseofthenation · 17/09/2023 15:31

I would be grateful to have somewhere to stay. Your friend has been upfront from the start re staying with his girlfriend. If you don't like it then find your way home.

Certainlyreally · 17/09/2023 15:33

Hei253 · 17/09/2023 12:42

Unfortunately it is real!!!

Now some people have called this out as reverse so hands up it is, but actually I am the second friend in this scenario.
My friend does weird and unreasonable stuff all the time and I tell him he's out of order but he doesn't see a problem and thinks it's just me who has the issue, so I decided to create an account on here to start posting threads to show him some of his behaviour is unreasonable and I'm not the only one who thinks that way.

Thank you for all your responses xx

Nobody likes reverses!!!

FFS

Teaandbiscuits60 · 17/09/2023 15:50

Just yes that’s not on! Who brought you up?? Yabu

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