Coughing lady at the movies

[HibiscusAndPineapples]

Went to the cinema to watch a film, and the lady seated behind me spent the better part of the entire runtime coughing. It wasn’t just muffled coughs here and there either, but full on, loud, non-stop coughing.

Any quiet/tense moment in the film was completely ruined by loud coughing.

AIBU to think that anyone with a cough as loud and relentless as this should just stay away from the cinema?

Cinemas are not public spaces. It's not the park or the beach where noise is just something that's expected. Do you really think it's right for someone to be "chatting to their mate" while a movie is going on?

You choose to spend your money on sharing the screening of a film with other humans. You have to accept they have bodily functions.

Never said it was right, or wrong, just the way it is.

And yes, a cinema is a public space. A public space doesn't have to be outside and free to use, it's a place where people meet.

So where does the line stop the person with Touretts shouting swear words upsetting you at dinner because you paid good money and your child might hear it, the wheelchair user who needs you to move to get on board, the person having a heart attack mid show who may have ignored their earlier warning signs. What about the tall person who dares to sit In front of you at the theater do they have to be forced to sit in a back row. The person with an overactive bladder who keeps making you stand up....We can all follow good etiquette like not eating sweets, not invading space etc but if we have disabilities we have a legal right to adaptations and to be allowed to be in the cinema in the scheme of things most are rarely severely affected by disabled people attending events what one or two events in your life I'm sure compared to the times disabled people are obstructed from accessing things they have paid for or that you take for granted it's a very insignificant percentage. For example....trip to supermarket took 4 stops for meds I had to fight a parking ticket for over staying, find a staff member to unlock a disabled toilet....who then said key was lost and if SHE looking at my sister could walk she could help her into the regular toilet....20 minutes later it was found....that ruined my sister's long looked forward to food shop....it's typical for every trip I've taken either with my sister or mother (and talking to others) to find an issue can't get around a shop, obstructed isles, locked loos that are not broken but they don't want to open, changing rooms too small so your flashing to the store ....the list is endless and every time we go out.

An asthmatic cough has a particular timbre to it, because we aren't able to expel the air through our contracted pipes. It's a comparatively quiet and wheezy cough, not what the OP is talking about. Asthmatics literally cannot expel the air fast enough to do repeatedly loud coughs, and most of us know that coughing doesn't help anyway (and in fact makes things worse) so we try to avoid coughing if possible.

I have cough variant asthma, which it appears you have never heard of. Repeated, uncontrollable cough, not "comparatively quiet", not necessarily wheezy, and absolutely no problem expelling air fast fast enough for repeated coughs.

I'd probably have sat at the back though.

I’m a cougher (nothing like this lady sounds to be, in fairness) and it’s due to an unlovely combination of chronic sinus issues which cause post nasal drip, and acid reflux that came on from nowhere during peri menopause. I’m on prescription meds for both which really help but don’t totally solve the problem. Somewhere like the cinema I always bring water, but sometimes in dry air I feel my nose suddenly start to swell/fill (!) and just know a cough will come. I’d generally take a decongestant before a film/theatre as a precaution.

i think Covid has made people really, really paranoid about coughs, and coughers really paranoid about coughing in public.

Yeah OP and you should have offered her a crème egg too 😂😂

I agree that cinemas cost (a lot!!!) of money and that people going should have basic manners - I’m afraid “I can’t help it” doesn’t cut the mustard.

I bet if it was a screaming baby people wouldn’t be whinging at you OP

Babies get nothing from seeing a film so it's not a reasonable comparison.
Manners have nothing to do with what could be a disability or chronic life limiting illness....babies grow up disabled and chronically ill don't get better today is the best chance to live a life that has already been cut short.

Thank you.
I wish people would stop and think that this could be me next week what would I want?

At a parent's evening presentation at DS's school last week I had a man in the seat behind I named Captain Catarrh. Nonstop thick snot noises, clearing his throat / chest, rattling cough, deep sniffs and thick, cacky coughing.

I could feel his hot breath on my neck every time. 🤢

Not sure if I felt this completely grossed out pre-Covid, but now it made me feel both sick and like running away.

How do you think he felt? I know with my sister she's mortified and even with family keeps apologising but short of end things there is nothing she can do. Would you suggest if it's a long term thing he misses every event for his child? If he was shouting obscenities would you say he shouldn't be there too? What if he's incontinent and smells is that an issue too?

There's more than blurred lines between public and private space nowadays. Many people just behave as they would at home and sod everyone else.
Theatres, cinemas, concert halls, parents' meetings etc.

Doesn't sound like Captain Cattarh was either mortified or apologetic @jannier. Just insensitive and thoughtless.

I'm sorry but how do you know what he was feeling or was he supposed to say sorry sorry sorry or shuffle off into a box ....only he knows why he's coughing it's wrong to assume he's just an ignorant bug spreader. Chronic illness can sound like Cattarh is it fair to make a mockery of him by name calling? My sister's is so bad you would think she's going to vomit I can imagine what names you would be calling her.

No, I didn't say I wouldn't go out at all - I said I wouldn't go to a cinema. Going to shops or places of interest or parks and the like isn't the same as going to a place where there's an expectation of being quiet for the others in the audience who have also paid to see and listen to the film. I certainly wouldn't suggest, and am not suggesting for anyone else, not going out in general with a chronic cough.

I don't know if the policies about breathing equipment in Britain bear any resemblance to those in Australia, I was only wondering about the stages of the illness. I'm sorry about your sister - one thing I have had a glimpse of from my neighbour is how awful this illness is.

Pot kettle black

I get annoyed if I hear someone even breathe at the cinema let alone rustle their snacks or cough throughout the whole film.

I find the snacks thing so unbelievably annoying I rarely go to the cinema now

I did go to see Barbie and of course the silly cow behind me was rustling her snacks non stop during the ads beforehand

I politely, because it gives me the absolute rage, said I hoped she would stop when the film started. I can't remember how I worded it but it was ok not patronising or condescending.

Her and her partner started to have a go because obviously they found me completely annoying by saying anything. Fair enough. But then they stopped and didn't snack throughout the whole film. They probably decided I was a bit of a nutter. I do get the rage though with rustling in cinemas. I'm probably on the spectrum

She should stay away out of normal human consideration. Having a chronic illness doesn't entitle you to spoil several other people's entertainment that they've paid quite a lot for. It's not fair on everyone else, and it's highly unlikely that she wouldn't be able to watch the film at home.

Why do people with coughs have no control over whether they go to the cinema?

At the very least he could have stood away from other people so that he would minimise both the risk of infection and the nuisance factor. And deep sniffs are always avoidable. If other parents can't hear the presentation because of the noise you are making, you are being very inconsiderate to the teachers who have taken the trouble to put it on.

I have a near permanent cough despite numerous medications, natural remedies, medical tests etc. If I couldn't go out in public until the cough goes away, I'd never leave the house again. I always have a drink, cough sweet or the like with me, to try & minimise it.

YABVU. I'd tell you to move if you made it clear I was getting on your nerves.

YABU if it was just in the ads. They're the worst part about going to the cinema

Just to clear something up “deep sniffs” are NOT always avoidable, they’re one of THE most common tics and school is THE most common time to get them.

I've had an awful cough for a while and there's no way I'd be going to the cinema.

Why didn’t you just move seats?