Was I sexually assaulted

11 replies

Onlyme20 · 14/09/2023 22:46

This has played on my mind my whole life from being 16 and I’m now 38
was this a routine appointment and should this of happened or was I assaulted
when I was 16 I had a bf so I made an appointment to go see a doctor to get birth control the pill
I remember it was summer and warm and I went to my appointment which was with a male doctor and I had a strappy blue vest top on
I don’t remember fully how the appointment went but I do remember him asking me if I knew how to check my breasts for lumps and I said yes .. to which he proceeded to pull my top down and show me how to check by touching my breasts. That’s is all I remember and remember being upset on the way back home and wondering if that should of happened and I still to this day wonder if that should of happened

OP posts:

ChaChaRealSmooth · 14/09/2023 22:49

It sounds like you were yes, he didn’t ask for permission to touch you. He was completely inappropriate. I'm so sorry op

Thedogscollar · 14/09/2023 23:22

Yes you were and that is horrific. He had no need to touch you at all to show you how to examine yourself. He should have gained your consent and for a chaperone to be present.
You went to be prescribed the contraceptive pill and it appears he took advantage of the situation and your naivety at such a tender age.

Winnipeggy · 14/09/2023 23:32

Yes, I'm sorry. Is he still practicing do you know?

JoanCandy · 14/09/2023 23:39

This wasn’t in Birmingham, was it ? As the exact same thing happened to me and I’ve also often wondered over the years ( was a little bit older than you were, OP, am mid 50s now).

PurplePansy05 · 14/09/2023 23:41

So you said "yes", as in you knew how to check your breasts and yet he pulled your top down to show you? If so, he did this without your consent.

FWIW, I was asked the same by a female medical professional and she demonstrated on me how to do it because I was fine with her doing it. I'm also positive I was older than you.

TennisWithDeborah · 14/09/2023 23:42

Uggggh I’m so sorry OP. What an absolute creep.

UpaladderwatchingTV · 14/09/2023 23:55

Yes, it does sound like you were sexually assaulted OP, and I'm so very sorry to hear this. It really sickens me to hear of these so called 'professional' people, using their job as an opportunity to get their rocks off at the expense of the young and inexperienced. We're also generally brought up to believe that doctors, police, etc are all there to help us, so we don't imagine that they would even consider doing something harmful, which is why when they do something like was done to you, we end up having to ask if we really were assaulted, as we feel we must be able to trust them.

Can I ask, is it something that you feel you might need counselling to get past OP, or having read these responses, do you now feel that knowing that you were right all this time, you can put it out of your mind and forget about it?

MouseMinge · 14/09/2023 23:56

You were and I'm so sorry this happened to you. I had an experience with a doctor when I was a totally grown up should have spoken up for myself 30 year old woman. I had a chest infection and he told me to take off my jumper and bra so he could listen to my chest properly. I knew it wasn't even slightly normal but I just did it because I didn't want to make a fuss. I went on to make a complaint, not least because he was a campus doctor (I was a mature student) and I didn't want it happening to younger women. I got fobbed off and I don't know that anything was ever done about it. I signed up with a different surgery partly because it was made clear to me by the surgery's nurse that I wouldn't be welcome back and partly because I didn't want to ever see him again.

Daisy1103 · 14/09/2023 23:57

Yes I would say you were. Something similar happened to me, many years ago.

LadyLolaRuben · 14/09/2023 23:58

Hi, I'm a NHS Director and oversee issues such as conduct.

From what you describe, yes this was inappropriate and unacceptable. Im so sorry this happened to you. You can report him by going onto the GMC website and lodging a complaint. Search his name. If he has retired and no longer registered you can still advise them to keep on record.

Its often the case that these people didn't do something like this only once...

Original poster

Onlyme20 · 15/09/2023 14:16

This was a very long time ago and I believe he has passed away now it’s just something that’s has not left my mind all these years x

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