To search for a small dog that can be left alone during the day?

[PleasedToBeAFlower]

I will accept it if I get flamed by dog lovers for this.
But is there such a thing as a small dog that can be left alone for 5 or 6 hours 3 days a week?
Or is it just completely unacceptable to plan to do this?
My DD aged 9 has a significant educational learning delay. This is affecting her self esteem and self confidence. She is otherwise highly intelligent.
So I need to chanel in to things she loves, so that she can feel good about things she loves and is good at, to compensate for spending all day at school feeling rubbish about herself for not being able to learn.
And boy oh boy does she LOVE dogs. She literally adores them. She cannot pass one without making friends with it. Dogs seem attracted to her. And she's amaaaaazing with them. All breeds, all ages, doesn't matter, she adores them and they do seem to adore her.
She has begged for a dog for 6 years so far. I've always said no.
But I actually think it would be incredible for her to have one.
I have no doubt she would be 100% committed to it, and it would be a lucky dog as she would love it and care for it so much.
BUT it would be alone in the house 3 days a week for about 6 hours a day.
No way round this.
Kids at school.
DH and I go to work, and we dont have jobs that we can take dogs to.
Is this ever, ever, ever do-able???
Or is there never a way to have a dog if it's left on its own?
I realise it has to be fair on the dog, not just what we want.

Btw, this stupid rule is the reason so many dogs rot in rescues for months or years. If you asked my dog with her warm house, luxury bed, top quality food, daily walks, etc, if it’s being left while I work or to sit rotting in a kennel to wait for the “perfect” owner who doesn’t work or never leaves the house….what do you think she’d pick?

No I don't, did not mean to imply this,

@PleasedToBeAFlower Separation anxiety treatment is what I do (and ideally, avoidance of..)

Factor in it will take around 6 months to a year for a rescue dog to settle in.

Any separation anxiety issues - and it is normal for dogs to not want to be alone, not cope well alone, have to learn this - could also take that sort of time frame to fix.

So you need to find full cover initially, work on ensuring either any issue is fixed or that there is no issue in the first place... at the dogs pace, not the pace that suits you or your pocket... before you can bank on leaving the dog several hours between dog walker visits and people returning home.

Even dogs who have had no prior SRP's (Separation Related Problems) may well exhibit them on moving into a new home - again, this is normal and should be expected.

Preventing SRP means firstly, not leaving the dog alone at all.

Then it means working to desensitize the dog to the various visual cues and routines you will have around leaving the house.

It means building up the time they are left, sometimes in increments of a few seconds (not the 'five minutes, then ten minutes, then 15 minutes' you will so often hear suggested around the internet and even on some doggy tv shows).

If your new dog can't cope alone, then each time they are left you undo the work you put in - this means you may have to seriously re-jig how the household works. It means things like, you might prefer a dog that sleeps downstairs alone but you've got a dog who needs to sleep with a person for at least the next 6 months; arranging for everyone to be out whilst you (it will be you!) spend half an hour shuffling in and out of the front door boring your dog shitless; you spend 40 minutes parked at the end of the road watching a pet-cam, three times a week, having chucked everyone else out so you can do this in the correct context.

It is do-able, and you may get lucky and find you do not need to put in that level of work, however there is no way to tell which dog needs this level of work, until they are in your home, and you're already attached (or your kid)....

Rescues can tell you the dog has displayed no signs of SRP, a foster can tell you this too, but the reality is, dogs behaviour is relevant to their environment as well as prior learned experiences, genetics, pain levels.... so there are no guarantees.

But surely a dog owner can leave the house for 6 hours without the dog. They can learn. And not mind.
Youll be fine. The dog will be fine. In a warm bed, chewing on a bone, drink of water, more sleeping. I don't see the poblem. Really.

Some dogs can be, but definitely not all dogs. It usually takes months to work up to them being comfortable and not bark or cry when left alone for that long. You can's assume the dog will be fine with it so there has to be a plan b if they aren't.

Why is a dog's happiness and quality of life not as important? Genuine question

You're genuinely asking why a DOG is not as important as a CHILD?

Like, actually?

TBH I think some people think dogs are more important than children.

Because they're a dog.

Their happiness and quality of life is of course important but not comparable to a child.

This.

I do worry that there are some mumsnetters reclusive in their homes because of the misplaced belief that a dog cannot be left. They can!

Walk them, feed them, toilet them and play with them. Then leave the house and do stuff.

Why have you picked out one part of this excellent post and ignored the rest? Yes PP misunderstood what you meant about the 2 hours of company in the morning, but they also made excellent points about needing a dog walker initially, and about how their settled adult dogs needed months to readjust after a house move. Interesting that you're ignoring those.

@WiddlinDiddlin 's post is excellent too

All those saying "It will be fine...just leave the dog..." - PLEASE read this.

Every dog is different. Even if a rescue centre KNOWS a dog's 'provenance' and that it was regularly left with no problems, this does mean it will be when put in a ew environment.

And if it becomes distressed, destructive, etc - the OP MUST have a back-up plan that is not 'return the dog to rescue'.

It can take months to teach that, and get to a point where the dog does not mind.

Separation anxiety sufferers can howl constantly for hours, they can dig or scrabble at doors til their paws bleed and their rip out their claws, crated dogs can trash crates, escape, ripping themselves to bits on the bars or plastic. I have had client with dogs who have gone through windows (single glazed!)...

Even if you discount entirely the fact the animal is suffering, most people can't handle their neighbours being disturbed or the cost of constantly repairing the damage.

Even those who do not do the extreme levels of obvious damage to themselves and their surroundings can experience behaviour problems as a result of SRP that make them hard to live with - increased anxiety, reactivity, development of phobias, aggression.

RSPCA stats (and i think they got them from Lincoln University, they've probably done the most dog related stuff in the UK) are 85% of dogs suffer some SRP.

You were brave to post on MN where no dog should be left alone ever.

People have dogs and jobs. Yes maybe it isn't 100% ideal, but then what life is. Ideally I would like to stay at home all day and play with the dog but that doesn't pay for the dog food.

The life you are describing for a dog is 100% better than the life it would live in a shelter. And quite possibly far better for the dog than having random strangers come in and then the family not walking or playing with the dog when they get home.

In a slightly similar situation we chose to get a Tonkinese cat. She is very affectionate and loves to play. She'll even play fetch (when she feels like it). They are very striking looking cats. Ours is a "basic" Tonkinese being a straight cross with a Siamese and a Burmese rather than being a true breed Tonkinese but we were looking for genetic diversity. She has short hair and is very easy care compared to a dog.

I have a 2 year old Labrador and both DH and I work full time, he is based in an office whereas I am hybrid so there are 3 days a week where I am in the office. On those days I take him out for a good walk before I leave (about 60-90 mins, a good run around) and he has his breakfast from a Kong to work his brain, then I leave for work, our dog walker picks him up at 11am and has him out for a group walk with other dogs so he doesn’t get dropped back off until 1pm and I’m home by half 3/4 oclock, I have cameras in the house and he literally sleeps the entire time we are gone😂 but we have trained him to be able to do this, and from him being 8 weeks to about 10 months he went to doggy day care instead as he couldn’t yet be on his own for too long! One thing I would say OP with regards to getting an older dog or rescue is that if that dog comes with separation anxiety, or is dog reactive, anxious etc, you’re going to really struggle to leave them or get them booked in with a dog walker or day care as they won’t pass the assessments.

Ah sorry, yes. OP says 3 times a week.

You’d absolutely need to look at daycare.

A dog's quality of life is very important, obviously but comparing leaving a dog for 6 hours twice a week with a child is frankly just stupid. They are not the same, and anyone who compares dogs with children is silly.

No Op you wouldn't need to look at day care at all.

This is why we have so many misbehaved dogs and quite frankly batshit owners because they treat them like babies. I love dogs, I grew up around them and loved them wholeheartedly so I'm not a dog hater but people who compare them with children are honestly insane.

I'm a single parent and have a West Highland Terrier (as name suggests). I'm out the house 1 day a week.

She is the laziest thing ever. We do a 30 minute walk in the morning every day. Then I do school run and she's alone for that, then she sleeps on the sofa or under my desk all day. I let he out maybe every 2 hours (I can get up whenever I want so if she sits by the door as if to go out I let her out). Then another 30-40 minute walk in the evening and she's happy.

My day I'm in the office, I watch her on the cameras in the living room and kitchen, shes either asleep or watching the cars from the window. Worst thing she's done while alone is knock her entire water bowl over so I now always leave 2 out just in case.

We have a dog flap but she refuses to use it.

Don't do it. A friend came back to a dog with a broken leg

So I agree that the OP should have some options like a dog walker or doggy daycare but if those don't work (and some dogs presumably don't do well with those options) then return to the rescue is always going to be the ultimate back up plan. What else is there other than quit her job and go on benefits to be fully available to her dog?

I realise that some on here probably do think that's the obvious answer but it's ridiculous

Thanks for the advice, but I have explained this earlier in the thread.

Yes