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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To search for a small dog that can be left alone during the day?

434 replies

PleasedToBeAFlower · 12/09/2023 21:49

I will accept it if I get flamed by dog lovers for this.
But is there such a thing as a small dog that can be left alone for 5 or 6 hours 3 days a week?
Or is it just completely unacceptable to plan to do this?
My DD aged 9 has a significant educational learning delay. This is affecting her self esteem and self confidence. She is otherwise highly intelligent.
So I need to chanel in to things she loves, so that she can feel good about things she loves and is good at, to compensate for spending all day at school feeling rubbish about herself for not being able to learn.
And boy oh boy does she LOVE dogs. She literally adores them. She cannot pass one without making friends with it. Dogs seem attracted to her. And she's amaaaaazing with them. All breeds, all ages, doesn't matter, she adores them and they do seem to adore her.
She has begged for a dog for 6 years so far. I've always said no.
But I actually think it would be incredible for her to have one.
I have no doubt she would be 100% committed to it, and it would be a lucky dog as she would love it and care for it so much.
BUT it would be alone in the house 3 days a week for about 6 hours a day.
No way round this.
Kids at school.
DH and I go to work, and we dont have jobs that we can take dogs to.
Is this ever, ever, ever do-able???
Or is there never a way to have a dog if it's left on its own?
I realise it has to be fair on the dog, not just what we want.

OP posts:
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7
elsx · 12/09/2023 22:36

Controversially I’m going to disagree with other replies, I have two dogs, I work in the office two days a week, on those days I walk them in the morning for a hour, when we arrive home they have breakfast and head straight to their beds for a nap. They have full access to the back garden by a dog flap, I have cameras in the house and back garden and they choose to sleep all day (they’ve been like this since they were pups). I’m usually gone from around 8.30am and home by 4ish, as soon as I’m home we head straight back out for another walk. My neighbour also has a key (retired and loves the boys, if I noticed anything on the camera she would pop round, or my job is flex so I can leave). It’s a-lot of commitment with the double walk, but I want to walk my dogs myself… its my mental health break. Dogs are amazing for kids, if you are worried definitely look into a dog walker, i’d also advise a rescue instead of a pup, the first six months with a pup is chaos!

thegreylady · 12/09/2023 22:36

They got him during lockdown so all the puppy years he had company all the time for 2 years.

SueVineer · 12/09/2023 22:37

Yeah lots of dogs would be fine with that. My dog is sometimes left 8 hours one day a week. She’s used to it now and goes back to bed when she sees me go out. She’s perfectly happy.

Mirabai · 12/09/2023 22:37

Yes - it’s called a cat.

Bs0u416d · 12/09/2023 22:40

I think it is unreasonable to get a dog if the plan is to leave it for so long on a regular basis. Particularly impractical and unfair on a poppy. But don't rule out getting a dog altogether. Dog walkers are a very reasonable way of fitting a dog around work. Personally, we use a doggy day care 3 times per week but that can get quite costly I'm comparison.

Fantina · 12/09/2023 22:40

When we dog sit for my DSIS her dog is left alone from 9-3pm and he is absolutely fine and sleeps for most of the time.

I give her a big morning walk that ends at 9 when I need to leave for work, then DS walks him as soon as he gets in from school at 3pm. DH walks him again sometime between 5-6 when he gets in and I do the bedtime walk around 10pm.

A dog that gets four walks a day isn’t having a bad life. We do big family walks at the weekend.

Dogs can and do sleep all night so I’m not sure why leaving them for six hours, unless they are anxious or a particularly energetic breed, is such a bad thing.

My friend apparently cannot fill up her car with petrol because her dog gets such terrible separation anxiety so at least my sister’s dog isn’t like that!

TeenLifeMum · 12/09/2023 22:41

My cocker spaniel is 3.5 years old and quite happy to chill at home on the sofa or my bed for 5-6 hours but it’s only very occasionally in an emergency. Up until 2.5 there was no chance. But if it was regular I’d arrange for someone to pop in. We wouldn’t need a walker as we’d just go to our hot weather routine of morning and evening walks. Fridays we can leave him as the cleaner is here for 3 hours. Maybe get a cleaner twice a week.

Wanttobeok · 12/09/2023 22:58

Ahhh the classic MN response 👌 not useless in the slightest

Wanttobeok · 12/09/2023 22:58

My quote didn't quote but it was for the "yes its called a cat" comment

AngryBirdsNoMore · 12/09/2023 23:02

Friends use Borrow My Doggy for just this situation. They have two or three regular borrowers for their cavapoo.

SaylessSayless · 12/09/2023 23:08

Most adult dogs are fine for 5 hours. Give them lots of attention and exercise before you leave and when you get back and they'll sleep when you are away. A dog is better in his own home where he is comfortable than in doggy day care imo.

Loomy · 12/09/2023 23:08

Those saying a cat, my kittens are so bloody needy!

But seriously don’t get a dog because DD wants one, get one because you know you will enjoy walking in the rain and dark before work.

TroglodytesTroglodytes · 12/09/2023 23:11

I don’t have a dog but I have cats that are happy all day when nobody is around. I just wanted to add to the thread because a neighbour leaves their dog alone at home and it seems fine, doesn’t bark much or wreck anything. I know they are not small, but it is an ex racing greyhound, I get the impression that they are sort of institutionalised so not much bother.

YoDood · 12/09/2023 23:13

This one is perfect for you 👍

To search for a small dog that can be left alone during the day?
Fortboyard · 12/09/2023 23:13

I have a cavalier who literally goes everywhere with me including to work. Cavaliers are well known for needing lots of company. When at work she can choose to be in an office with people but often goes off for hours on end to sleep in a quieter space on her own. I have to wake her up to take her out for a walk and she wouldn’t ask for one if I didn’t suggest it. Dogs naturally need plenty of sleep and too much stimulation is just as bad for them as too little. I know my dog would absolutely hate doggy day care. I have zero qualms about leaving her on her own when necessary. She’s basically always in the exact same place as I’ve left her peacefully sleeping.
Even the rspca think it’s ok to teach a dog to be left alone!
https://www.rspca.org.uk/webContent/staticImages/Pdfs/LearningToBeLeftAlone.pdf

https://www.rspca.org.uk/webContent/staticImages/Pdfs/LearningToBeLeftAlone.pdf

Youdoyoubabe · 12/09/2023 23:13

Do you have an enclosed garden? If so just get a kennel and leave it outside. 5 to 6 hours is ok 3 times a week.

lots of small dogs can be a bit happy though. It might start to annoy the neighbours.

AliOlis · 12/09/2023 23:15

TroglodytesTroglodytes · 12/09/2023 23:11

I don’t have a dog but I have cats that are happy all day when nobody is around. I just wanted to add to the thread because a neighbour leaves their dog alone at home and it seems fine, doesn’t bark much or wreck anything. I know they are not small, but it is an ex racing greyhound, I get the impression that they are sort of institutionalised so not much bother.

No, ex racers fret when left alone, they're extremely needy when parted from their kennel mates.

TorqueWrench · 12/09/2023 23:17

I don't think a dog is the right pet here tbh, but as dogs go the most suitable would probably be a breed that is equally suited to being a working dog as a pet.

FOJN · 12/09/2023 23:18

No. It is not reasonable to boost your daughter's confidence at a dog's expense. If she really loves dogs then you need to educate her about the care they require and tell her that it's not fair to leave a dog alone for 6 hours.

Please do not do this, find another way to give her contact with dogs or find something else to boost her confidence.

XenoBitch · 12/09/2023 23:20

TroglodytesTroglodytes · 12/09/2023 23:11

I don’t have a dog but I have cats that are happy all day when nobody is around. I just wanted to add to the thread because a neighbour leaves their dog alone at home and it seems fine, doesn’t bark much or wreck anything. I know they are not small, but it is an ex racing greyhound, I get the impression that they are sort of institutionalised so not much bother.

Greyhounds are not so much institutionalised... it is more that they are just known to love sleep and be bone idle. I have a greyhound, and she was never raced. I had her from a puppy. She sleeps for England and has never had any separation anxiety. She is fine to be left. When I get home, I hear her jump down from my bed upstairs 😂

YapYap2023 · 12/09/2023 23:23

Dogs in battersea dogs home sit alone in kennels for 22-23 hours a day.

I'm sure your dog would be fine as long as you trained it properly.

AliOlis · 12/09/2023 23:23

YapYap2023 · 12/09/2023 23:23

Dogs in battersea dogs home sit alone in kennels for 22-23 hours a day.

I'm sure your dog would be fine as long as you trained it properly.

They don't.

caringcarer · 12/09/2023 23:24

I have two Lhasa Apso dogs and they are not clingy. They love DH he is their favourite person on the planet. They don't seem to mind being left alone for 4-5 hours at a time. I've asked my neighbour who is home all day if they drive her mad barking but she says they only bark if someone comes to our door or when DH comes home. They have the run of downstairs, including they can go in and out of the house via their dog flap. They also have company of two cats. They also have a large kennel in the garden for shade and comfort with water in there.

Youdoyoubabe · 12/09/2023 23:24

It does depend on the dog really though. A puppy, definitely no!

our dogs are not really people dogs. They kind of ignore us and just like barking at passing cats and people. They are self appointed guardians of the property. It does make me feel safe as if anyone comes near the house they bark loudly and let me know.

it might be good for security…. MYbe not a little dog though.

best woukd be to get a dog walker to pop on and walk them during the day if you don’t have much outside space.

XenoBitch · 12/09/2023 23:26

TorqueWrench · 12/09/2023 23:17

I don't think a dog is the right pet here tbh, but as dogs go the most suitable would probably be a breed that is equally suited to being a working dog as a pet.

Bad idea. A working breed that is not working is going to wreck their house if they go out... or wreck the neighbours hearing.
My neighbours have a spaniel (not sure if it is springer or cocker) and it howls the place down whenever they leave it. It is about 3 years old now, so you would think it would be used to it.