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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to ask this lady to move?

220 replies

Fahhgedaboutit · 14/09/2023 07:00

I needed petrol yesterday so after work, just before picking up DS from nursery, I stopped at the Morrisons petrol station near his nursery and had about 20 minutes before I was due to pick him up. I didn’t pay at pump as I rarely carry a bank card around, I use Apple Pay for most things. I went to pay and there was a lady in front of me talking to the cashier about the Morrisons more card- she was looking through her purse but couldn’t find it. Anyway, she asked the cashier how to download it off her phone but clearly wasn’t very technically able; first she was trying to figure out if she had a smart phone, then she didn’t know her password for the google play store etc. anyway about 10 minutes had passed of waiting and there was a queue of about 6 people behind me at this point and I was starting to panic i’d be late for DS so I asked (politely!), if she could step to the side to sort her app out and the people behind could pay until she was ready.

She called me rude, ranted about young peoples manners (I’m 34!). I said I didn’t think I was being rude, but I had to pick up DS from nursery in less than 10 minutes and then my elder DS from school and I was going to be late. She got angry at me for replying and just paid and left without finishing her more card downloading, huffing away the whole time about manners.

WIBU? I felt a bit shitty but I also wouldn’t have stood there trying to sort my phone out whilst there was a queue of people waiting to pay at a clearly busy time!

OP posts:
1willgetthere · 14/09/2023 07:42

I think asking her to move was OK but the delivery got her back up.

What you said made her feel small and an inconvenience that the other 6 people were more important than her so she was defensive.

If you had said something like

"Im sorry, Would you mind terribly if I went in front of you to pay, I'm worried I will be late to collect my son" is not putting the 'blame' on her and making her feel helpful to say yes.

AnIndianWoman · 14/09/2023 07:45

I personally think Apple Pay should be allowed for payment at pump. It is such an inconvenience to pay inside the station.

GodDammitCecil · 14/09/2023 07:45

SloppyJays · 14/09/2023 07:04

She was being served so yes it was rude. It’s not her fault you are short on time.
Its a pain when people dither and take a long time but, if she was being served and helped by the cashier, then you need to wait your turn.

Sorry, no.

After 10 minutes, it was definitely the ditherer being rude and inconsiderate - NOT the OP.

Selfesteem23 · 14/09/2023 07:47

I don’t think you were wrong. There was a queue building and she had been there long enough. The cashier probably should have asked her to step aside as a queue was building earlier than you spoke.

Most people using petrol stations have places to go/be and she was holding 6 of you up! Her reaction was probably embarrassment.

LakeTiticaca · 14/09/2023 07:47

Unacceptable. The cashier should have sent the woman to customer services in the store to have it sorted out. I'm afraid I would of said something much sooner

ChaToilLeam · 14/09/2023 07:47

No, you were fine, she was a faffy idiot.

ActDottie · 14/09/2023 07:52

Yanbu 10 minutes is far too long in this situation particularly with a growing queue behind.

Tourmalines · 14/09/2023 07:53

SloppyJays · 14/09/2023 07:04

She was being served so yes it was rude. It’s not her fault you are short on time.
Its a pain when people dither and take a long time but, if she was being served and helped by the cashier, then you need to wait your turn.

No , she was taking way too long . The cashier had told her to do it in her own time but she insisted cashier help her . She has no regard for anyone’s inconvenience. I would have been huffing too .

pasturesgreen · 14/09/2023 07:54

YANBU. You weren't rude and quite honestly I'd have expected the cashier to intervene way before the point you describe. The faffing lady should have stepped aside, taken her time downloading whatever it was that she needed and resumed her place at the till when she was ready. Meanwhile, cashier continues with their job.

FirstYouGetTheMoney · 14/09/2023 08:03

You were totally reasonable.

I have a new phone and realized when in Sainsbury’s at they weekend that I didn’t have the Nectar card app logged in and there was a very poor signal.

I apologized to the cashier and person behind, gave myself perhaps 30 seconds to try to make it work and then just paid without it rather than hold everyone up.

10 minutes is far too long.

theemmadilemma · 14/09/2023 08:10

Nope reasonable. Not the cashiers job to help her with the app, and she'd been asked to move to the side, so clearly the cashier agreed.

theemmadilemma · 14/09/2023 08:10

Not UNREASONABLE!

rainbowstardrops · 14/09/2023 08:12

LakeTiticaca · 14/09/2023 07:47

Unacceptable. The cashier should have sent the woman to customer services in the store to have it sorted out. I'm afraid I would of said something much sooner

Absolutely!

SamW98 · 14/09/2023 08:13

YANBU - you did way better than me. I would have been losing patience after about 2 minutes let alone 10.

She was rude and entitled - her wants trump everyone else in her head. Cashier should have dealt with it better though

DelurkingLawyer · 14/09/2023 08:14

YWNBU - she gets about 30 seconds to try and make a totally discretionary loyalty card work and if it doesn’t she either pays or steps aside.

Also a queue to pay for petrol means those people can’t move their cars and other people can’t get to the pumps. Really thoughtless.

ClairDeLaLune · 14/09/2023 08:18

How on earth can anyone think the lady was reasonable to stand there downloading an app and faffing with her phone when there’s a big queue behind her? Some people just come on here to be contrary and argue with reason for the sake of it. YANBU OP, and the voting should be 100%

Helpmepleaseimbusy · 14/09/2023 08:19

Next time pay at pump for ease.

Original poster
Fahhgedaboutit · 14/09/2023 08:31

1willgetthere · 14/09/2023 07:42

I think asking her to move was OK but the delivery got her back up.

What you said made her feel small and an inconvenience that the other 6 people were more important than her so she was defensive.

If you had said something like

"Im sorry, Would you mind terribly if I went in front of you to pay, I'm worried I will be late to collect my son" is not putting the 'blame' on her and making her feel helpful to say yes.

More than happy to take this on board for next time (if there is one!). I’m generally a polite person (or so I like to think), but maybe being worried about being late made me more brusque than I’d usually be. My words were something like “would you please mind sorting the app to one side so other people can pay? I’m going to be late to collect my son from nursery”. Admittedly, I was frustrated at this point.

OP posts:
Onionsandplaydoh · 14/09/2023 08:33

You were not BU. The cashier was though, for allowing a queue like that to build up.

Spanne · 14/09/2023 08:39

Your words were fine. No need to go ott.

ZadocPDederick · 14/09/2023 08:40

Aprilx · 14/09/2023 07:05

I was behind somebody who was being incredibly slow packing and paying in Tescos. But this is life, I think sometimes you just have to grin and bear it, I would never have told somebody to hurry up.

OP didn't tell anyone to hurry up either.

SamW98 · 14/09/2023 08:44

Fahhgedaboutit · 14/09/2023 08:31

More than happy to take this on board for next time (if there is one!). I’m generally a polite person (or so I like to think), but maybe being worried about being late made me more brusque than I’d usually be. My words were something like “would you please mind sorting the app to one side so other people can pay? I’m going to be late to collect my son from nursery”. Admittedly, I was frustrated at this point.

Show quote history

Actually OP I think your words were fine and much better than the post you’re quoting so I wouldn’t worry about taking anything on board and just carry on as you are.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 14/09/2023 08:44

YANBU. I was in a situation like this a couple of years ago in a supermarket, waited a similar time before saying anything, and the woman in front also responded by throwing her toys out of the pram instead of catching herself on. In my case the cashier implied I was the one BU. This thread makes me feel vindicated. 😂

Clefable · 14/09/2023 08:47

You were totally not unreasonable. Anyone with basic manners would have stepped aside once they realised it was going to take a while and there was a queue. But some people are spectacularly self-absorbed.

Sparkl · 14/09/2023 08:57

According to another thread on here you probably should have stood on her feet/rugby tackled her out of the way without even asking!
Don’t worry about it op.