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AIBU?

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Original poster

To search for a small dog that can be left alone during the day?

434 replies

PleasedToBeAFlower · 12/09/2023 21:49

I will accept it if I get flamed by dog lovers for this.
But is there such a thing as a small dog that can be left alone for 5 or 6 hours 3 days a week?
Or is it just completely unacceptable to plan to do this?
My DD aged 9 has a significant educational learning delay. This is affecting her self esteem and self confidence. She is otherwise highly intelligent.
So I need to chanel in to things she loves, so that she can feel good about things she loves and is good at, to compensate for spending all day at school feeling rubbish about herself for not being able to learn.
And boy oh boy does she LOVE dogs. She literally adores them. She cannot pass one without making friends with it. Dogs seem attracted to her. And she's amaaaaazing with them. All breeds, all ages, doesn't matter, she adores them and they do seem to adore her.
She has begged for a dog for 6 years so far. I've always said no.
But I actually think it would be incredible for her to have one.
I have no doubt she would be 100% committed to it, and it would be a lucky dog as she would love it and care for it so much.
BUT it would be alone in the house 3 days a week for about 6 hours a day.
No way round this.
Kids at school.
DH and I go to work, and we dont have jobs that we can take dogs to.
Is this ever, ever, ever do-able???
Or is there never a way to have a dog if it's left on its own?
I realise it has to be fair on the dog, not just what we want.

OP posts:
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7
RedHelenB · 12/09/2023 22:10

Mine's fine left alone. Depends on the dog.

Ponoka7 · 12/09/2023 22:12

My DD's Frenchie can be left that long. But as said, that only started happening since she turned four.

Didiplanthis · 12/09/2023 22:13

We have someone who comes in for an hour at mid day to let the dogs out, play with them and give them cuddles 2 days a week, and they go to day care one day/week.... they actually prefer staying at home and sleeping, but their day care day we are out longer.

caban · 12/09/2023 22:14

You'd need daycare or at least a dog walker.

Maybe look at an older dog or two dogs that appreciate some peace and quiet.

tillyandmilly · 12/09/2023 22:14

No sadly not - too long a day - up to 3 hours yes at a push - but it’s seriously not fair on the dog

minipie · 12/09/2023 22:15

Agree with Borrow My Doggy, or a cat. Burmese cats basically act like dogs…

UndercoverCop · 12/09/2023 22:16

I know this isn't what you asked but have you thought about a cat? We have a young Bengal, and in just a few months he's clicker trained, plays with a largish ball with DS, is starting to fetch, is very affectionate, if DS cries for any reason wherever the cat is, he's there immediately. Loves water which is a novelty. Also enjoys Lego! No you can't walk a cat but they can still be very therapeutic. Much better at being left alone too.

NerdyIsMyMiddleName · 12/09/2023 22:17

Dogs are really social, they wouldn't do well alone for that long. Have you thought about getting a cat?

NerdyIsMyMiddleName · 12/09/2023 22:17

Ha ha, great minds!

JayAlfredPrufrock · 12/09/2023 22:19

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SensitiveB · 12/09/2023 22:20

I’d try cat too . Our dog is definitely upset when we leave her and I never do this longer than 2 hours say if it’s really too hot to bring her in the car to get groceries . She wants to be with us absolutely all the time and it’s mutual ! We did wait 20 years to be able to have her and to work from home though .

Wanttobeok · 12/09/2023 22:21

You asked in the wrong place OP.

On mumsnet if a dog is going to be left alone for an hour. ..ever, it's too long.

Realistically depending on the individual dog (and there's no way of knowing that until they are older) and also the age of the dog YES it is possible for a dog to be left alone for that amount of time.

It's a very modern thing not to leave a dog on its own.

Had dogs all my life, my parents had dogs all their lives and they were left alone when needed.

They were happy healthy dogs. Happier and healthier than the ones I see these days who are dragged round dog friendly (but actually not!) tourist attractions when they would much rather be curled up on the sofa.

Breakawaytour · 12/09/2023 22:21

Broodywuz · 12/09/2023 22:06

I'll probably get shot down for this but relatively recently, before the lockdown dog craze, it was pretty normal for a lot of people to have dogs and go to work most days. Agree as a puppy and probably for the first year, 5/6 hours is too long for them not to get out to the toilet but after that, as long as they're getting good walks and exercise and plenty of attention the rest of the time I think leaving it this length of time would be no issue. I would be prepared though that it's likely to be high as a kite when you get in and you'll need to take it straight out for a long walk

Didn't ever make it right though did it?

Paramummy3 · 12/09/2023 22:22

I think this is ok, however needs to be built up to and well excercised before being left. 6 hours is our dogs maximum, but we do make a point of leaving her for a few hours a few times a week, and 6 hours probably every couple of weeks.
Key points for me- not while they are under 1, and get to 6 hours gradually
our dog is rarely left without having walked at least 3 miles in the morning.
we have a camera and she just sleeps. Same as she does when we are there really……

SensitiveB · 12/09/2023 22:24

I didn’t mean to sound so bossy though- there might be dogs that are fine with it , they differ so widely I expect and you just need to know your breed I expect and see if any are more independent than ours !

AliOlis · 12/09/2023 22:25

Dreadfully cruel thing to do. Even the coach potatoes who don't need much exercise need company.

RunningFromInsanity · 12/09/2023 22:29

A full grown dog without separation anxiety and settled into the house should be ok.
MN thinks dogs can tell the time and explode after 4 hours but in the real world people work full time and have happy healthy dogs.

XenoBitch · 12/09/2023 22:30

AliOlis · 12/09/2023 22:25

Dreadfully cruel thing to do. Even the coach potatoes who don't need much exercise need company.

Tell my dog that. She is rarely in the same room as me when I am at home. She sleeps when I am not there.

YankeeDad · 12/09/2023 22:31

as someone else suggested, how about a cat?

TheFlis · 12/09/2023 22:31

Our dachshund is happy to be left that long, as long as he’s been well fed and walked he just takes himself off to bed the whole time (we watch on a camera). We only do it once a week or so though and it took until he was about 18 months to get to that point though, until he was nearly a year he would bark after 10 minutes!

It would not be remotely realistic to do this with a puppy and you never know how a dog will turn out. Some have terrible separation anxiety for no apparent reason, that no amount of training fixes.

babbscrabbs · 12/09/2023 22:32

Why not go on borrow my doggy so she can get to know and look after a dog first.

My DS asked for a guinea pig for years but when he actually got to look after one it put him off!

MarySmit · 12/09/2023 22:33

Are you getting an adult dog? A puppy definitely won't be ok being alone this long (they need very regular toileting, for a start). An adult dog could be if no separation anxiety. Or you could get a dog walker.

FlamboMango · 12/09/2023 22:33

Just get a dog walker to come in mid way through. Totally doable and manageable and indeed very commonplace.

margotmargeaux · 12/09/2023 22:34

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Same here.

thegreylady · 12/09/2023 22:34

My dd has a cockerpoo. They also have an old cat, a secure garden and a small dog door (like a large cat flap) so the animals can get into the garden. Most days the dog goes to work with dsil who is self employed but if it is too hot or too cold the dog will stay at home very happily. I pop in sometimes for a cuddle and a play and the dog is always pleased to see me and is usually in bed with the cat when I arrive.