To search for a small dog that can be left alone during the day?

[PleasedToBeAFlower]

I will accept it if I get flamed by dog lovers for this.
But is there such a thing as a small dog that can be left alone for 5 or 6 hours 3 days a week?
Or is it just completely unacceptable to plan to do this?
My DD aged 9 has a significant educational learning delay. This is affecting her self esteem and self confidence. She is otherwise highly intelligent.
So I need to chanel in to things she loves, so that she can feel good about things she loves and is good at, to compensate for spending all day at school feeling rubbish about herself for not being able to learn.
And boy oh boy does she LOVE dogs. She literally adores them. She cannot pass one without making friends with it. Dogs seem attracted to her. And she's amaaaaazing with them. All breeds, all ages, doesn't matter, she adores them and they do seem to adore her.
She has begged for a dog for 6 years so far. I've always said no.
But I actually think it would be incredible for her to have one.
I have no doubt she would be 100% committed to it, and it would be a lucky dog as she would love it and care for it so much.
BUT it would be alone in the house 3 days a week for about 6 hours a day.
No way round this.
Kids at school.
DH and I go to work, and we dont have jobs that we can take dogs to.
Is this ever, ever, ever do-able???
Or is there never a way to have a dog if it's left on its own?
I realise it has to be fair on the dog, not just what we want.

I think there is a difference between treating them like children and thinking they have the same right as a human being not to suffer because of our selfish choices (emotional and physical suffering). I haven't seen anyone on here suggesting treating them and disciplining them like a child- you are conflating 2 different things

I think people are actually bonkers on mumsnet. 6 hours a day twice a week is perfectly reasonable! Obviously if it's a puppy then no because they'll probably be destructive and need the toilet, but for a grown adult dog they will likely just sleep for that time. Or give them boredom toys to use.
For God's sake if everyone acted as high and mighty in real life as they do on mumsnet about dogs then no one would own one.

But your average, well-adjusted adult dog isn't going to "suffer" because they're left alone for 12 hours out of 168 in a week.

MN has a tendency to go very OTT when it comes to dogs - either they're all vicious, smelly beasts out to kill children and shit on your doorstep, or they must never be left at home even in an emergency.

Yes, dogs are social animals and yes, they love company but that doesn't mean they can never be left alone for more than a couple of hours (puppies and separation anxiety aside, of course).

But the dog is being left alone all night and THEN all day... (if you have a dog and then go out to work full time in the day.) If you don't work away all day, it will only be alone at night. I am baffled to fuckery that you - and some others - are not grasping this basic fact.

There are some ludicrous posts on this thread.

Some people should REALLY not be dog owners! It is NOT OK to leave a dog alone all day while you're at work, ever. And there are no dogs that are 'OK all day alone.' FFS. I despair for humanity that the OP even asked this question!

Oh FFS! PLEASE tell me you don't have a dog!

Miniature poodles are lovely but you’d need care for the dog on your three days. You can’t leave any dog for that length of time.

It's 6 hours, that isnt all day and is twice a week. Dogs can't tell the time, they don't know how long they're alone for. Granted 6hrs is the max I'd leave a dog but it is certainly acceptable and doable.

Fed, watered, exercised and loved is all that is required. Constant human supervision is not.

OP is talking about getting an adult dog. In all likelihood this dog is currently sitting in kennels or a rescue centre somewhere and only getting out of their pen for a short time each day. They would be delighted to be with a loving family who would exercise them lots, feed them well and keep them company for all but 2 6 hour periods a week.

Perspective is needed on Mumsnet when people mention getting dogs. So many posters automatically leap in declaring the poster couldn't possibly. There is a crisis in British rescue centres at the moment and anyone with a good, loving, responsible home to offer should be encouraged to help a dog.

Exactly this!

A rescue dog with an uncertain, possibly traumatic history left alone for 6 hours a day 3 x per week. What could possibly go wrong?

Agree with other posters than an older dog or a cat is a better choice.

Unpopular opinion here, but some dogs don’t actually mind being left for that long a few days a week. Perhaps not a very small one as they will have a small bladder! I’ve had several dogs that ended up being left that long occasionally (not every day or even every week) and were absolutely fine, no separation anxiety, well adjusted and no destruction at all (not in a crate either). They do get left all night after all. They tend to just snooze all day. I also know friends and neighbours who have done/are doing this a few days a week when they have to go in to the office. They get a long walk in the morning and in the evening. It very much depends on the dog’s personality- some breeds would hate this. I certainly would not leave a puppy that long, but you are not talking about getting a puppy.

It’s not realistic to leave a dog that long. Could you get a cleaner 3x a week to keep
dog company and give short extra walk.

OUR dog is 3 and I can leave fo 3-4 hours but not sure that would have been possible in first year.

What about a rescue dog? An older one? Our dog when a puffy we couldn’t leave him alone that long, my gran used to pop over to check on him but we’re lucky enough to have constant access to back porch and garden for him and locking the inside door so he’s always got shelter and outside access but once again a puppy will probably be unlikely to be left for that long and probably won’t be able to leave an older dog straight away.

Lol puppy*

I have two dogs and they’re fine for about 4-5 hours on the very odd occasion we’ve had to leave them that long. That’s pretty much the recommended maximum that the rspca state.

If you’re planning on a puppy you won’t be able to do this right away though, as they need out for the toilet very regularly for the first few months (depending on the dog) and they also would be likely to be anxious. You would potentially be the same with a rescue as they can have behavioural issues and would need time to settle but in any case it’s very hard to get a rescue dog if you have kids.

I would say you’d need to get a walker to come the three days you’re working, someone you trust with a key to come in and take the dog out. But you will have to think about the first couple of months as the training period isn’t too dissimilar to having a newborn!

Tbh I completely think people shouldn’t have dogs if they plan on leaving them alone routinely (I.e to go to work). Why get a ‘pack’ animal and then leave it alone for several hours a day?

I also think you’re quite naive for thinking that two walks a day and interaction can make up/justify leaving it for 6+ hours twice a week.

The op was suggesting leaving the dog for 6 hours a day for 3 days a week, plus I am sure there would also be social reasons they would leave the dog at other times, plus at night so it wouldn't just be 12 hours. For me it is the planned regular 6 hour stints that are an issue. I am not of the mind a dog cannot be left alone ever or in an emergency (shit happens!) I just don't think it should be part of the plan to be leaving a dog alone all day. I see the op has updated to say there would be a dog flap which improves conditions in my mind somewhat but I still think a lot of dogs would be distressed in this situation.

@Universitynewbie I agree. The dog flap might solve the problem of going to the toilet but dogs need and crave company. They are pack animals. I think it would all be solved by getting a dog walker (once the dog is settled) to break up those lonely hours and it sounds like the OP is considering that too.

Why are people bashing on about what a well trained, happy, chilled adult dog can handle?

OP won't be getting one of those, no one gets one of those, you can't order them up online.

OP will be getting either a puppy or a second hand dog - either option involves work, time, compromises and sacrifices, to get to the hallowed grounds of 'well trained, happy, chilled, adult dog'.

Getting dogs to where they can be left 4 hours regular, 6 hours occasionally is very possible - if you understand dogs of course and can meet all their needs.

Heads up for those who think dogs will be grateful that they were rescued, super thankful that they're not sat in kennels waiting hopefully for someone to save them.

Dogs don't think like that. If they did, I'd be out of a job.

You can move a dog from a shit situation to a better, but still not ideal situation, and the dog will still suffer, will still be a problem to live with. 'Better' is not good enough!

My dogs can be left up to 6 hours, I don't do it regularly as it's a bit too long really, but if I leave for work at 8 and am not back by 2 they are fine, but this is the longest I'll leave them. When I worked full days I had a dog walker come in at lunchtime to take them out in the garden for a wee and half an hours company. I'd consider talking to a rehoming centre, they'll help you find a dog that will fit your family, and you can go and meet various dogs and see how they get on with you all. A puppy is cute, but aside from the high price, they are a lot of work for the first couple of years, and need lots of training etc. A rehomed dog will allow you to bypass the puppy stage.

I’m pretty sure that during lockdown when I started WFH, my dog was sick of sight of me! He would look at me wondering why I wasn’t leaving him to his daily peace

Please don’t plan to leave a dog for that long. Some dogs can be ok for up to 5 hours but not when young and a lot of dogs definitely wouldn’t cope well for that long. If you can budget for a dog walker or doggy daycare then this is a solution.

Another great idea is a website called “borrowmydoggy” which is a great way of meeting local people who may want to look after your dog during the day to keep them company - of course this isn’t guaranteed so I wouldn’t rely on it but we do this 2 days per week with our dog and it is mutually beneficial.

Again, THIS.

People do leave their dogs on their own for 6 hours but it doesn’t mean the dogs are happy. RSPCA say you shouldn’t leave a dog alone for more than 4 hours. If you can make a plan to break up the dogs day on the 2 days it may be ok ie dog walker, doggy day care - depends on the dog.