Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To search for a small dog that can be left alone during the day?

434 replies

PleasedToBeAFlower · 12/09/2023 21:49

I will accept it if I get flamed by dog lovers for this.
But is there such a thing as a small dog that can be left alone for 5 or 6 hours 3 days a week?
Or is it just completely unacceptable to plan to do this?
My DD aged 9 has a significant educational learning delay. This is affecting her self esteem and self confidence. She is otherwise highly intelligent.
So I need to chanel in to things she loves, so that she can feel good about things she loves and is good at, to compensate for spending all day at school feeling rubbish about herself for not being able to learn.
And boy oh boy does she LOVE dogs. She literally adores them. She cannot pass one without making friends with it. Dogs seem attracted to her. And she's amaaaaazing with them. All breeds, all ages, doesn't matter, she adores them and they do seem to adore her.
She has begged for a dog for 6 years so far. I've always said no.
But I actually think it would be incredible for her to have one.
I have no doubt she would be 100% committed to it, and it would be a lucky dog as she would love it and care for it so much.
BUT it would be alone in the house 3 days a week for about 6 hours a day.
No way round this.
Kids at school.
DH and I go to work, and we dont have jobs that we can take dogs to.
Is this ever, ever, ever do-able???
Or is there never a way to have a dog if it's left on its own?
I realise it has to be fair on the dog, not just what we want.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Mmmpomello · 13/09/2023 08:16

Best and most sensible response on this thread.

Mmmpomello · 13/09/2023 08:17

Oops, that was in response to @Theeternalrocksbeneath

BungalowBuyer · 13/09/2023 08:17

My dog used to be perfectly happy being left for up to six hours, just napped, but now he's older he needs to go outside more often so I couldn't leave him that long, so bear in mind dogs needs change as they get older.

Prettypaisleyslippers · 13/09/2023 08:18

OP it’s likely a rescue won’t let you have a Dog due to DC age.

look at local breeders, use a dog Walker twice a day on the two days you are out of the house. Get DDog acquainted with dog Walker (use for days out etc). Facebook community pages are often used for advertising such services.

Mumsnet is not the place to ask, it seems like I E I’ve stepped into a parallel university, where people can only be dog owners if they stay home all day, every day. That’s the not the real world.

mondaytosunday · 13/09/2023 08:19

Sure there are plenty of people who do this. But it's not a breed (though some are more prone to separation anxiety/loneliness). It's training.

BMW6 · 13/09/2023 08:22

I think the problem is you won't know if the dog is OK being left until you do it. If it's not OK then what will you do? Take it back?

Will you install a camera so you can see and hear if it is OK?

I have a neighbour who leaves hers for hours, and it cries all the bloody time. So distressing to have to hear.

Chiaseedling · 13/09/2023 08:22

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 12/09/2023 22:07

It’s called a cat.

Exactly what I was going to say!!
however, years ago dogs were left all day but times have changed so this is one of the reason a dog isn’t for me. I wouldn’t want to be tied down. I suppose getting a dog walker is a good compromise once you’ve acclimatised the dog etc. Or Borrow my doggie site.

Willmafrockfit · 13/09/2023 08:24

Chiaseedling · 13/09/2023 08:22

Exactly what I was going to say!!
however, years ago dogs were left all day but times have changed so this is one of the reason a dog isn’t for me. I wouldn’t want to be tied down. I suppose getting a dog walker is a good compromise once you’ve acclimatised the dog etc. Or Borrow my doggie site.

Show quote history

how many years ago?
30 years ago i wasnt leaving my ddog alone all day.

Gcsunnyside23 · 13/09/2023 08:25

Is this new or just leftover from all the COVID/lockdown puppies? People used to leave dogs for at least 5 hours when they went out or longer to go to work. Hardly anyone was WFH and I know of many many people who had dogs and I'm certain they didn't have daycare or walkers for them. A puppy might have a flight issue until it's a bit older and toilet trained but generally I would say dog would be fine on its own for that length of time.
To add, do people not leave their dogs on their own to sleep, do they never go out for dinner, shopping??

Nannyfannybanny · 13/09/2023 08:31

We always had 2 dogs,3 at one point. They were occasionally left 6 hours if we went out, with a dog flap and large garden. We lost our Phalane in January almost 18,(when we lost our last dog 17,in January 2015, he sat by the front door and cried when I went to work (night shift) so we got a puppy. After loosing him,we tried for months to get a rescue dog, bearing in mind we are now retired, large garden, have had 4 border collies, did their adoption forms twice, never even got a response. Tried other rescues, after my Google search, they came up England Ireland Scotland Wales, I didn't want a male or staffies. There are so many male staffies. The rest every single one had behaviour problems,must be only dog,no other animals, rural home only, reactive to dogs, animals, people, bikes,cars,no children or visiting children, separation anxiety. Private ads, wanting a lot of money, claiming heartbreak at having to get rid of the dog, have been conned in the past, don't trust them. It's a commitment, I've had dogs since I was a kid. We have now got a puppy, not that I am recommending that for you. Most kids want a dog..... for a while.

Possimpible · 13/09/2023 08:39

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 13/09/2023 08:14

@Possimpible she actually hasn't said anything either way about a dog walker.

It's interesting how everyone has made assumptions one way though!

She said 'yes to doggy door' but didn't answer the question about dog walker, so I read between the lines

MinnieGirl · 13/09/2023 08:39

Dogs are pack animals. They need to be with you and if you are thinking of leaving your dog for hours, then a dog isn’t for you. Get a cat who can happily be left.

Gioia1 · 13/09/2023 08:40

Papillon. I have one and she’s a super star. I must add that she’s got two cats at home and they’re best friends so she’s not totally alone

To search for a small dog that can be left alone during the day?
Nopenopenopenopenopenope · 13/09/2023 08:42

Can be? Sure. Should they be? Absolutely not.

SchittOnIt · 13/09/2023 08:47

I think you sound like you’ve got a lovely home for an older rescue dog. We’ve had a rescue Staffy for 9 years (she’s now 16) and she has been fine to be left for that long - she just sleeps. She has had a wonderful life with us and she’s bought us so much joy. During the times when we’ve been out for longer days we’ve had a dog walker, and for holidays we use a house sitter. As long as you’re honest with the rescue shelter about your situation they can assess whether it’s suitable and match you with the right dog. There are loads of older dogs out there needing loving homes.

ActDottie · 13/09/2023 08:48

Pay for a dog walker! Maximum I leave my girls is 3 hours anything more and I drop them at my parents.

NalafromtheLionKing · 13/09/2023 08:48

Either get a soft toy or use doggy daycare. You know dogs are pack animals and can’t just be left alone all day, right?

OTOH, you could get a couple of cats to keep each other company as they are more solitary animals (assuming of course that you have a cat flap so they can go out).

VickyEadieofThigh · 13/09/2023 08:49

I have older rescue dogs (only one at a time!). What I will say is that no rescue can guarantee that a dog they 'think' can be left for periods of time WILL in fact be OK with being left regularly for 6 hours.

The risk you're running with this is that you take a rescue dog and it doesn't work - the dog suffers anxiety, cries and barks for prolonged periods, becomes destructive, urinates/defecates in the house, etc.

You have to consider this: what would I do if that happened? Because if returning the dog to rescue is probably the answer, PLEASE don't do this.

AuntieEsther · 13/09/2023 08:52

Those saying well some dogs can be left that long but it depends on the dog etc are missing the point that a) nobody knows which dogs will be ok with this before you have them for long enough to find out and b) even if a dog is happy to be left this can take ages to achieve!
We have a rescue sight hound and ho sleeps 23 hours a day it seems like but it took a good 4 months before he could be left for just half an hour without freaking out. We only discovered he was ready to be left by going at his pace and observing when he chose to go back into the house rather than get in the car . There's no way anyone could or should plan around a dog being happy to be left. Whether a puppy or a rescue they are going to have to have a plan for the dog's care from the offset.

EverybodyLTB · 13/09/2023 08:56

Can they be left? Kind of. I could leave my 12yo every day after school for six hours and he’d be fine, and could eat and shower - but it’s not a fair or sustainable thing to do to him.

Dogs bond to and love their family like nothing else. They’re not as emotionally complex as children, but they’re not a million miles away when it comes to spending time with them and addressing their needs. If you want to get an animal for emotional support, then it needs to be emotionally in top health itself. Being left alone daily for big chunks of time will not give you a healthy animal.

Look at getting two docile cats I would say over a dog. They’ll be company for each other and will still provide the affection and soothing element. We got a dog for the same purpose really as you are wanting, but I’m always with him (or someone is) he is wonderful for the children, but I have to fill him up with the love that he then gives to them. You don’t get a safe and beautifully natured dog by accident - it’s the breed and then quite intensive input from you. It’s hard work.

Tadpolle · 13/09/2023 08:57

Our dog would now be fine with this but you have to plan assuming they won't be. She's a terrier/ spaniel/ bichon friese mix. She is now 7 years old and starting to be a bit more chilled out and lazy than before. When she was a puppy she had pretty much full time dog day care, then a daily dog walker (long walks) then my job changed to mostly WFH in the pandemic and hasn't gone back. We can leave her alone for a working day here and there when needed and she's fine but if she wasn't I'd still be using the dog walker which is not cheap.

CafeAuLaitRoyale · 13/09/2023 08:59

The real question (as ever) is... what if it won't?

Dogs are living creatures, with all the variation and individualism that comes with. Are there dogs out there who could live a happy life being left 3 x 6 hours a week? Yes.

Can you guarantee you'll get one? No.

A dog that was left for that time in an old home, may not adjust to being left like it in a new home - all the changes since then having changed them, to a degree.

A dog that seems fine left in a kennel at a rescue centre may not cope with it once in a stable home.

etc

When considering a dog, you would do as well not to consider the 'best case' outcome, but really some of the more common problems as well. Typically: can you cope with a dog that dogs, barks, chews, is nervous of other people or dogs, cannot be left alone, requires more or less exercise than is typical for their breed, develops health issues and so on.

Universitynewbie · 13/09/2023 09:01

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 13/09/2023 07:51

Would you leave your child locked in a room all day every day with no access to a toilet and nothing to do, mo company, no devices, no choice but to lie down and sleep?

My question would be - why are you leaving a dog alone with nothing to do?

My dog is left with the TV on, the cats for company, water, his favourite blankets and a long-lasting chew like a Kong or an Ostrich bone. He can very easily hold his bladder for 12+ hours so as long as he's toileted before I go out, that's not a consideration for me.

He's not left for long, maybe an hour a couple of times a week, but I would never leave him with nothing to occupy his time.

I am not leaving my dog alone with nothing to do- I don't have a dog.
I am sure I can hold my bladder for a longer period than I actually wait to use the bathroom- doesn't mean it is comfortable or OK to force an animal to have to do this. Also leaving a dog for an hour with a Kong etc is very different to leaving it all day every day. I don't believe televisions provide the same stimulation to a dog as they do to humans so for mw that is a moot point

Livelifelaughter · 13/09/2023 09:01

My dog honestly is fine at home for this period but I built the time up gradually. I don't leave him alone on consecutive days. He is also on Borrow My Doggy and I leave keys in a safe box so I can arrange for someone to take him out or just keep him company, it doesn't always work that way though. He isn't a barky dog, my neighbours would let me know!

Sweatybettysboobs · 13/09/2023 09:04

Sign up for borrow my doggy - you could maybe walk at weekends or evenings with your match. Win win all round.

Swipe left for the next trending thread