To wonder what the natural consequence is for leaving shoes on a bus

[UsuallyBaffled]

DS just started year 7. One week in and he's left a boot bag containing brand new Clarks school shoes and Nike trainers on the bus (well over £100 of new shoes). Have tried bus company nothing handed in. Obviously I have to replace them as he needs both for school but what should the consequence be for my generally well behaved but slightly head-in- the-clouds DS? I feel like we can't just replace them and carry on he needs to learn something from it AIBU?

The natural consequence is the shoes are lost. The consequence for him is he has to wear old shoes until they can be replaced which might result in an unnatural consequence at school if they are non compliant.

I would buy cheap non branded replacement shoes.

When mine lost stuff through carelessness, I made them "earn" the cost by doing chores. They ironed school shirts at £1 a shirt to pay back lost bus passes for example.

What we’re on his feet?!

Football boots....with studs, on the bus! I don't know what else to say about that as the whole scenario was surprising to me but not to my 11yr old.

The natural consequence is wearing cheap unbranded shoes.
However, I’m not sure I could do this to DC at the start of year 7. I would probably replace with branded but cheaper shoes, and have them earn the money back through chores.

Yes I like this as it would teach him a bit about the value of things and also means I can offload some chores so win win.

Such carelessness needs consequences.

I would replace for one term with less popular brands.

When I did this sort of thing my mam used to tell me to get a replacement out of the school lost property box and pretend they were mine.
That was due to lack of money though, rather than as a punishment.
Honestly despite wearing horrible smelly old trainers and other manky things from the lost property box I never learned. I still loose stuff now.

Shoes and boots from Boyes, Primark or equivalent until he starts Year 8 and you can try again. A lecture.

That would be it from me.

Yep chores. But also if you're giving him a consequence let the consequence do the talking and don't go on about it. Y7 is really hard.

(my parenting style is quite naggy / go on about things-y. Not assuming yours is).

What shoes was he wearing on the way home if both his school shoes and trainers were in a bag?
For a start - he travels home in his school shoes (no changing into different shoes - which is what he must have done).
Replacements - get basic supermarket/shoe zone shoes or secondhand.
If it was a genuine mistake then punishment is a bit harsh. Has he been involved with contacting the bus company (phoning them, emailing them etc). Him having to do the work of possibly tracking them down shouldn't be left to you.
He could make posters to stick on the bus stops along the route - this might involve having to give up his free time to go from stop to stop.
@UsuallyBaffled have you put a "missing school bag" post on all your local/school Facebook groups, Whatsapp groups etc. Facebook is usually full of these type of posts and 9 times out of 10 someone has usually found the missing items and you get them back.

I think at this point in year 7 would just replace them but make it clear that in future he needs to be more careful otherwise his pocket money will be reduced to pay for them or something along those lines.

Love your reply, Its a good reminder as do I have a tendancy to go on about things and also I know that Id feel quite different about potential punishment if he was in year 8 or above and already settled in with a group of mates.

He gets cheaper shoes and earns the cost of them via chores etc.

If it was my child- I wouldn't replace with cheaper as likely whatever they was wearing would be the only ones that fitted....

Would do similar to ironing shirts idea

I'd agree with PPs that replacing the Nikes with the most basic unbranded trainers available would probably be appropriate. Or he has to buy new ones himself out of savings/birthday money or whatever, if he has any. Or he pays you back in chores/pocket money.

I feel for him, because I was (and am) terrible for losing stuff like that, and I know all too well the sinking feeling of dread when you realise you've fucked up (left my handbag and purse in a hotel 400 miles away recently and didn't realise until I got home) but equally it's important for him to know that there are consequences to losing expensive stuff.

@Needmorelego thank you, good suggestions about making him responsible for the time involved in trying to track them down (he was wearing football boots, apparently he didn't have time to change at end of school, this in itself is not a great reflection of my DS I realise!)

Why are children given expensive branded shoes in the first place? The consequences of his carelessness should be that he has to wear his old shoes.

Personally, I will replace them with non branded ones and he won’t get new branded ones until those need changing.

Is there a lost property place where things go that are left on the bus? If so, perhaps you could start by saying he has to make a trip (out of school hours) to the lost property place himself to try and retrieve them pronto. If not successful then the other suggested consequences follow, e.g. cheap shoes and trainers for the next term at least and does some chores to earn the cost of the replacements.

To be fair, the Clarks shoes should last longer than cheaper ones

I would assume cheap supermarket shoes as a replacement would be the natural consequences and he can earn the cost of expensive shoes back doing chores.

Honestly, in the first weeks of Y7 I would cut him some slack but if it happens again, he earns the money because for new ones.

I wouldn’t make him wear old shoes though if they’re too small.